Finding a sitter

Re: Finding a sitter

I accidentally posted a duplicate question about sitters in the infants/toddlers forum. We're moving in July, and we have no friends or family where we're moving. So far, I've never had anyone but my mom watch our kids. And I am sitter-phobic.

If you have more than one kid, who watched your first child(ren) while your next was being born?

This is exactly our problem. I'm due in November, which gives us four months in the new city to find someone we trust! My mom will want to come for the delivery, I'm sure. But there's always the chance I'll deliver early.

[spotty_dog]

Re: Finding a sitter

I have a kind-of-related question: If you have more than one kid, who watched your first child(ren) while your next was being born?

I think about this way too much!

For me, it's a point in favor of home birth. Even though I'd still need someone on hand to watch him (so my attention could be free to focus on labor) all the scenarios I can imagine are less stressful if I don't have to worry about leaving the house and getting to a hospital "on time!"

I'd consider bringing my mom out to watch him, but when it's a 5+ hour plane flight, you can't exactly ask her to drop everything and come *right now* nor is it really feasible to have her hanging out for the month or more window in which the baby might choose to start labor! Not to mention, I don't think I'd want even my mom to be in the house during early labor. That was a really private time for me during Eddy's labor, in fact it was even not such a bad thing that DH was out of the house for the first 2-3 hours (of 8 total...)

So, yeah. I guess either way the perfect situation would be to develop a relationship with a sitter NOW and then time NextBaby's conception so he or she arrives while we're still in Phoenix!

Re: Finding a sitter

Not to mention, I don't think I'd want even my mom to be in the house during early labor.

I felt that way too.

For my second, she was late and I made it to the induction date. One benefit of that was that we could take Bryn to my mom's house the night before (she lived close by).

For my third, my mom was scheduled to come out and help a few days after my due date. I was hoping I would deliver before she got there. I just needed some space for that. My oldest two kids slept over at a friends house. I had asked a couple of friends to be "on call" in case the kids needed to sleep over. I asked when people were in town (it was near the holidays), had scheduled activities, knew my babysitter's schedule, etc. I made sure that I had signed up a friend to have permission to take my kids home from school. It is sort of exhausting looking back on it but everything worked out fine. I probably had more back-up plans that I needed.

Re: Finding a sitter

I made sure that I had signed up a friend to have permission to take my kids home from school. It is sort of exhausting looking back on it but everything worked out fine. I probably had more back-up plans that I needed.

Exactly. I'm on the list to be able to pick up Davita's son from school should she go into labor. Friends, friends, friends are key (for me at least). I can't have my mom come (obviously) and while MIL would gladly come live here for a month ... well, no one would be in a good mental place if that happened. I know I can call any of 5 or 6 neighbors in an emergent situation, and have other friends that would bend themselves into a pretzel to help out. I've done it for them!

[mommax3]

Re: Finding a sitter

When my 2nd was due, DH's youngest brother came to visit for about a week and I really, really hoped I would go into labor while he was there....no dice. I cried when we dropped him off at the airport. My ILs had a trip planned around my due date, and they ran into a weather delay. They called me to let me know and wondered if they shouldn't just wait until the next day, because if they stayed with their current flight, they would have gotten in at 2 a.m. I was *in labor* as I was talking to them, and I told them to get on that flight, whatever it took. They got in (after telling everyone on the plane what was going on.....my ILs are not shy people....someone they had talked to even called them later to see if they made it :huh: ) and got to our house via taxi at 3 a.m. DH and I left for the hospital at 5 a.m., and DS #2 was born 4.5 hours later. With DS #3, we had only lived in our town about 6 weeks, and I knew NO ONE, really. We had started going to a church, and I had met one mom who lived in my neighborhood and had six kids, and I had met the youth pastor's wife, who had two little boys. I barely knew either of them, and had never been inside their houses. But between the teen-age daughter of the woman in my neighborhood, and the youth pastor's wife, we made it through the two nights I was in the hospital. I am still a little appalled about those arrangements, but I didn't really have too many choices. Figuring out who would watch my kid(s) was one of the hardest things about having more children, imo.

Sally

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: Finding a sitter

Sally, your post just about describes me perfectly. Even now that I know more people, we've lived here for almost 5 years, most of the people I know have small children and busy lives. It's not like they can just come over and stay with my kids. :huh: I don't know any college-aged kids who could come and sleep at night, and I hope my mom can come in a better window so that she can be here when I go into labor. Thankfully I go very fast (under 6 hours from first pain to end) and so if need be, I'll go to the hospital alone. DH wasn't even helpful last time, so whatever. :huh: Or I may be tempted to schedule a C-section. Even tho' I hate C-sections, it just makes sense-- I could arrange for sitters, DH could arrange for leave, etc., etc.

Re: Finding a sitter

Friends, friends, friends are key (for me at least).

YES! Chances are you'll have plenty of offers from friends to help out. I even had a few nurses that I barely know offer to watch DS for us. Most people understand how difficult it can be to find care for the older sibling, so they are usually happy to help in any way they can.

One of the reasons why I opted for an induction is so that we could be sure that our sitter would be here to watch DS (the other was so we could prearrange DH's time off of work). Two weeks before my induction, I found out I was already dilated to 3cm so I was sweating it a little that we wouldn't make it to the induction date. We had a list of friends, neighbors and coworkers who could drop by at a moment's notice just in case but I still worried about bothering someone in the middle of the night. And I worried about how DS would do if we had to drop him off at a friend's house in the middle of the night.

[migirl]

Re: Finding a sitter

Cassy, will you come and babysit for me?

Of course, you would have to come to Ann Arbor...

[Flynn]

Re: Finding a sitter

Cassy, will you come and babysit for me?

Of course, you would have to come to Ann Arbor...

ME TOO!!!

Any parent would be LUCKY to have you watch their kids. Sigh.
So are you moving to the midwest anytime soon?

[houseelf]

Re: Finding a sitter

Cassy is right...broaden your expectations. One of my best sitters was a responsible teenage boy who had three younger siblings. Not a typical candidate, but my DS loooooved him.

Kelly