Ready to pull my hair out... Ok not quite

[Amiens]

So here's the deal... I am sure what Emma is going through is a phase or a very typical thing for a toddler. I just want to see what you guys think....

THE ISSUES-
1) The last week she has been waking up in the middle of the night screaming: for 4 nights in a row she woke up at 3 am, was up for about an hour and then went back to sleep, we had one good night where she didn't wake up, and then last night she woke up at 130 am and screamed for daddy for an hour- of course we went in and comforted each time, but as soon as we left she would start screaming again. This hard for us because we are used to her being such a good sleeper. Plus with me being pregnant, it makes me very umm cranky!

2) Emma has turned into a picky eater-- well not entirely-- she has dramatically cut back the amount she eats, and she refuses to eat dinner when the time comes. We don't know what to do... Matt and I don't want to teach her that we are "short order cooks," but at the same time we don't want to her to go hungry. We know that it is our job to put healthy food in front of her, and it's her job to eat it. I know she won't intentionally starve herself, but it's hard (and frustrating) to watch my daughter refuse dinner.

The only "new" change that has occured recently (if you count a month ago) is we weaned Emma from her binkie.

The only other thing is she cut three teeth on top (now she has 6 teeth), but she is still constantly chomping and chewing on her fingers- her hand is practically shoved into the back of her mouth.

WHAT WE THINK IS GOING ON (just a list, not meant to correspond with the issues listed above)-
1) Separation anxiety
2) Cutting her molars

QUESTIONS-
1) What do you suggest for the separation anxiety? This the first time we have dealt with this.

2) Suggestions on getting her to eat dinner would be appreciated.

Feel free to add what you think is going on!

Crystal

Hi Crystal,
We have dealt with some of the same with Bryn.
I think the molars are probably playing a role. Unfortunately, it seemed like it took forever for the molars to come in enough to no longer bother Bryn. Have you tried giving her Tylenol or Advil before bed? I think teething pain is always worse for them at night when there are no distractions from the pain.
Also, has she had a cold recently? Could she have an ear infection? That was always a cause of night waking in our house.
When Bryn starting waking consistently in the middle of the night, we though she was having nightmares. I thought this because her cry was different than usual. She really did sound kind of terrified. We just tried lots of comforting and putting her back to bed. It took a few days. I can understand, though, that being pregnant you really need your sleep!
re: the eating thing. I think that is totally typical toddler behavior. Some days we would be amazed at how much Bryn would eat; other days we wondered how she was getting by. Maybe try giving Emma a good snack 2 hours before dinner. That way she will still be a little hungry but you will feel like she had a good snack before. This is a phase that will pass but it may take a couple of months (or more). You way want to look at the babycenter.com website for some advice on this. I get a weekly newsletter from them (for Bryn's age) and I see this topic on there a lot.
Good luck!!
nmh

Hi Crystal --
Here are a few links for you:
http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/toddle ... 86686.html

http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/toddle ... /9196.html

http://www.babycenter.com/expert/toddle ... /9340.html

[Meenah]

My girls both went throught the middle of the night screaming stage. My pediatrician called it "night terrors", whatever that is. If I recall correctly it lasted almost a month. Sorry you are going through this.
Luanne

I think the eating issues are typical toddler behaviors. However, I understand not wanting to be a short order cook. What I usually do is if my toddler doesn't want to eat at something I'm serving (either doesn't want it or isn't hungry) I wrap it up and stick it in the fridge. Next time he's hungry, unwrap and serve. However, dinner time is family time so even if he's not eating he has to wait patiently with a few Cheerios if necessary. If I'm serving something a little exotic that I can understand he won't eat, serve leftovers. The point is to not make her eating problems yours. You should not have to do extra work. For in between snacks, give her something nutritious and filling so that she won't be hungry again in an hour (boiled eggs and cheese sticks are a staple at my house). But of course, the thing to keep in mind when she just refuses everything is that kids at this age don't starve themselves. They will eat when they're hungry and stop when they're not so don't worry. Try to evaluate several days in a row. You'll probably see that some days she's a bottomless pit and other days, she'll eat she won't eat more than a few bites. It balances itself out.

My daughter used to wake up in the middle of the night screaming at that age also. It can be a variety of reasons but for us it was because she had to go the the bathroom and for some reason couldn't vocalize it (she was potty trained). We didn't figure this out for awhile and thought it was night terrors also but finally one night in the midst of her screams I asked her if she had to go to the bathroom and she stopped crying and nodded yes. Since then when she woke up crying, I'd take her to the bathroom and eventually it stopped.

I hope this helps and I know this is a difficult time so hopefully it'll pass soon.

[Phoebe]

Crystal-

Avery is 18 months and has gone through both of those phases in the last few months. There was a patch where she was waking up in the middle of the screaming and nothing we could do would make her go back to sleep. A couple times my husband let her stay up and play for a couple hours. I personally didn't want to make a habit of letting her think nighttime was play time. She would be half asleep and start crying when we left the room so a couple times we had to let her cry it out. Eventually she went back to sleeping through the night. Lately, Avery has been waking up with a gasy stomach and really uncomfortable.

We have also encountered a similar food situation with Avery where she refuses to eat or is very picky. It could be a control issue or maybe the Emma's teeth. We serve one meal for our family and there are some things Avery won't touch no matter how it is presented to her. Her refusal to eat meat and vegetables has been ongoing since we introduced table food. In order for her to get proper nutrition we have to compromise at times and give her some leftovers, some cheese or extra fruit. We always offer her what we fix first and try different ways to disguise food. Her pediatrician said her son, 22 months, hasn't touched a vegetable in 11 months. After hearing that, I didn't feel so bad.

I know both of those issues at the same time can be frustrating and especially when you are losing sleep. Do you have any of those teething rings you can freeze? . I hope things get back to normal and you all get more sleep.

Jennifer

[Amiens]

I have learned I need to take one day at a time. With each new day- say "Ok we have a new slate, and a new opportunity to have a great day" rather than dwell on "Oh Emma didn't eat yesterday" or "Emma didn't sleep great last night"

Last night wasn't too bad.. We gave her Tylenol when she went to bed, and then Motrin when we went to bed 3 hours later. We had done that the night before but she woke up screaming at 1 am, so we were a little leary to do again last night. However it worked like a charm! She slept until about 6 am, she usually sleeps until 645/7 am. So in my book she made it through the night.

As far as eating goes, tonight was way better than the entire week put together.

After I posted here I did a search on the internet through some sites that we trust, (Nellie- thank you for the links! Those are some of the same things we found in our search). We feel more comforted, and realize that we are doing all we can. One thing we hadn't tried was trying to include at least one of her favorite foods in the meal.

There is are a couple of good articles in Parents this month on this exact topic- Toddlers and Nutrition. The issue came in the mail today, so we feel it was written just for us. We feel 100 times better about Emma's eating now after reading what a "normal" toddler eats. I guess one in four toddlers get the recommended 5 servings of fruits and veggies. That's Emma. She loves peas.

Thank you for everyone's comments. It's nice to know that Matt and I are on the right track. It's hard when this is the first time we're going through, and we aren't entirely sure of what's normal and what's not. You know how our doctor spouses can over-analyze things (or their better half as well) It's nice to know also that I am not the only one who has endured these "phases."

Crystal

[Meenah]

Some of the best advice I got when the girls were little was to look at what they ate in a week, not a day!!! That really helped. The pediatrician said he had never seen a child starve him/herself!!!!!!!!!!!!
Luanne

Crystal,
I agree that it is hard to be a first time parent. So often, it's hard to know the "right" way to handle a situation. Add to that the fact that babies and toddlers are in a constant state of growth and change. What works for one month doesn't always work for the next!
I'm so glad that the Parents magazine had a section on toddler nutrition. We tend to eat "weird" (spicy or not to a toddler's taste) things for dinner and while we try to get Bryn to take a bite, I usually also offer something for her. In order to not be a short order cook (which I don't like!) I offer her two choices that are easy to make or that she can even help with.

Nellie