Enjoy It Now...

[ladymoreta]

My husband and I are planning to start "trying" in about 8-10 months, and we want to enjoy our freedom while we have it! We have a grown-up vacation (cruise) planned for March, and we are eating out and going to the movies much too often. Any other suggestions? What do you parents miss about being DINKs (dual-income, no kids) that we should take advantage of now?

Also, do you have any other helpful tips you wish you'd known before you started? We are paying off our credit cards first, and we should have a pretty nice savings by the time the baby actually comes. I've lost some weight, and I need to get back on track to lose a little more. What about vitamins - do they matter now? When should we start reading books about it, and which ones? Other random bits of advice?

Re: Enjoy It Now...

Well you should be taking your folic acid already, just in case. :tsk:
The vacation, movies and meals out are good ideas. But as a first time parent to a 7 month old, the 2 things I miss most: sex and sleep. So get as much as you can! I have not slept more than about 4 hours at a time since he was born (on a good night).
Reading can never hurt! All the pregnancy books have a "getting ready" section. I didn't touch a pregnancy book 'til I was pregnant, or a baby book 'til I had a baby, but then I am a little superstitious!
And be prepared for it to happen right away. Or for it to not....

[Auspicious]

Re: Enjoy It Now...

Smart! I think you're on the right track with vacations, eating out, and movies! Also sleep in whenever you can (actually sleep whenever you can) and I miss being able to try cooking anything elaborate/try cooking something new. Right now it's just try to get it on the table. Also any home repairs/fix-ups that you've been meaning to do will be much easier now than during pregnancy or certainly with a baby.

I think you'll have time later to read books with specifics about baby care etc. but now is a good time to start thinking about general parenting style and expectations. Talk talk talk with your husband about how envision the whole thing (even though sixty percent of that will go out the window once the baby actually arrives) and talk to your mom/parents about how you were raised, how they did things when you were a baby/kid, because that will unconsciously form a lot of your beliefs, a lot of the things you take as a "given" that aren't really a given and that you may want to change. (Assuming you come from sort of an average upbringing--when it comes to what my husband wants to change from his upbringing, it's "everything!") Now that I'm a parent myself, I realize how loosey-goosey my folks were in their parenting, for example, for better and for worse.

I actually like babycenter.com for a good overview of what the issues you'll face at each baby age/stage of pregnancy. I usually poke around there for sort of an outline of what issues I need to think about, and then if there's anything I think I need more in-depth info on, I can seek that out.

[madeintaiwan]

Re: Enjoy It Now...

Well you should be taking your folic acid already, just in case. :tsk:
The vacation, movies and meals out are good ideas. But as a first time parent to a 7 month old, the 2 things I miss most: sex and sleep. So get as much as you can! I have not slept more than about 4 hours at a time since he was born (on a good night).
Reading can never hurt! All the pregnancy books have a "getting ready" section. I didn't touch a pregnancy book 'til I was pregnant, or a baby book 'til I had a baby, but then I am a little superstitious!
And be prepared for it to happen right away. Or for it to not....

Yeah, especially the sex and sleep. Wait until you have 3 kids. Get as much sex and sleep when you can, while you can. In addition to YOU having to live on autopilot with an infant, having an exhausted resident spouse doesn't help such matters.

[Auspicious]

Re: Enjoy It Now...

Oh, and I can't believe I forgot to mention reading! I get to read almost nothing for pleasure these days unless it can be read in ten minutes or less (which is partially the fault of my job and not solely the baby, but still). If you have a few novels you've been meaning to get to, definitely do that now.

[Flynn]

Re: Enjoy It Now...

I'll also add any projects that need to be done over the next couple of years. Pregnancy could be tough, you never know, and once the baby arrives you won't get anything done...for years. Anything around the house that needs to be done or new hobbies/classes you'd like to learn.

I second the above. I'm really glad I "lived" prior to having kids.

I had my baby room done for DD about four months in advance and it was really nice to put shower stuff there or store baby gear in general.

Pregnancy can be very difficult physically and emotionally. The last few weeks can be extremely uncomfortable (weeks? months? ). Get help with the hard stuff but get things as ready as possible before baby. You'll thank yourself when you are sleep deprived and a good day consists of three meals for yourself and a shower.

I also will chime in with the READ READ READ sentiment. I FINALLY began reading things of substance (novels, books, etc.) when DS #1 was about two....I had been a mom for four years by then. I didn't realize how much I MISSED reading.

Movies and dinners out are fun -- take advantage of it.
Really talk to your spouse...make an effort for QT.

[DCJenn]

Re: Enjoy It Now...

Accept that change is inevitable as Tara said BUT

If you have any redecorating or large craft projects that you'd like to start and finish? Do them now.

If there are any of the world's classics in literature that you'd like to read? Do it now.

Other than that, nothing much has changed- we haven't travelled 'for fun' as much but that's more about finances and never-ending family obligations than it is the fact we have a 4 year old. We go out to eat as much as we ever did. I was not going to give up dining out because I had a child, nor was I going to dumb down my selections to places that have a specific kid menu. (we went out last night to the Belgian place and he had endive salad with blue cheese, apples and walnuts with a creamy walnut dressing- he ate everything but the apple peels)

We get tired earlier than we used to but I think that's also the full-time job, full-time parents in our 40's phenomenom, too. People my age shouldn't have babies for a reason. We're too flippin' old.

Jenn

[mommax3]

Re: Enjoy It Now...

Seeing movies (in a theater) and sleeping in would be my two recommendations. We weren't living large before we had kids, so I didn't feel like much changed, honestly, and we weren't ever DINKs. I do know that without kids, I would have missed more than I feel like I have given up. But I do enjoy sleeping in.....

Sally

[houseelf]

Re: Enjoy It Now...

Life does change when you are blessed with children, it becomes more full and rich. Don't feel like you have to squeeze in a bunch of stuff before baby comes. Live your life, enjoy every day, and don't let this change when baby comes. Our children grow up very fast and while it may be more difficult to do some things when your children are small you will not believe how fast they grow up.

I love this advice.

Kelly

[ladymoreta]

Re: Enjoy It Now...

Thanks! You guys are awesome! I love the encouragement, too. I hate when I tell people that I do want kids someday, and they respond "Just take mine for a day, and you'll change your mind!" I know it's meant to be funny, but you know...

Okay, so here's another question. Did you talk to your doctor before you started trying to conceive? If so, how far in advance? Should DH to come to the appointment?

[spotty_dog]

Re: Enjoy It Now...

Okay, so here's another question. Did you talk to your doctor before you started trying to conceive? If so, how far in advance? Should DH to come to the appointment?

I kinda planned to. I made an appointment with a local nurse-midwife for my annual exam in February, intending to ask her about pre-conception planning for us to start trying in March.

The week before my appointment I found out I was pregnant so we changed the purpose of the scheduled appointment.

[Michele]

Re: Enjoy It Now...

The new folic acid recommendations are higher....it seemed there was a change between Daegan and #2....my understanding is that it's closer to 800-1000 than 400 now.....still fairly easy to get if you make an effort.

Right now the only thing I really miss is sleep!

Re: Enjoy It Now...

Get any dental work completed a few months BEFORE you get pregnant.

[Auspicious]

Re: Enjoy It Now...

Thanks! You guys are awesome! I love the encouragement, too. I hate when I tell people that I do want kids someday, and they respond "Just take mine for a day, and you'll change your mind!" I know it's meant to be funny, but you know...

Oh, definitely be encouraged. I'll be the first to tell you all the things I miss about the old days (obviously ), but this has been a great year and I love the new life, too. "What will you miss about the first year" would be a separate post, but believe me I'd have an answer there, too.

[migirl]

Re: Enjoy It Now...

Okay, so here's another question. Did you talk to your doctor before you started trying to conceive? If so, how far in advance? Should DH to come to the appointment?

I set up a pre-conception appointment w/ my doc before we started trying to get pregnant, maybe ... a few months before? The one thing I specifically remember from it was that she made sure I was up to date on my shots (this makes me sound like I'm a puppy ), since there are certain vaccines that aren't approved for pg women.