Baby adjustment

For those out there with more than one kid, how did your first born react to your second? Our 2.5-year-old DS is good at saying baby's bed and baby's seat and knows the baby is in mommy's tummy. But that doesn't really indicate how he'll react when baby's actually here. I need to start mentally preparing.

[DCJenn]

We only have one but I can tell you that I personally enjoyed my baby brother. No one was alarmed when I took may baby doll and threw her down three flights of stairs yelling, "I HATE you BABY."

nope, it went really well.

Jenn

It's an adjustment for everyone. Overall, it has gone fine but we've had our moments. The hardest thing this time around has been keeping my now 3.5 year old from "helping" by trying to pick her up and carry her. She is both affectionate and aggressive when touching her -- not all the time -- but that is the hardest thing for me lately.

[rainbabies]

poking, prodding, "helping", anger, frustration, jealousy. that about sums it up here.

[madeintaiwan]

I think it really depends on the kid and how much attention he gets when the baby comes. DS was almost 4 when DD was born and he did great. He picked out a toy for the baby and Xmas presents since was born right before Xmas. We also had the baby "give" him a super cool toy when he came to the hospital for the first time. We were also very good about giving him lots of attention and asking him to help out, accepting it when he did not want to. We were lucky that DS is so eager to please us. MIL and DH took him to the movies and MIL fought every urge to coddle DD. We have the typical bickering but as a whole DS is very loving to his sister. We still make sure he has things that are his "own," time and certain toys.

On the otherhand when my youngest brother was born the older one was not yet 3 and he tried to smother our brother every chance he got-- with pillows, with his body, with toys. That lasted for a couple of weeks or so. To this day, I think he still feels cheated. You can hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes. My brothers are only 10 and 7. My youngest brother is pretty not nice from all the "torturing" he endured. Which in turn is unleashed on my DS. When my youngest brother was 3 (DS was turning 2) he told my MIL, "I hate baby Jasen, I want him to die, I hate him."

so there you have two ways it could go ...

[diggitydot]

Our oldest was fantastic about it. But she was also 4 1/2. She was very good about wanting to help out and only occasionally had issues with jealousy, but that was mainly because I we had to do EVERYTHING for a newborn and she was getting to the age where she could do a lot for herself. She's always been a great older sister and has only improved with age. (She's almost 12, now.)

DS was only 15mo when DD1 came along, and it was a fairly smooth transition. DD1 was almost 3 when DD2 came along, and again, no problems. I got lucky I think!

[peggyfromwastate]

The twins were almost 3 when Luke was born. They were just fine. So breathe.....

It may work out just yet!

We did the presents at the hospital for the kids from the baby. We did lots and lots of "here come baby books". And for a long time I made a huge deal about all the big kid things the twins could do that the baby was just too little to do. (The baby was too little for just about EVERYTHING!) This made the twins feel better, I think. We also had little tasks for the kids (you listen to the baby monitor, and tell me if baby cries...) I also put door knob covers over the door knobs to keep the kids out when Luke was sleeping. That way no new "toys" or "pillows" would get into the crib. When baby was up, I was with him the whole time. I just put him in a snuggli if the kids were too rough. And we got out of the house a lot- to parks mostly. To let the "big kids" do "big kid things" while the baby had to be stuck doing "boring baby things" like sleeping.

It's a little different from your situation, but the twins were about the age as your son. As far as my daughter kate when the twins were born, she was already 5.5 yrs old and it was cake. She was totally fine with the complete upheaval of the house and the house system.

We did the presents at the hospital for the kids from the baby. We did lots and lots of "here come baby books". And for a long time I made a huge deal about all the big kid things the twins could do that the baby was just too little to do. (The baby was too little for just about EVERYTHING!) This made the twins feel better, I think. We also had little tasks for the kids (you listen to the baby monitor, and tell me if baby cries...)

I did some of these things too and I think it really helped. A lower point was when the new wore off and I was really tired. It got better though. And it isn't all hard -- it is really sweet to see your older child cuddling the younger! (As long as that isn't followed by a poke in the eye ).