Adoption?

[DCJenn]

So-

not to be the buzz kill for all of you pregnant ladies but does anyone have any good adoption stories? We're pretty sure this is the route we're going to go to become parents so- bring 'em on, people!

Jenn

[SueC]

I do, I do!
One of my closest friends just adopted the most darling baby! They went through all the infertility stuff without success so decided to put their energies into adoption. They found a baby in PA whose birth mother had already given up one child to adoption, so they were pretty much guaranteed that she wouldn't back out since she had been though the process before. The hospital she gave birth in had excellent supports in place for her--the birth mother saw a counselor with each pre-natal visit. Anyhow, the baby came on New Year's Eve and they got to bring him back to their home state about 2 weeks after that. They were up there the whole time taking care of him, but there are some laws about leaving the state line so they stayed with him in a residence inn. Anyhow, he is totally healthy and just the light of their lives!!! It has been so neat to see this happen for them because they are just the neatest people who love kids and this baby is so lucky to have found them!!!

[Auspicious]

Most of the people I know are on the adopt-ed rather than the adopt-ing side of things, but when I actually think about it, I'm surprised at how many adoptive families I know. Most of them are very happy, and lots of them are the kind of families you can't help but grin when you think about them. I say go for it.

What kind of adoption are you thinking of doing?

[DCJenn]

We have no idea at this point, we're still in the exploratory stages. (mentally and physically!) We won't do anything until we get back to DC in any case. My husband is adopted. One of these forums has the whole story of how I found his birth family (as it was happening!) which was very cool.

Jenn

[PrincessFiona]

adoption stories

We've known several families who have had great experiences adopting, Jenn. The most heartwarming one I know was a respiratory therapist that we knew during residency. They had tried for 8 years to conceive without success. She worked on the neonatal unit and developed a special connection with a newborn boy who had been abandoned...imagine her joy when the social worker approached the staff about finding foster parents until they could place the child for adoption. She and her husband ended up adopting him.....

A friend of mine here was adopted and is also a social worker...her job is actually to place children in adoptive homes...I'd be happy to get her email addy for you if you'd like to talk with her about the process at some point.

Kris

[mommax3]

Jenn,

My husband's brother adopted a baby last fall and it was truly awesome how it all came together. They visited a crisis pregnancy center in a state that terminates parental rights fairly quickly (so that birthparents can't change their mind a year later) and put together a scrapbook about themselves. A woman picked them after looking at their scrapbook and three months after beginning the process, they had a baby girl! It didn't cost as much as going through an agency, either. My sister-in-law was in the room for the birth, and they took the baby home from the hospital. They have kept in touch with the birth mother, but she doesn't know their last name or where they live, so they are comfortable with that.

I also knew a family in San Antonio who participated in the foster/adopt program. They took the classes and said up front that they wanted children under the age of two (they had two older girls). They ended up getting a 20 month old and his newborn sister -- removed (along with some older siblings who were not eligible for adoption because they had a different father who wouldn't give them up) from their home because of neglect. They were truly beautiful children. There was a longer waiting period (I think 6 months) but it all turned out well. I thought it was neat that they were able to specify the situation they were interested in going into it and it seemed like their social worker really waited to place children with them until she was pretty sure they would be "keepers".

I wish you the best! We haven't ruled out adoption yet, either. I know there are kids out there that have no love in their lives and I have lots to spare -- but patience, well, that's another story! Maybe in a couple of years. Travis always says he has a "feeling" (and he NEVER says that) that someday he will hear of a situation through work of a baby needing a home and it will work out that way if it is meant to be. So we'll see.

I wish you the best and please keep us posted.

Sally

[Phoebe]

I don't have any stories to share about adoption, but I think it is a wonderful thing. Keep us posted as you decide which road to take.

Jennifer

[DCJenn]

Sally-

Were you guys still here when that girl had her baby at Wilford Hall and then left her? Rick called me one day from the nursery and was seconds away from putting us on the list of people who would have adopted her! He said she was gorgeous!

Jenn

Jenn, go for it! I have friends that had trouble conceiving (years and years of trying ended in no pregnancies). So they adopted a baby girl. Then my friend got pregnant, and they ended up having two more. All three children, the adopted one and the two they had themselves, are a happy, happy, well-adjusted family. Great family, and the older adopted girl will graduate from high school soon. You may end up having an adopted child and one that you give birth to. You never know.... but why wait? Just adopt one now and you can keep "trying".

Janet

[peggyfromwastate]

Jenn how exciting for you! That's awesome and I wish you the best of luck! I think many of us probably know lots of adoptees and adoptive parents- personally, some of the neatest parents I know have adopted their kids. And shaded the right way, hopefully the kids can feel special for being chosen. I'm hoping that my daughter, who my husband adopted when she was 4 and who has never known her birthfather, will view her adoption not as a rejection by her birthfather, but as being chosen by her real dad... I really really hope and pray that she will see it this way, and I will do all I can to present it to her as such. Isn't there a phrase about not being able to pick your relatives??? Isn't it cool that with adoption the parent(s) DO pick their children? I think there's something very cool about that, especially since my own wonderful conception story is that I was an "accident" Why my mom had to give me that image I'll never know!

Good luck with everything!!!

Peggy

[Cumberland]

i watched a couple episodes of "An Adoption Story" on the channel discovery health this weekend. the show was very touching. i had never watched discovery health before, but they had some other good shows.

I know three different families that have adopted babies. all have been successful. My husband has a dentist friend that adopted an infant from russia. The other two couples that I know also did international adoptions. On family has three adopted children from Guatemala. The got all three of the children before they were 6 months old. They are 7 months, 2 years, and 4 years old now. From what I hear international adoptinos are a little easier and do not take as long. I have extensive endometriosis and my fertility prognosis is not good, but we don't really know yet considering we have not began trying. Any way, we have definately considered adoption as a possiblilty even if we end up being able to have children naturally. Good luck and keep us posted!
lauren