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and so it begins

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  • #1

    and so it begins

    "When I was in your tummy, mommy."

    I'm hoping that since he knows he's from Russia and that "mommy and daddy went to Russia to get him" (not to get him because he was so cute or so x, y, or z because I've heard from too many adopted kids that it freaked them out and they felt like they had to live up the the x, y or z standard) it will all come together at some point.

    But today, I just smiled and told him that he wasn't in my tummy, he was in Larissa's tummy and then Daddy and I came to Russia to take him home.

    Jeez, this parenting stuff isn't for the weak.

    Jenn
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: and so it begins

    No one better to walk him through it than you.
    Married to a hematopathologist seven years out of training.
    Raising three girls, 11, 9, and 2.

    “That was the thing about the world: it wasn't that things were harder than you thought they were going to be, it was that they were hard in ways that you didn't expect.”
    ― Lev Grossman, The Magician King

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    • #3
      Re: and so it begins



      mine have been all about, "where was i made?"

      ds: i was made in vermont, mommy. whe will we go back?
      dd#1: well! i was made on the island. and it was hot. and mommy didn't like it there.
      dd#2: i was made in florida!! i want to go there to see where i was made.

      all of them: "you were big mommy. your tummy was REALLY big mommy!!"

      and they all have no problem whatsoever asking anyone they come into contact with, "where were you made?"
      ~shacked up with an ob/gyn~

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      • #4
        Re: and so it begins

        Originally posted by Auspicious
        No one better to walk him through it than you.
        I couldn't agree more.

        Mine have had all sorts of questions / misconceptions about adoption - a lot of them fed by crap they hear at school (sadly sometimes from the adopted kid!). One little girl in Jacob's class last year tells kids that her birth parents are evil spies and that is why she's been adopted - to save her from them. And then just the other day Quinn said "If we don't have enough money to take care of Matalin, we'll have to give her up for adoption!" (we quieted that one down immediately, but learned that the idea came from a neighbor kid who's parents SAY that as a way to get the kids to stop asking for crap all the time).

        Nikolai has landed in the best hands in the world -- he will understand the why and how, and take the best parts of the whole thing into his heart.

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        • #5
          Re: and so it begins

          Quote:Nikolai has landed in the best hands in the world -- he will understand the why and how, and take the best parts of the whole thing into his heart
          .

          Yep, I agree!!!!!! He is one lucky little dude.
          Luanne
          wife, mother, nurse practitioner

          "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

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          • #6
            Re: and so it begins

            Just wait until they get to the genetics assignments... (Mac adopted Kate via stepparent adoption, so we've been going through these crazy assignments that at times are just so very awkward to address...)

            Anyway, you'll know the perfect thing to say... We like to go with the "you are special because daddy chose you" approach. I know our situation is different, as is every single situation...

            But I agree-- not for the faint of heart...
            Peggy

            Aloha from paradise! And the other side of training!

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            • #7
              Re: and so it begins

              Jenn, you'll do great explaining things like "family" and "parents."

              He's a LUCKY boy.
              Flynn

              Wife to post training CT surgeon; mother of three kids ages 17, 15, and 11.

              “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” —Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets " Albus Dumbledore

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              • #8
                Re: and so it begins

                I have 2 aunts who are fraternal twins and are adopted. Then my grandparents went on to have 2 more biological kids, including my dad. The twins delighted in telling their much younger siblings that they were more loved because their parents chose them...

                I am sure you will handle what you tell Nicoli with grace.
                Kris

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