messing with your children

[Vanquisher]

Speaking of children needing therapy...

Okay, I admit it. I like to mess with my kids. I find a sick twisted humor in it. I sing the wrong words to their songs on purpose to tick them off. I tease them.

Let me defend myself by saying that I also do loving nurturing things with them, and furthermore, I think that my teasing them has inherent value in it. At least I tell myself that. My son does not take teasing well at all, and I have told myself, him, and his father that I tease him so much so that he learns about it and can shrug it off out there in the world. I know I am supposed to be a haven for him, and none of my teasing is mean. I do think it has helped him a little though. He was always very sensitive, and I do think it has helped him take things a little more easily and learn to let things slide a little more. To be sure, he is still VERY sensitive.

Example, in talking about Spongebob and company with my daughter a few minutes ago, she was trying to say Plankton, and couldn't quite get it right, so I said,

"Patrick?"
"No, Placetin!"
"Sandy?"
"No, Placetin!"
"OHHH, Plllaaannnnkkktooon."
"Yes, that's what I said!!"
"So, is everyone going to Plankton's house?"
"Uuuuuuhhhhh. Mom, Placetin lives at Chum Bucket!"



This is just a small example. I actually tease my kids quite frequently. I know, I am totally mean. I am messing with my 3-year-old.

So, all you armchair psychiatrists, am I damaging my children for life by messing with them, OR am I helping to prepare them for the wide world?

[poky]

Heh.

I don't think you'll cause any lasting damage, but then I'm not even an armchair psychologist, and I grew up in a similar environment (though it's my dad who teased and was also fond of bad puns).

what is it with p words, btw? I distinctly remember having a HELL of a time pronouncing "practice" correctly when I was young. Took forever to be able to put the right sounds in the right order.

[SuzySunshine]

DH is a smart ass like no one I know, or so I thought until I met his father. His dad teased him and his brother and picked on them incessantly when they were children, not out of mean-ness. Personally I think he's a better man because of it - he never takes shit from anyone but he also knows how to communicate well and when teasing/joking is and isn't appropriate.

Now when he was in high school his friends did have to show him that some of the stuff he did wasn't appropriate and he learned a lot from it. So I think there can be a time when the kid takes it to far but as long as they learn what is ok and what isn't I think its a good thing to prepare kids for.

I'm not great a snappy comebacks and thinking of things quickly but I have become a lot better at it since I started dating DH b/c when you're around people like that you do learn to dish it and take it.

[mommax3]

I don't think you are doing any harm whatsoever by what you describe, Heidi. DH does similar things, and I do too. I think it helps develop a sense of humor in them, as long as it isn't done in a mean way.

Sally

[peggyfromwastate]

I grew up in a super sarcastic household too Annie. And I was ridiculed to the hilt for mispronouncing words. Of course, these are words I read in books, but hadn't heard pronounced. For instance, I still get teased by my family for mispronouncing, ARISTOCRACY. Why this was so hilarious and memorable to them, I have no idea...

Anyway, our family definitely took it too far and as a result I have to watch myself so that I'm not too mean. That's the one thing I would caution- some gentle teasing can "toughen them up" a little bit. But relentless teasing with malicious intent, may "toughen them up" but it may "scar for life".

But of course, Heidi, what you describe is soooo far from malicious... I wouldn't even call it teasing .

[Flynn]

That's the one thing I would caution- some gentle teasing can "toughen them up" a little bit. But relentless teasing with malicious intent, may "toughen them up" but it may "scar for life".

But of course, Heidi, what you describe is soooo far from malicious... I wouldn't even call it teasing .

ITA!!!!

[v-girl]

I enjoy embarrassing my girls. At the end of the last school year, we were driving down the highway on the way to school when YMCA came on Radio Disney. The 7 year old and I were singing along and it wasn't long before we had our arms up in the air making the letters. I drive an Expedition so we're pretty visible. I thought my 9 year old was going to wiggle her way down to the floor and melt. So I told her to do it with us or I would get out of the car in the school parking lot and do the YMCA as all her friends were pulling up to the school with their parents.

This morning I dropped them off in car line instead of walking them in. While we waited our turn I asked for bye by kisses. They got super-smooches instead. :nana:

[DrWahoo]

I think its my duty to tease my daughter just a bit. She takes herself too seriously and she is only six. My family likes to tease, so I tease her just to toughen her up. I think a little hazing at home prepares kids for the tough world out there.

[GrayMatterWife]

Messing with DS is a favorite pasttime for DH and me.

A couple of weeks ago, I was in the kitchen, buttering some bread to make toast, and DS was whining about wanting bread. So I said, "If you don't stop, I'm going to butter your head and you're going to have to walk around for days with a buttered head, because it won't wash out!"

He didn't stop.

So I took a big blop of butter, put it on the end of the knife, and pretended to butter his head. I laughed and said, "Oh, look at you! Butter head! Butter head!" He laughed but kind of freaked out, too, ran to the bathroom and started rubbing the towel on his head. When he came out, I said, "It's still there! Can't you see it? You're a butter head!"

This went on and on. He still thought he had butter on his head when he went to bed...and apparently to school the next day. When I went to pick him up, his teacher said, "DS kept asking for a paper towel. It sounded like he thought he had butter in his hair." My response: "Really? Hmm. Between you and me, that kid can be a little weird sometimes."

Now, every so often, when he showers, he says he needs more shampoo to get out the butter.

[Vanquisher]

Messing with DS is a favorite pasttime for DH and me.

A couple of weeks ago, I was in the kitchen, buttering some bread to make toast, and DS was whining about wanting bread. So I said, "If you don't stop, I'm going to butter your head and you're going to have to walk around for days with a buttered head, because it won't wash out!"

He didn't stop.

So I took a big blop of butter, put it on the end of the knife, and pretended to butter his head. I laughed and said, "Oh, look at you! Butter head! Butter head!" He laughed but kind of freaked out, too, ran to the bathroom and started rubbing the towel on his head. When he came out, I said, "It's still there! Can't you see it? You're a butter head!"

This went on and on. He still thought he had butter on his head when he went to bed...and apparently to school the next day. When I went to pick him up, his teacher said, "DS kept asking for a paper towel. It sounded like he thought he had butter in his hair." My response: "Really? Hmm. Between you and me, that kid can be a little weird sometimes."

Now, every so often, when he showers, he says he needs more shampoo to get out the butter.

Yes, good. I like it.

Thank you so much for sharing.

[MDPhDWife]

DH and I both grew up in very sarcastic households too. Great example would be when I met his mom for the first time. I had come home from work and saw a beautiful dolphin blanket on my bed. I asked DH (at the time BF) where it came from and he said his mom made it for me since he had mentioned to her I loved dolphins. So in my mind I picture this sweet older lady who enjoys sewing. That night when we went to the restaurant to meet his family (there was like 20 of them!) I went up to his mom and gave her hug and said thank you so much for the blanket, it was beautiful! She pulls back and looks me up and down and says, who the hell are you?!?! I was so embarrassed, I just stood there stammering until she finally said just kidding! It didn't take me very long to realize that I would have be able to take it and dish it if I was going to make it in this family! At the end of the night they made me go around and repeat everyone's name. Well I am horrible with names so I got maybe 2 right.

So since we came from similar families, we of course tease the girls often. I really think they have great senses of humor for it though. They are already at the point where they tease back! Everyday we race in the car to see who can get buckled the fastest. The person who is last is called a picklehead. Of course I'm the picklehead more often than not!

[samssugarmomma]

When we tickle DD and she says "Stop it" while giggling, sometimes we keep going and say "What? Keep tickling you?" and keep going. This only lasts a few times before she really means "Stop" though.

My parents were/still are in the camp of saying mean things and claming to "just be teasing" and when you get upset then accuse you of "being in a tizzy". My mom walked in a few days ago and said "Hi Chubby!". I was like "What did you just say?" She said, "What, your pregnant, you're supposed to be chubby. Its a good thing. Relax, I'm just teasing." Ummm, thanks mom. She knows that I've only gained 8 pounds this pregnancy.

[houseelf]

So not funny to tease a pregnant woman about her weight. I think that Moses forgot a tablet inscribed with this commandment :Thou shall NEVER, EVER mention a pregnant womans weight!

Kelly

[Gwendolyn]

O.K. so the pizza place we went to for DS's birthday has an indoor play room. There is a dad there with his daughter about 5 or 6 and a son about 2. Daughter reaches the end of the slide and stands up to notice her pants unsnapped when she sat down, so she starts running to dad to tell him and maybe get some help. Dad asks/demands "why sis you start taking off your pants?" Daughter replies she didn't it just happened. Dad says, "Did you fart? Did you fart your pants off? Hey Logan (little boy) sister farted her pants right off. hehehe," and he continues to repeat the joke. Meanwhile she has retreated up the stairs and frequently glances at us to see if we are laughing at her too. Had I not been uncertain about how physical dad's response would have been, I would have stepped in, but it seemed like dad might have had a few and I didn't need to get into a fight or get DH into a fight.

That is damaging, Heidi. You are playing with your children in a way that encourages them to take life with a sense of humor. I have loved these stories. We dish it out too, but we have had to learn to take it from DS as well! He often calls DH gorilla dad, and all day yesterday he insisted that it was not his birthday, but superman's birthday instead...silly mom!

[peggyfromwastate]

I am really kinda strict about "potty talk" at the dinner table. In fact, anything in reference to "potty" has to be said in the bathroom. Tonight at dinner, though, the kids and I had the most hilarious time-- which we needed since DH doesn't make it to dinner anymore and the kids are getting bummed.

It started with Luke (3) and Kate (11) in the living room playing around, and then Kate has Luke repeat something, like "Mommy is a meanie" or something equally hilarious. The twins (6) LOVE it. The twins and I are still sitting at the dinner table, and so I said, "Katie is a poopyhead!" This is sooo not me. The twins mouths dropped open, food falling out, and then hilarity ensued... Luke repeated it saying every single person in the family was a poopyhead, etc., etc...

We all need this kind of good natured stuff every now and again! I know I'm going to regret the whole poopyhead thing, but the kids' expressions were priceless. I'm usually the grammar police at the table...