Our terrifying night...

[Amiens]

I am in tears again! Uggghh I figured the more I talk about this the easier it will be for me to get over it.

Last night, I had a meeting for church to go to, and I got home after Emma has gone to bed, so Matt put her to bed by himself. When that happens I go in and pick her up and sit with her in the rocking chair. I really cherish sitting with her in her rocking chair. It's so sweet she wakes up for a few seconds, grins, and goes back to sleep. I only sit with her for a minute or two. It kind of gives me closure at the end of the day.

Well last night I did that, and then I put her back in her crib. I talked to Matt, and we did some stuff online- he talked to his brother, and then I replied to a couple of emails. I went to bed at about 1130 pm. Emma has been teething and I think she has a cold on top of it all. When I climbed into bed Matt asked me "Are you ok?" I said "Not really, I am worried about our babies- I'm worried about Emma, but I don't know why I am sure it's because she isn't feeling well, and then I am worried about our 2nd child because I am so much smaller than I was with Emma." Matt said "I'm sure everything is ok."

Well at 12 am I hear Emma fussing, and I get up and by the time I get to her door (it's not that far away from our room) she is screaming at the top of her lungs. I turned on the hallway light, it gives enough light into her room so it doesn't wake her up but yet we can see what is going on.

I glanced in her crib and she wasn't there, and I immediately saw that she was face first on the ground next to her crib, and she is crying so hard. I will never get that image of her on the ground out of my head. I had forgotten to put her crib railing back up, and she fell out of her crib. :''( I feel so horrible. I am thinking that her pacifier fell through the slats, and then she tried to stand up using the railing that was down and tumbled over the edge. I am so glad Matt was home to help assess the situation and not on-call, because I was a wreck.

We were able to get Emma settled down, and check her over, at first she only had a red mark on the top side of her head. We have no clue what transpired between the railing and her landing on the floor. She fell about 3 feet. I remember telling Matt, let's put her down and see if she can still walk. She walked around, and played. In fact she thought it was time to get up even though she was still tired. We called our pediatrician to see if we needed to bring her in for an xray or anything or if Matt could handle the situation himself at home. We have to watch her until Friday morning for vomitting, inconsolable crying, and last night and tonight they want us to get up every two hours to make sure she can be aroused from a deep sleep. The ped said the good thing is she didn't fall 2 1/2 times her height.

Emma didn't go back to sleep until 200 am, and because I was freaked out about her vomitting in her sleep, I didn't go to sleep until 3 am. Matt got up at 4 am to check on her, and then got up at 445 am to get ready and to take the bus to work so I could have the car in case things change. I woke up at 500 am when Matt left, and then pretty much for good at 6 am- I just laid there. Emma woke up at 7 am, happy and chipper.

Not a lot of sleep was received in this house last night.

Emma seems to be doing ok. Me on the other hand, I am an emotional wreck. I know I will get past it, but it just hurts that my actions caused my daughter pain. All I wanted last night was to be the one that fell, and I still wish it were me and not her.

Thanks for listening....
Crystal

[PrincessFiona]

Emma

Oh Crystal, I'm so sorry. I know that it probably doesn't help much when I say that accidents happen...but they do. This was in no way your fault and you took care of her immediately when you realized what had happened.

When Andrew was 10 months old, I unlocked the babygate at the top of our stairs to carry up laundry and didn't lock it back.....I even thought about the fact that I needed to lock it and noticed the vaccuum at the bottom of the stairs...recognizing that him falling could be catastrophic...but by the time I got the laundry into my room to put away...I had forgotten.

Of course, you know what happened...he fell down the stairs... I saw it out of the corner of my eye and ran towards him (it was like it was all in slow motion)...he was like a little ball rolling all the way...and I felt horrible. I remember that feeling to this day and he is 8 now! I think I cried more than he did!

Emma will be ok...and so will you! This is NOT something that you did to her....be gentle with yourself!!!!

I'm sending you a cyber-hug!

Kris

[Phoebe]

Crystal-

I am sorry for what happened to you guys. It is scary. Something similar happened to Avery last week. She woke up at 3am fussing. I rocked her back to sleep, but when I put her back in her crib she began to cry again. I knew she was tired so I let her cry a few minutes. In that time, she managed to climb out or fall out of her bed (railing was up). All of a sudden I heard a big thud and ran in her room to find her lying flat on her back next to her crib.

Luckily, Ron was home and we checked her over. She only cried for a minute and in fact Ron stayed up with her for 3 hours playing. I have been afraid to let her sleep in her bed ever since. We put pillows down in front of her crib and took out a toy that she could have climbed on to get over the railing. She has been fine, but I know it is a scary thing! I think as parents we will always worry about our kids.

Jennifer

[mommax3]

Crystal,

When my oldest son was about 9 months old, we were attempting to let him "cry it out" one night (our first and only attempt with that method) to end his habit of wanting to get up for an hour or so right when we were heading to bed (around 10:30 or 11:00). We were outside his door, waiting for the 10 minutes (or whatever it was) to go by until we could go in, tell him "night-night", pat him, and leave. I was feeling so agitated and my husband was almost bodily keeping me from going in until it was time. When we finally went in, here came my son, sobbing, crawling shakily toward us, since he had THROWN himself over the crib rail. He has always been tall and incredibly wiry and strong. I felt so horrible, and the "cry it out" technique was permanently relegated to the "never again" list for us. Of course, he was fine and has no memory whatsoever of that event.

With my next two, I am embarrassed to say that I don't remember their accidents as clearly, but I know they have happened, and that more are in store. One of the hardest things about parenting is acknowledging the fact that try as you might, you can't keep your kids from harm. The best you can shoot for is that you do the best you can, and some days, you can't even reach that goal. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Sally

Sounds like a terrible night! I hate it when stuff like that happens and you question your ability as a parent. I remember one time my one year old stuck an old suitcase key into an electric socket. He had taken out the night light plug I had put in it - the other socket had a child proof plug. I heard this scream and went into the room to see the plug had a huge black burn on it. I swear I don't know how he survived it. I figured God had just given me a huge break that day because my son was definitely shocked. It even caused the circuit to short and I had to go turn the fuse back on!

Sometimes things happen and you can't be there at all times but you do your best. I hope both you and babe are doing better today.

[Amiens]

Everyone thank you!!!!

It made me feel better to know that I am not the only one who's kid has either thrown themselves or fallen down or off of something.

I know being pregnant exaggerated my emotions by a power of 100. I am so sensitive to Emma, and what happens to her. You can definitely tell that Matt and I are first timers.

I am feeling better now that I have had a 45 min nap, and that Emma is back to her "old self" of getting into everything, laughing, playing.

Thank you again. Uggh I hope I am more relaxed with the second one.

Crystal

Oh honey, I know just how you feel. When my youngest Ryleigh now 2 was 7 months, daddy was supposed to be watching her upstairs. Long story short, he was on the computer. She crawled down the hall and fell down the stairs, 13 steps, caught her leg in the railing, I think and landed headfirst onto the ceramic tile below. Five weeks later, healed from the head bruising and broken leg she was back to "normal". She had a pressure ulcer from her cast that took a year to heel. Now she's as good as new like nothing happened. Let me say that having an emergency medicine attending at home did not help the matter. He said, "Oh she will be okay, we'll just watch her. My foot! After she wouldn't stop crying and would not bear weight on her leg I thought, "The hell with you, I'm going to a real doctor", LOL. Mothers instinct is 1000 times stronger than a physicians opinion.

I'm glad Emma is okay. Make sure you record the evnt in her baby book so one day you can look back at it and maybe remember how fragile they once were.

Trisha

[SueC]

I'm so sorry you had souch a rough night! Well, it sounds like every kid so far has hurled out of the crib and turned out OK! Both of our kids have done it, too. Our youngest did it a few months ago. I was downstairs mopping the floor--I had gotten up a little earlier than the girls and thought I could get some housework done. I heard a very loud thud and thought someone hit my car so I peeked outside to make sure the car was OK. I was almost done when I heard her crying and thought, well she's just fussing in her crib, I can finish up really quick and then I'll go get her. Then I noticed the crying was getting closer and closer. I quickly ran upstairs just in time to save her from falling down the stairs. She had jumped, fallen, or climbed out of the crib and by the way the house shook (we have an old house) I gather she hit pretty hard. Anyhow, she had had an ER visit the week, she had been standing on our dining room chair, tipped it over and went face first in our hardwood floors, so I really didn't want to take her back in. Since my 3 year old shares a room with her, I asked her if her sister went back to sleep after she fell and she said she didn't so I assume she did not lose consciousness. Anyhow, I felt a tremendous amount of guilt, but she was OK and these kinds of things happen to all kids. Don't beat yourself up about it--it sounds like she is fine and you took all the right steps to make sure of it, including of losing out on a lot of sleep to watch over her!

[Meenah]

I'm so sorry for you. To add to every one here, both of my girls fell out of the crib!!!.. They survived better than Mom!!! They are now 17 & 19 and very healthy & normal!!

[Rapunzel]

I can relate: When my oldest was 8 months (he's now 7+) his father fell asleep watching him on our bed ( I was out running errands). Our son fell about two feet from our bed to a soft, plush carpet on the third floor (ie it wasn't a concret slab - kind of a "bouncy" floor") hitting nothing on the way down.

What followed was a nightmare involving three brain surgeries spanning the course of two years. After being diagnosed with hydrocephalus he had a ventricular/peritineal shunt put in. The VP shunt caused a reaction involving cerebellar tonsular herniation (which is usually congenital - rarely "acquired" and almost NEVER prompted by a VP shunt).

He's OK today and the worst case scenarios: brain damage, decompression surgery (where they break up the back of the skull), and death never occurred. We were very, very blessed to have one of the best pediatric neurosurgeons in the US on our son's case.

[houseelf]

Kids take ten years off our lives, don't they?

Let's see, my first born has fallen out of our bed twice (we coslept for the first year of his life), jumped out of his crib once, fallen down the stairs twice (a split-level thankfully), had his infant car seat tip over on him as an infant when I didn't attach it to the base, and most recently, climbed up into our kitchen cabinets to swallow a 1/4 of a bottle of Children's Tylenol because he thought it was candy(my little sugar addict).

Now that I'm have recused myself from any nominations for mother of year for the next couple of decades, I know that I have never experienced a greater terror than the fear that my kid being hurt ...or worse. My little guy has shown me that babies and kids are pretty hearty. The bad news is that raising kids isn't for the faint of heart and may cause long term stress ramifications.

Thank God that all of our anecdotes are about the near misses. Say a little prayer that this remains the case.

Kelly

[PrincessFiona]

Speaking of horror stories....

Kelly, you reminded me of the time that Andrew was 6 months old. We were flying from Frankfurt to the US and we were going up the escalater. Thomas was standing in front of me with the cart with the bags on it and I had Andrew in his carseat in my arms. Somehow, the baggage cart got stuck on the escalator 8O and the stairs kept moving up. People and bags kept coming up but we couldn't get off. I was squeezed into Thomas and the cart and Andrew and carseat went flying out of my arms. I was hystericaly and was screaming . I tried to force myself down the escalator and fell and tore up both of my legs on the metal..while a man caught Andrew carseat and all.

After it was all said and done and a security guard had stopped the escalator and helped us all get off, I sat on the floor in the middle of the airport and just sobbed.

They do take years off 8)

Kris

[Rapunzel]

Well, all of the anecdotes were near misses but mine.... Unfortunately there IS the chance an odd minor accident can become a life threatening, nerve wracking, loooong ordeal.... I think that what I experienced on the mothering end of my son's experience has made me quite a bit more laid back and fatalistic about my children's accidents. (My son slammed his sister's finger in the door yesterday - nasty mess. She's going to lose her nail and soon.) Ah well, motherhood - not for the faint of heart.

[Meenah]

Thank goodness the worst case scenario usually doesn't happen. There must be a "baby fairy" who likes to see us squirm while our children are for the most part A-OK.
Luanne

[Meenah]

Crystal,
How is everyone doing? It seems we all digressed with our own stories. I hope everyone is OK now.
Luanne