the loss of freedom

[houseelf]

Lately, I have been looking for alternate activities to do now that the weather is turning cooler. In the summer we spend our time at the beach, hiking, and generally playing outdoors. Winter activities fail to appeal to me because they lack that spontaneous, outdoorsy feel. Nonetheless, I've been looking for things to keep us occupied over the next few months.

So the other night I took my son to the library and I was struck with the saddest feeling. I will never be able to allow him the same freedoms that I had as a child. I would NEVER leave him in the children's section while I browsed the fiction books on the other side of the library.

It struck home that we live in an entirely different world than the one that I grew up in. My mom used to park me and my big brother in the toy section of Kmart while she shopped on the other side of the store. From about first grade on, I went to the large park behind my house alone for an hour at a time. I couldn't read time so my mom sent me out with a stove timer set for one hour! When my hubby was seven, he used to occasionally go to work with his dad on Saturdays and go to the movie theater or arcade across the street alone while his dad worked. Can you imagine doing any of these things today?

In contrast, I don't even allow my son to play out in the yard alone. I realize that he is only two now, but I don't think that this will ever happen where we live now. Our yard has a lot of traffic because of a nearby park and we share the yard with our neighbors' townhomes.

I realize that the press gives us a frenzied account of what could happen to our children when the actual statistics are quite low, but any numbers are alarming. I wonder how this lack of freedom will affect our kids? This is a really sad way to grow up.

Kelly

[mommax3]

I know what you mean, Kelly. I would never let my kids do some of the stuff that I used to do as a child -- BUT -- I am trying to not let my paranoia (fed by the 24 hour media) get the better of me. I think kids (and maybe boys especially) need unsupervised playtime and "room" to discover and feel like they are brave and adventurous. As my kids have gotten older, I am trying to let them have some freedoms within limits, but it is hard! When Luke went to the school down the street last year, I let him walk. I can't see the school from my house, but it is literally at the end of the street. Over the course of the year, I heard many moms in the neighborhood say "NO WAY would I let my child walk to school -- it is too dangerous!", but I also saw lots of kids walking. In this day and age when so many kids are obese and physical activity is foreign to them, I really, really want to keep a grip on reality and let my kids be kids as much as possible.

I hope that you guys can find some good outdoor activities for this fall -- and I hope you can find ways for Cade to let out his energy this winter! For us, the opposite has been true -- summer is the time when we get cabin fever because it is too hot to be outside.

Sally

I know exactly what you are talking about and it makes me so sad. I grew up on a farm in the middle of nowhere and I would guess that if I was raising my kids there now, they would have a lot of freedom.

But ... I have great memories of my mom dropping my brother and I off at the public park with our bikes. She would go off to work and we would spend the WHOLE day at the park playing, swimming, eating our packed lunch. I think we started doing that when I was 10 years old!!! I have such wonderful memories about it but I cringe thinking about what could have happened. It was a different world.

I agree that we have to try and not become totally paranoid about things and let kids have some room. It is hard. I did the same thing with letting my kids walk to school. It was around the corner where I couldn't see them but I was comforted knowing the crossing guard was waiting for them. Tim, the crossing guard, knew every child's name and I knew he was watching them for me and my kids got a taste of independence.

Good luck on finding fun activities to do this winter.... The library, toy stores, McDonalds (my kids' favorite! ), children's museums, the mall (especially for you in Minnesota!)

Robin