No Birthday gifts

[Phoebe]

DD was invited to a birthday party where the invitation reads no gifts necessary. Would you follow their request? I love that they offered. I feel bad not bringing a gift for a 4 year old. How about something small and a handmade card?

[Cumberland]

Re: No Birthday gifts

We did no gifts until DD1's 4th bday. I really did mean it bc she has so many toys, and she really didnt understand that birthdays meant gifts until her last bday. She would have appreciated a handmade card I am sure.

[Sheherezade]

Re: No Birthday gifts

We have this at almost every party now. :huh: Usually, they ask for a donation to a charity in leui of gifts. Odd. (DH says we should send out an invitaion for our own daughter's party that reads " In leui of a donation, please consider a birthday present..." This whole donation thing has gotten out of hand around here! ) Half the parents bring a gift anyway. It makes me feel awkward. I always go half way and bring a card with something fun but small-ish. Mostly unwrapped. I'm not certain what you should do - let me know if you figure out a great solution!

[v-girl]

Re: No Birthday gifts

I would get a book. Books are always great!

[houseelf]

Re: No Birthday gifts

We tried this at DS's four year old birthday party. We felt sheepish about having a friend party at such a young age. We had no family around to celebrate and commerate his birthday. He already had so much stuff. As an example, we counted 27 different Rescue Heroes from kind but way-too-indulgent grandparents trying to make up for their long distance relationship.

Our request pretty much went ignored. Nontheless, the presents he received were very thoughtful presents that year: a balsa wood plane kit, tub paints that would be consumed, special books which were relevant to his interests. Now it is like plastic-palooza. (Seriously, he received four Transformers this year).

I get what the parents are trying to do, but it would be odd to show up without a gift because everyone else will bring one. :huh: I think that the book suggestion is a great one.

Kelly

[madeintaiwan]

Re: No Birthday gifts

Maybe this is because I have four children attending a variety of birthday parties but if I get an invitation that says, "no gifts are necessary" I'm like...

Seriously, if parents are asking for you not to bring a gift then don't. It's not about us feeling funny it's about the parents of the birthday child trying to teach them that life isn't all about "getting" and that the very best gift is spending time with family and friends.

The very most I do in this situation is have my child make a birthday card with a special note.

That's my :02:

Ditto what she said. I would bring a nice birthday card and a bag of m&ms.

[migirl]

Re: No Birthday gifts

if I get an invitation that says, "no gifts are necessary" I'm like...

Me too (and I don't even have four kids ).

I just recently went to a 2yo birthday party where it said no gifts so we literally went empty-handed. I was embarassed when I saw other people bringing cards, though. I'd say at least a card and maybe some other small, inexpensive treat.

[HouseofWool]

Re: No Birthday gifts

Honestly, I've put no gifts on invites for Caleb's birthday as well. Mostly because he has enough already and I don't want any more crap in my house.

I like the idea of a card and bubbles. You don't feel like you are going in empty handed and every kid likes bubbles...

[Michele]

Re: No Birthday gifts

I had a party for Daegan b/c we're alone here and I wanted to celebrate something....I said no gifts because I didn't want any gifts for him. I felt funny when someone brought something anyway. I didn't know what to say!

I think a homemade card is perfect....and if you want to do the small token gift, like bubbles, that's fine....and I think bubbles is a great idea because it can give the mom something to do if the party starts to get out of control.

Re: No Birthday gifts

ITA with Tara.

Honestly, I can't remember the last time we went to a birthday party where "no gifts, please" was not included on the invite. I think it's a refreshing trend. We usually bring a handmade card for the birthday boy or girl.

[GrayMatterWife]

Re: No Birthday gifts

I think the "no gifts necessary" is a poor choice of words. A lot of people I know would read that as, "Not necessary, but OK to bring."

A friend of mine handwrote in lovely cursive on her 3-year-old's invitation, "Please, no gifts! Your presence is the perfect present!" I thought it was a great touch. She's married to an attending but most of the invited children were children of residents. It avoided any concerns the parents might have had about "impressing" or "spending enough" on their SO's boss's kid. People could just relax and have fun.

If someone indicates "no presents," I don't bring a present. If I were to host a party and made that request, I would appreciate people honoring it, despite the temptation they might have to do otherwise.

[Phoebe]

Re: No Birthday gifts

The invite reads "No gifts necessary, just bring your bouncy selves". The entire preschool class of 18 kids is invited so that would be a lot of gifts. I thought is was a poor choice of words also. I have also gone to party w/o a gift and felt uncomfortable when everyone else brought something. I love the book and bubble idea.

Thanks!