baby fever

Hi my name is Lauren. I am from kentucky and my husband is a first year med student. I am beginning to get severe baby fever. Does anyone have any suggestions on when the most best time to start a family is during the medical profession process? When did you all have your first child, and what was your situation? Any replies are welcome. I have really enjoyed this site, and it is nice to be able to talk to people who have been through the things I am going through!
Lauren

Well

we are 25 and have been married for a little over 5 years now. We have a 4 year old and a 6 month old. We had the 6 month old 3 months into the first year of medical school 8O YIKES! Anyway, it's working out fine, but I think that the easiest time would be right after the 2nd year of med school (After USMLE step I). I guess another question would be..."Do you need to work, or can you stay home with the baby if that is what you want to do". That is the biggest issue for me. I am an RN, but I don't really like leaving my children (just my preference), so working full time for me would be a huge issue. Something else to consider is, you probably don't want to wait 7-10 years until he's done school and residency, so even if you have 1, will you be prepared to have more (for example if you had planned to try to have them every 2 years or whatever) Sometimes it's hard to just have 1 now, if you had planned on having 2,3,4 or however many. I know I didn't want my children 8 years apart. Mine are almost 4 years apart, and I tried very hard to have them closer...it just didn't happen that way. Hope that helps some! Good luck!

P.S. I can totally relate to "baby fever".

[mommax3]

I can also relate to baby fever, although I think I have recovered.....maybe permanently! I read somewhere that you are military -- this will definitely make it easier for you financially when you have kids. We are military too.

We had our first son in April of second year, so before Step I, but everything worked out fine. I had been a teacher and I worked up until Spring Break and then never went back. We took out some student loans so I could stay home, and fourth year I worked as a nanny and took my son with me to work. A lot of our friends waited until fourth year to have babies, and that seemed to work well, too. I am a couple of years older than my husband, so I wanted to get started earlier -- I was 26 when we had our first. Our second boy came along at the end of intern year, three years after our first, and our third boy was born about 8 weeks after we finished a four year residency, three years and three months after the second baby. Each one has been born in a different city. There have been challenges with the timing of each, but none were extreme. Do you live close to your families? We did with our first, but with the next two, we were 2.000 miles away. That support is invaluable, so if you aren't close to your families, make sure you have a good support system in place where you are, through friends, church, or whatever.

I obviously believe in having kids sooner rather than later -- my husband and I knew we would be poor and somewhat tied down during his training years. We decided to start our family then because once his schedule freed up and we had more money, we wanted to do lots of stuff and didn't want the needs of babies/toddlers to hamper us.

Let us know what you decide! Our kids are the best thing we have ever done.

Sally

Thanks so much for the reply. I would also not like to work when I have children. We are currently saving 200$ a month to better be able to handle having children financially. I would definately like to have our first child before residency. Currently we do not have any loans or credit cards thanks to the Air Force. So if for the last two years of med school we take out loans to better be able to have children it wouldn't put us to much in debt. This may be a silly question, but how much money would you estimate a child would cost for those first two years. I am very big on budgeting so I was just wondering so I could get an idea of our financial situation. Thanks a lot for your help, and I am so glad that I have found this chat room! I have so many questions and until now no one to ask!
Lauren from Lexington Kentucky

I don't know if I can give you an exact amount

because costs vary a great deal whether you decide to breastfeed or use formula, whether you use cloth vs. disposable diapers. Can you get hand me down clothes or baby items from friends or family? Are you willing to shop at garage sales, or thrify's for second hand items or clothes? We saved a ton of money using second hand items and going to thrifty. Also, I am using cloth diapers this round and I am saving close to $1000/for the year doing this. HUGE savings! You can go to your local WIC office and they can help you out with formula if you choose to go that route. Personally, I don't think having children (especially in the first few years) is that expensive if you are willing to cut corners. Hope that helps some! If you have any specific questions let me know!

Our first child is currently in the oven for a little over 6 months longer. We're in my husband's 4th year of a general surgery residency so 1.5 more years to go! His schedule is not going to be ideal for "family life" but we'll make it work somehow. . .it always does. Financially, we are not doing so well right now but we are thinking along the lines of we only have 1.5 more years left and then we are out. We are also paying our dues in the Air Force and I think this makes a huge difference. We won't have the monstrous med school bills to worry about post-residency. I recently found a job where I am teaching a few classes a week so it brings in some nice extra cash. The schedule is ideal because I will be able to hire a sitter for a few hours per week while I am actually teaching but I can do everything else from home.

We didn't plan *too* much. When you're ready, you're ready and you will make it work. Good luck and I look forward to hearing another announcement on this board soon!

baby fever update

girls,
I have been taking birth control for the last six years and i have decided to quit taking it. That way my body will have plenty of time to get back as normal as possible. Until that right time comes we have decided to just use alternate methods. We are thinking that next year would be a good time to start to try. I have endometriosis so my obgyn has said that I could have trouble getting pregnant. my mom has it also and it took her five years of trying to have my sister. That is where we stand right now. I have come to the conclusuion that God will allow me to be pregnant when he wants me to. I am still interested in any comments about the financial aspect of having children. We are mentally ready but financially I am not sure about. Scince my husband is in the AF we have a very ssteady income. I work as the church childcare and Mother's Day Out Director at our church so my job allows me to work and bring my child if we had one. I only work 25 hours a week but I really love it and the pay is decent. That is our current situation, so does anyone have any more advice about the expense of having children(the first few years of their life).
I would hope to be able to breats feed which I know makes a big difference. I am queen of thrift shopping and proud of it so that would not be a problem. Well any way I am just very intersted in this because I really feel I am ready to have a child.
Thanks, Lauren

[houseelf]

Lauren,

First, I am sooooo jealous that you are in Lexington. I LOVE U.K. Some of the happiest times of my life were spent in that fair city at the best college in the country. <tear in my eyes, getting verclemt >

Hmmmm. Do I have baby fever?. My husband just started inexplicably choking somewhere and has no idea why. I go to ivillage and calculate pregnancy calendars on hypothetical conception dates. I really, really want another baby but am waiting just a few months longer to try. My hubby, a third year surgery resident, and I are just in a survival mode right now. I'm embarrassed to admit this but we live paycheck to paycheck and really have to work at maintaining peace through all the stress. We are finally in a little bit better place and are enjoying one another again. We are enjoying our two year old son and have... sort of found our groove... for lack of a better term. Part of me is a little scared to rock the proverbial boat.

I am going to try to run a Spring marathon just so that I can say at one point in my life, I did it. Then I will turn thirty and we will try like crazy. I know that maybe I'm taking chances by waiting, but maybe I'd be chancing other things that I hold very dear to my heart by getting pregnant now. I really have no answers on this one. Good luck figuring this one out.

Kelly

Kelly,
Lexington is a really great city. I think it is beautiful, and we love the horses. I am very jealous of you because you already have a child a nd are already into residency. I guess our time is coming. Things are good with us also right now in the midst of first year. My husband just finished his first term block today and got a b in gross anatomy. He was very disappointed, but I thought it waas great. He got a's in the other two classes. Any way, since we don't have childen of our own yet I atleast get to have a job where I can work with children all the time. About the conception and due dates thing, I dream and estimate those also. You are not alone. We even have a list of all of the names we want to name our children. one thing that I am very fortunate for, and most people on this board probably are also, is that i can stay home and keep my own children i i wanted to (whch i do). I guess we will know when the time is right, maybe God will send me a clear message.
lauren