Questions you never want to ask:

[DCJenn]

Feel free to add your own:

1) Why is there water on the floor?

2) Why is there butter on your toothbrush?

3) Where are my scissors?

4) Where's the marker? OK, this is the lid, where's the marker? OK, where is the inside to the marker? How can you not know?

Thank GOD school is back in session tomorrow.

J

PS- all of the above were answered with "I don't know."

What happened to the cat?

I believe I've asked "Did you just LICK the chair?"

[GrayMatterWife]

2) Why is there butter on your toothbrush?

Laughing, out loud, loudly at that one! So been there...maybe not butter, but something pretty equivalent!!!

I'd add:

--The ever-classics: "What's that smell???" and "Where's the dog?" ...and, of course, the less-common, but equally alarming combination of the two: "UGH! What's that smell? WHERE'S THE DOG??!"

--"No, your baby sister can't have cinnamon red hots to eat. [PAUSE] ... Wait, why are you asking?"

--"What happened to Dinosaur [the pet fish]? Why is his bowl empty?"

and, my personal favorite...actually it is a response rather than a question...

--"NO! You may not leave your penis hanging out through the 'window' in your underwear crotch, so that you can 'see it easily'. It's not a storefront display case, advertising your merchandise! So, please, tuck that in, and GET DRESSED FOR CHURCH!! NOW!"

Of course, it probably wouldn't have been so frustrating if it had been DS I was shouting at, instead of DH.

haha! Just kidding.

We live in a condo. Our neighbors have to hear some of our exchanges sometimes. They must wonder what on earth is going on here.

[MrsK]

When my youngest brother was about two or three, we had some great ones:

"What's in your mouth?"

"Did you cut your hair?"

"Where is the toaster? VCR? roast that mom just made for dinner?" (Whatever it was that was missing was most likely in 30 pieces under this bed.)

And the ever popular, "Where's the baby?!!!" (He used to escape from the play pen. . . presumably to cut his hair and disassemble the toaster.)

[rainbabies]

Who's lock of hair is in the bathroom garbage? (Thursday night.)
It was dd#1 who thought her hair was getting too long. She's very(!!) girly. I told her If she ever cuts her hair again I'll cut it Like her brothers and she won't have to worry abt it. Ever. Again.

who spilled almost the entire (large!) bowl of apple squash soup on the floor and all over the inside of refrigerator?!!
(Saturday)

Ds did. Thought it was sweet pot, grabbed big ol bowl so fast it sloshed...and dumped everywhere.
I know dd#2 must have done something. She's usually the culprit.
Mostly we have 'not me's' around here.

I can't think of anymore right now. But dh got home at 2:30 on Wednesday...and between him and the kids being off for 4 days...I'm SO ready for school and work tomorrow.

[MDPhDWife]

Ha Ha sounds like everyone's having a similar weekend to mine! Just today I damn near stepped in a bowl of Cookie Crisp (w/ milk of course!) that was hidden on the floor next to the trash can. Rather than call the girls to see who is the culprit I decide to wait patiently to see who eventually comes down to claim their secret cereal. Sure enough, as I suspected about 10 minutes later Gracie comes downstairs looking around for it. :rolling eyes:

There's several more incidents similar to that one, but I've mentally blocked them out to preserve my sanity.

[HouseofWool]

Caleb is a pretty good kid who loves to draw. Mostly I wonder about what he has drawn. This is one of my favorites.

[rainbabies]

that is awesome!!!

ds is a great little artist. It scares me sometimes...I'm always wondering what will come out on paper!

[rainbabies]

So far the worst question I have had to ask was,"do I want to know where your socks, shoes and pants are?" after finding DH drinking a martini in his shirt/tie and boxers. Hep C incident with blood was the answer.

they really are like kids, aren't they?

[Thirteen]

I don't have kids, I just have DH...

"Why is your laptop in the middle of the living room floor?"
"What's that smell?" paired with "Are your shoes in here somewhere?"
"Are these clean or dirty?"

From my childhood:

"Did you touch him/her? Yes or no?" (the no-touching rule in the car)
"Where's your homework?"
"Did you lock yourself out of the house? Again?"
"What do you mean it's due tomorrow?!"

"Is that cat poop?"

[Momo]

The kids come running into our bedroom squealing/laughing hysterically saying "Laith just dropped a potato!"
To which I reply, much to my dismay:
" That's not a potato, that's a turd !"

(back story)Just a few minutes earlier he was sitting on the potty (for the 2nd time in his life) and because of his bickering ninny sisters, we had to get up...little did I know this wasn't just a get acquainted sitting session but a I am going to poop session!" So I had fun cleaning the carpet, while the older kids ran around talking about potato shaped turds.

We missed a golden opportunity, next time the girls can throttle each other because I am not getting him off until he's ready!

[Rapunzel]

"How did the chocolate pudding get on the ceiling?"

"Why does it smell like pee pee in here?"

"How many stitches is that going to need?"

"Did you feed your little sister the entire tube of toothpaste?"

In conjunction with that last one: "Why is there toothpaste smeared on the back of the sofa?"

"What made you think it was OK to push/hit/bite her?"

"Dropped a potato" might be a new euphemism.