Did we do the right thing?

I just don't know. . .
My sis just had a baby 5 days ago. The new babe isn't sleeping well, of course. Sis and BIL have been putting her in the carseat in between them on the bed during the night and she sleeps much better. I was talking to SIL today and updated her on the new baby (and mentioned that she was sleeping much better now, etc). SIL mentioned this research study about how it is very dangerous to sleep in carseat, etc. She told sis and BIL (and my name was associated with it). They got in a big huff over it and didn't appreciate being told what to do. . .

Would you have told them?

[DCJenn]

Re: Did we do the right thing?

My theory is information is never a bad thing. If SIL was concerned, there are ways to approach it without coming across as judgmental. But, of course, exhausted parents of a 5 day-old baby are probably pretty close to hysterical at this point anyway.

Can you call her and say, "look, I apologize that SIL got huffy w/ you. She's overly concerned." You can tell you Sis exactly how you DO feel about the carseat thing and go from there.

Jenn

[migirl]

Re: Did we do the right thing?

Huh. I honestly didn't know that sleeping in a carseat was associated with any risks (DS spent lots of time sleeping in his carseat when he was an infant!), so I guess if it had been me I would want someone to tell me.

[GrayMatterWife]

Re: Did we do the right thing?

Huh. I honestly didn't know that sleeping in a carseat was associated with any risks (DS spent lots of time sleeping in his carseat when he was an infant!), so I guess if it had been me I would want someone to tell me.

I didn't even know that putting them in a carseat helped them sleep! I just put him in the bed and turned out the lights...and prayed for silence. I am a bad mom.

[SuzySunshine]

Re: Did we do the right thing?

We just completed our car seat safety class and that was one thing they did point out to us. Said extended exposure in that position when sleeping could cause issues because if the babie's not at the point where they're sitting up on their own their lungs/body isn't ready to be sleeping/breathing in that position. With that said I have a good friend who would take her child out of the car and put the whole car set in the crib if he was sleeping when they got home.

:huh:

I think giving parenting advice to first time parents is hard, I think everyone is going to be a little defensive about how they're doing things and at 5 days old they are probably just happy to be getting some sleep.

Re: Did we do the right thing?

I know many people who let their kids sleep in car seats, and I am guilty too. I have let my kids nap in the car seat if they fell asleep while we were driving somewhere. But to put it in the bed? Or in the crib? That is just crazy talk. You wonder why people have problems with their kids sleeping through the night, even at 9 months or a year. It's because of crap like that. Put them in a bed and let them figure it out. As the parent of a now 4-day-old, I too am suffering from lack of sleep. DS2 seems to sleep just fine when you lay him on your held together legs. But I am not going to attempt to sleep like that. Wouldn't turn out well at all. So why would you put him in a car seat?

[DCJenn]

Re: Did we do the right thing?

Hey- congrats Ros!!!

Jenn

[SuzySunshine]

Re: Did we do the right thing?

How did that sneak in here - congrats Ros!

Re: Did we do the right thing?

Hey, it was relevant to the topic And thanks.

Re: Did we do the right thing?

Congrats, Roscablo!

Re: Did we do the right thing?

Count me in, I'm officially a bad mom. I did the occassional car-seat-in-the-crib at night, I didn't know about the SIDS thing... (So that's why I didn't get Mother of the Year that year.) But I do now have great sleepers, both at night and for naps. I don't think the car seat had much to do with that either way.

Yes, I do wish someone would have told me. Yes, I probably would have been pissy about it.

Side story: I was stopped at Costco one day by a hysterical lady when she noticed my two 2-year olds standing up in the cart. She gave me a heart-felt mini-lecture about being safe and I glared at her and marched away.

In the next isle with my heart pumping and my pride injured I wanted to hate her but it dawned on me that perhaps she was a guardian angel and had to take drastic measures because I just wasn't listening/seeing the other signs they were sending me.

Cheesy yes, but... who knows?!

[PrincessFiona]

Re: Did we do the right thing?

I think that if you aren't having your child in the carseat constantly it just isn't that big of a deal.

We have never been habitual car seat abusers, but we did have a few times when one of the babes had finally fallen asleep after a very cranky time where we brought the carseat into the house and let them sleep until they woke up.

It's like anything else....done within reasonable boundaries it just isn't that big of a deal.

The risk of sids has been associated with baby sleeping on their tummy, baby sleeping on their side, co-sleeping, genetics, smoking parents, drinking mom...a lot of things and to some degree there is a bit of Zeitgeist that goes along with the "what causes it". When Andrew was born we were told to have him sleep on his tummy. With Amanda she was to sleep on her side and we had to alternate sides when she woke up to nurse and with Alex...they said "on his back only and no co-sleeping".

I don't think the new parents are putting their baby at an undo risk...It might be best to sympathize and talk about your own struggles with sleep issues and then offer some helpful ways that you were able to get your child to sleep.

I would only interfere in this situation if this is a behavior that continues and becomes persistent.

kris

[samssugarmomma]

Re: Did we do the right thing?

to what Kris said.

And maybe throw in a offer to watch the baby so the parents can get some real rest!