"mommy can I see your penis"

8O 8O This is the question my 3 year old posed to me this weekend. Boy was I not ready for that yet! I try to be somewhat modest around him, but he hasn't shown any real interest in the whole "body" thing before. I didn't know what to say. I just told him that mommy was a girl and didn't have a penis like he and daddy and tried to divert the subject. Unfortunately, I had just stepped out of the shower and was in just a towel and he kept insisting on seeing what I had. Finally, I just said that there are some things we share and some things we don't and that is one thing that we don't share and quickly changed the subject by telling him that we had to go find out what his daddy and sister were doing. I don't want to give him the message that there is something wrong with his body parts but didn't feel comfortable sharing views of mine! He was just potty trained and so is much more in tune with the fact that he has a penis now (I spend most of my day telling him that it won't fall off if he doesn't hold it ) so I am guessing this is why the subject is starting. How did any of you handle this stuff. I imagine it will come up again some time in the near future and this time I want to be armed with a better approach then let's go find your daddy.

Tiffany

[Meenah]

I had two daughters!!! I'm not sure how I would have handled it. Being a nurse, I always used proper terms for body parts, and I answered their questions (as minimally as possible). I never answered more than they asked. I think I'm glad I'm not in your shoes!!!!!!
Luanne

At the age of three, I've told my children, both son and daughter, that "Mommy needs some privacy. Could you close the door please?" I would then proceed to lock any door that separated us. Even my two and half year old knows when mommy's going on the potty that she needs privacy. So when he does his "business" sometimes even under the dining room table, if he gets looks, he says "I need privacy." And we give it to him!

I had to chuckle when I read this post! My 3 yr old just recently asked how the baby was going to get out of momma's tummy?!

When the questions about why momma doesn't have a penis came about, I explained that boys have them and girls don't very vague, but his quesiton was answered. Then I did the same thing and quickly got his attention on something other than having a show and tell session!

With the baby question, I told him that we would have to go and have the doctor help the baby out of momma's tummy. Again, it answered his question and he seems Ok with that.
In a related story, one day he asks me 'what do baby's eat?' I answer 'milk.' He says 'I will share my milk with baby Colton.' (our next's name). I said 'well, he can't drink your milk for a while' Drew is still drinking whole milk. So he replies 'he will drink Momma & Daddy's milk.' I thought about it and figured he is going to see it at some point and might as well try to inform him, I said 'no, he will drink breast milk that comes from momma.' He looked at me and says 'Ok' End of conversation. He is completely satisified with this answer. Later that night, DW had been on call, she comes home and showers and he walks in on her and says 'babies drink breast milk' My wife was floored, I hadn't told her about our discussion earlier that day!
Don't know if this helps in anyway but don't feel like you are the only one having some great questions tossed your way by the little people in your home!

[Rapunzel]

Conversation between me and my then-five-year-old son around when my fourth child was born:

"Mom, how do babies come out of your tummy?"

ME: "Well, er, there is a 'special hole' that the baby comes out of when it is time."

"REALLY?! Does it hurt, Mom?"

ME: "A little bit, but the hurt goes away very quickly and we have a beautiful baby."

Five year old contemplates for a few seconds, then:
"Mom, is the hole the baby comes out your ear?"

ME (trying DESPERATELY not to laugh): "No, honey, there is a special hole mommy's have on their bottom that is different from where the peepee and poopy come out."

Son: "EWWWW, yuck."

End of conversation - haven't heard a thing about it since (in the last few months).

We've always been very, very open with our children - answering any and all questions they have in the most honest way possible keeping in mind two things: 1)they are emotionally and intellectually not ready to know many intimate "details" and 2)kids really only need the LEAST amount of information they are asking for at that age (in other words if they ask why boys have a penis I respond because that is how boys peepee - end of subject, child satisfied).

Sometimes the conversations can be crazy though. This took place between me and a three year old daughter who barged in on me while dressing (didn't lock the door because USUALLY my children respect my privacy ):

Daughter looks funny at me:
"Mommy, why do you have hair on your bottom?"

ME (Embarrassed and thinking I need to get that waxed anyway 8O ):
" That's what happens when girls become grown-ups".

Daughter: "Oh, so when I grow up someday I'll have hair on MY bottom?"

ME: "Yes, now please get out of the bathroom!"

End of conversation OR SO I THOUGHT! A few days later IN THE GROCERY STORE this same daughter says fairly loudly in the bread aisle: "Mommy, when I grow up someday I'll have hair on my bottom like you, right?" I wanted to sink into the floor and under the building at that point - there were a number of people within earshot of that question. I just kind of mumbled something to her about talking about it when we get home - not in the store and quickly left the aisle and paid for the groceries. EMBARRASMENT! Don't you love it?

When my daughter, at age 3 1/2, saw her new baby cousin's diaper being changed, she said, "Oh look- he has a little stick!"

We just told her that boys have "little sticks" (and later introduced "penis") and girls don't. That was one thing that makes us differnent. Super simple, but I agree with the other posters that less is more at this age. My daughter knows about the physical differences, but the intimacies of how babies are made in great detail will be laid out for her probably in the next 2 years since she's already 7 and it's time.... Definitely daddy and I will sit down with her for that discussion. She knows some of it through the simple "where do babies come from" books that are geared toward 4-6 year olds. These also have cartoon pix of anatomy that are not threatening to look at.

As far as "where do babies come from" wrt my anatomy, we tried to explain that babies grow in my uterus, not my belly because previously we had talked about how the belly is full of nasty stomach acids. This was for a discussion of "where does my food go" and "what happens to bubble gum if I swallow it." So we thought that the baby growing in a pool of stomach acid may be a bit scary. We emphasized that women have a uterus, men don't. Tell me if this isn't the most hilarious thing for a pre-med college student to say. My husband was in a basic biology course where they were going over anatomy. The prof was going through the reproductive systems. After covering the uterus, he asked for questions, and my husband said, "where is the uterus in the man?" That is what happens when parents don't explain these things to their kids! (He claims he meant "uretha" but I don't know....)

Finally, for delivery of our babies, we found most of the books explain the vaginal birth of babies. So, with our oldest, we explained the vaginal along with the pix, but also explained that some babies, like her, didn't want to go through the tunnel because it was so much work. They just wanted to be lifted out of their mommy, and so the doctors did that. My daughter was a C-Section, and I didn't want her to feel she missed out on anything by not going through the tunnel.

Oh well- good luck!

Peggy

Thanks for all the information everyone. It makes me feel much better to know some of you received these unexpected questions and muddled along like I did. So far the question hasn't come up again, but I will be much better prepared next time. I do think we are going to have to introduce the word privacy more often now. I'm glad I am still at the less is more stage because I am really dreading the "real" talk. Perhaps with my sons, that will be a let's go find daddy moment!

Tiffany

[PrincessFiona]

What a hoot...how did I miss this post?????

Yesterday, Alex came to me and lifted up his shirt and proudly boasted to me that he discovered that he had 'milkies' and that he would feed the new baby

What a great bunch of stories...thanks for the laugh, guys..

Kris