Tweens/Teens/Kids and the internet/TV/video games!

[PrincessFiona]

I've HAD it! I am declaring my home a no internet/tv zone anymore for my kids!

I'm not sure how it works for those of you with elementary school/middle school kids old enough to be on the computer, but we have entered meltdown city here.

My oldest lost his wii/gamecube over a month ago to discipline issues and it really improved his behavior to not be on it. But the internet is truly the bane of my existance. Here's an example from last night:

"I need the computer/internet. I have a powerpoint presentation due and I have to work on it. I have to have the internet turned on because I need to research and find pictures to put into it." (He has gotten wise to the fact that we have started turning off the internet when they work on papers so they don't surf the net.)

So forget that I have a huge issue with the fact that our kids are doing all of their research for projects and papers online and aren't even taught the value of doing something in the library anymore (I have a HUGE issues withnthis!)...but Andrew spent over 5 HOURS *researching* his powerpoint..which included him pretending to research it but visiting his favorite websites whenever we walked away from him. He didn't even finish the powerpoint presentation (which it turns out itsn't due until Thursday ).

I could scream.

We have done a lot of website blocking, but I'm sick and tired of playing policeman.

My kids need to learn how to use books and the library to do a report. I'm sick of the internet.

To top it off though, I feel like gaming/internet and tv time has made them less able to concentrate and write good texts. I'm a little discouraged because I think Andrew's writing skills have really decreased.

Anyone else have the internet issues?

Kris

[poky]

Re: Tweens/Teens/Kids and the internet/TV/video games!

Hmmm...

...any chance you can make the browser block *everything* except one or two encyclopedia type sites; if he finds he needs to go somewhere else for research, he'll have to ask to have you go there, or add the site to the list?

I'd hesitate to make them depend on books and the library; aside from the hassle of getting them physically there and back, if they really do have assignments like "make a powerpoint presentation", that's going to be exponentially harder working from paper books, if they want to cut+paste images, etc. Plus...don't they have computers with minimally-filtered internet at the library? You'd have to be standing over their shoulders there, too. Yes, knowing *how* to do research at the library is a good skill to have, but forcing them to do that for something like a powerpoint assignment seems like more effort than it's worth. Maybe if they have teachers who also think it's a good skill to have, they could come up with an assignment or two where part of the assignment is that you can't use the internet for it?

Re: Tweens/Teens/Kids and the internet/TV/video games!

DS just finished a powerpoint presentation last night for school today.

I check the internet history every time they get off the computer. If they've been anywhere they weren't supposed to go (anywhere but sites like webkinz, disney, nick, si kids, or legitimate research sites), they lose the internet for a week. Once I enforced it a few times, it hasn't been an issue again. I also told them even if they clear the internet history that I can still check where they've been, now I've just got to figure out how to do that.

[Sheherezade]

Re: Tweens/Teens/Kids and the internet/TV/video games!

We've got an internet gaming issue here, as well. DS is usually good about self regulating. He gets his work done, gets straight A's, does his chores, has a great attitude.....but now he's discovered Warcraft - Battle.net. He's on every spare minute with his buddies in town. It's killing me. I keep waiting for the boredom factor to kick in so he'll back off; I don't think it's happening. Recently, I gave him the chance to pick a few "gaming hours" in the day for him to play without me nagging. He picked early AM and pre-dinner. He can only play if he's done everything else required of him. Even with those parameters, I feel that the gaming is his ONLY go-to activity. Drives me batty.

We may be taking an internet vacation here as well if only to have him branch out from the whole WoW addiction. Luckily, the school is sensitive to non-internet families in our town and they always have an assignment option that doesn't require computer usage. We've never gone that route, but we could if we chose it.

[PrincessFiona]

Re: Tweens/Teens/Kids and the internet/TV/video games!

We started using a pandora's box software to check out where they were going and how long (and have used it to block certain things). I understand that it is also a social thing. Even my 9 year old meets his friends at some penguin chat website to play virtually together at the same time.

I also feel like the gaming/online activity thing is the only go-to activity, Angie. He's not alone...the 3 boys that he hangs out with the most are all exactly the same. We moms have had to really set down the law and force them to go bowling, skating, etc.

It makes me concerned because there are studies out there that show that internet use/gaming can rewire the brain and make children and adults have a tougher time concentrating, etc.....but beyond that I don't want my kids interacting socially through video games.

I also wonder too what happens if our kids don't learn to self-regulate with these things and go off to college. It can't always be me giving them their internet time.....and controlling how long they are on.

Andrew does well in school, but lately with the workload he has had in terms of homework and his goofing off time, I see him sliding....

It is very frustrating.

Re: Tweens/Teens/Kids and the internet/TV/video games!

I can see how it's frustrating! My boys just got their first (and God willing ONLY) webkinz, and the "networking" there is nutty!

Obviously I'm a few years from the powerpoint presentations, etc. so if you ladies would be so kind as to figure that out for me and then outline your plan, I'd appreciate it.

**I do like Heidi's rule about checking the history / removing priveledges. Although I'm sure the day the kids know more about computers than I do is not far off.

[mommax3]

Re: Tweens/Teens/Kids and the internet/TV/video games!

This tends to be an issue here too with my oldest, but we keep him on a pretty tight leash and are usually in the same room looking over his shoulder when he is online for homework....mostly because we want the computer back! He doesn't get online much for games, etc. and is only allowed to play video games on weekends. I have to confess, though, that the main reason he hasn't gotten into online gaming is that until recently, our computer was too old and slow to handle it. Now that we have our new one, I can see the issue looming.

Sally

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: Tweens/Teens/Kids and the internet/TV/video games!

What drives me nuts is that Kate actually started to write her assignements in IM-speak.

They were "too casual" as her teacher put it. REally???

Is that Pandora's box thing free? Kate is not computer savvy- but she has computer savvy friends who can teach her to delete her little history I'm sure.

For us, no internet in the room. If she gets caught with the laptop in her room, she's grounded from all priveleges for 6 months. She already had 6 weeks for this offense (our laptop doesn't connect unless you have a separate connector thingy-- and I have a special hiding place for that).

It is amazing when she is not on-line how much nicer she is and how much smoother the whole house runs. This last week she's been grounded (I'm looking for reasons to ground her now-- J/K, never lacking there) and she's been writing short stories in her room instead of going on line to "chat" with her friends about total and utter nonsense. It's much better, IMO. I would love to ban computer, but... it's too much of an incentive for good behaviors.

As far as gaming, I think we'll try to get a Wii, and then just not allow on-line computer gaming? That's our plan... Not much of an issue with Kate, but probably will be with the other kids.

[rainbabies]

Re: Tweens/Teens/Kids and the internet/TV/video games!

this is a bit off subject...but dh and i went out some time ago to a really nice restaurant. we had only been there once before...it's expensive!

anyhow, the service sucked and we were SO NOT HAPPY with the waitstaff.

the icing on the cake??? when we handed the waitress our debit card...she said, "BRB"

WTH? that's "be right back" for those of you not in the know.

i thought dh was so going to loose it!!!

sorry for the hijack!

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: Tweens/Teens/Kids and the internet/TV/video games!



That is.... HILARIOUS. LMAO, and all that.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

Re: Tweens/Teens/Kids and the internet/TV/video games!

There are several programs that can be purchased that record EVERYTHING done on a computer - every key stroke, every webpage, every mouse click. It also takes "snapshots" of the screen that can be looked at later. My FIL uses it to monitor my BIL (he's only 16, but needs the extra supervision)