for parents of more than one kiddo

[HouseofWool]

So we are at about 5 weeks out from my due date and I am starting to get paranoid about handling all of the details. Specifically what to do with our 6 year old while I am in labor. Once the baby is here, I'm sure he will head home to take care of your son, but my head is spinning trying to figure out what do do with it all.

Because my parents live 3.5 hrs away and his mother is more than useless in a crisis we needed to come up with a contingency plan. I have laid out all of the options, but it all feels so complicated.

If in the middle of the night, call neighbor A.
If Monday-Thursday, call neighbor B.
If Friday, call neighbor A.

I have it all laid out and have started a rough draft of DS's daily schedule, but I am worried that I will miss something... I'm sure I am totally over thinking all of it!

BTW - this is totally me nesting. 2 days ago, I was up cleaning a ceiling fan I haven't touched since we moved in 4.5 years ago and then shampooing carpets that evening. All of DS's baby things have been located this weekend and sorted for what we will be reusing. Most of them have been laundered. (I forgot how cute the teeny-tiny socks are!) The baby dresser has been brought up from the basement and wiped down. My parents brought us the cradle that my grandfather built for his great-grandchildren and every single one of them has used it so far. (It will be tight this spring. I'm due in February, my sister is due in April and my cousin's wife is due in May.)

Soooo, back to the original point. How did you handle the older child(ren) when you went into labor?

[GrayMatterWife]

Re: for parents of more than one kiddo

So we are at about 5 weeks out from my due date and I am starting to get paranoid about handling all of the details. Specifically what to do with our 6 year old while I am in labor. Once the baby is here, I'm sure he will head home to take care of your son, but my head is spinning trying to figure out what do do with it all.

Because my parents live 3.5 hrs away and his mother is more than useless in a crisis we needed to come up with a contingency plan. I have laid out all of the options, but it all feels so complicated.

If in the middle of the night, call neighbor A.
If Monday-Thursday, call neighbor B.
If Friday, call neighbor A.

I have it all laid out and have started a rough draft of DS's daily schedule, but I am worried that I will miss something... I'm sure I am totally over thinking all of it!

BTW - this is totally me nesting. 2 days ago, I was up cleaning a ceiling fan I haven't touched since we moved in 4.5 years ago and then shampooing carpets that evening. All of DS's baby things have been located this weekend and sorted for what we will be reusing. Most of them have been laundered. (I forgot how cute the teeny-tiny socks are!) The baby dresser has been brought up from the basement and wiped down. My parents brought us the cradle that my grandfather built for his great-grandchildren and every single one of them has used it so far. (It will be tight this spring. I'm due in February, my sister is due in April and my cousin's wife is due in May.)

Soooo, back to the original point. How did you handle the older child(ren) when you went into labor?

Our Plan:

1. Primary plan: I would be induced on a Monday, exactly one week before the expected date of delivery. The previous Saturday, DS (4 y/o) would go to my uncle and aunt's farm. My uncle very generously offered to drive in (2.5 hours away!) and pick him up. My mom would drive in from Pittsburgh for the delivery, then drive out to my uncle's place the following Wednesday to pick up DS.

2. Backup plan (if I went into labor early): We have three different friends who would who have taken DS. If it was in the middle of the night, out upstairs neighbor (radiologist--he's around all the time--seriously, do those guys ever take call or work after 5PM?) and his wife would take DS during the night. In the morning, the wife of one of DH's NSG residents, a woman I know well, would pick up DS and drive him to school. By the time school was over, my mom could have made it down from Pittsburgh, and she would pick up DS. If, alternatively, I went into early labor during the day, the NSG wife would just come get DS (either from me at the hospital--we'd walk over to the L&D triage room, about a three block walk--or from his school). If you have someone pick up a kid from school, though, be sure to sign all the release-the-kid-to-a-nonguardian forms AHEAD of time.

Turns out--all my planning was unnecessary. My mom decided to take a couple extra days of vacation and come into town a couple of days ahead of time, and managed DS while I was induced.

GOOD LUCK!! I know this is very stressful! It will work out. They deal with this all the time at the hospital.

My big concern was that I would go into early labor, DH would be in surgery and couldn't get out, and we would not be able to reach anyone to take DS...and the hospital would not allow him to be there, so they would call the State and have someone from social services take him. I was freaked that, by some weird chance, DS would end up a temporary ward of the state and spend the night in a juvenile facility.

My husband told me that would NOT happen. He said he hadn't even ever heard of that happening to anyone before--that somehow, it works out. (I had a friend who lived through a nightmare scenario--went into very early labor, husband out of the country, no friends or family in town, she almost died and was completely incapacitated, had brought two kids to the hospital, social services called in, terrified kids...disaster...). He promised me: he knows the nurses in the ER. No one would call Child Services--they would find some way to get him out of surgery.

[HouseofWool]

Re: for parents of more than one kiddo

Thanks Abigail - it is nice to see that we are not the only ones with complicated plans...

I am planning on notifying the school and daycare of the people he can be released to other than DH or me.

My biggest fear is that DS has to come with to the hospital and will be upset by how painful/scary L&D can be... Stupid fear, but there it is...

Re: for parents of more than one kiddo

I'm pretty sure the nurses wouldn't just leave your son hanging in the delivery room to watch it all, so try to put that fear to rest.

We don't have family nearby, so our plans involved neighbors and friends. I had several neighbors that said they'd take the boys if I went into labor in the middle of the night, and Davita lives REALLY close to the hospital where I delivered. I had several (mental) contingency plans, including who I would tap to take over Quinn's b-day party if I was in labor during.

In the end, my water broke @ 6:30A on a Saturday, so I called a neighborhood friend and Davita. We dropped the boys with the neighborhood friend who took them to their soccer game & a family party until Davita was free, and then Davita had them until dh was able to take them back.

You'll be fine.

Re: for parents of more than one kiddo

I completely understand your concerns about this. I wondered how that would work with #2 (had mostly reliable family available then) and #3 (no family). I think your plan of having a few people on call is a good idea. It is hard to ask for help but I'm sure you would do the same for them. Good luck!