When is the best time to have a baby?

My husband is just finishing up his 3rd year of med school and is going into otolaryngology, which means we will be moving in a year, and his first year of residency will be in general surgery. I would like to start having children as soon as possible. Any suggestions on when would be the best time??? Laura

[mommax3]

NOW! So get busy, missy!

I am just kidding, but seriously....

I don't think there is a "best" time to have a baby -- and even if you somehow determine an ideal window, circumstances may not cooperate.

My husband and I had our first during med school (end of second year), our second during residency (end of intern year), (OB/GYN residency, by the way) and our third two months after residency ended. Guess which was most difficult? The third one.......who would have predicted that?

I think you and your husband have to accept that there is no perfect time, figure out what your goals are (career goals for you, do you expect to work or stay home, etc.) and evaluate the support system you currently have in place. I think the support system is EXTREMELY important, because you won't be able to count on your husband's presence all the time. In short, only you guys can decide this one!

Feel free to ask questions and bounce ideas off of all of us who have been there and done that -- there are many different approaches to parenting represented here.

(And welcome -- I didn't get a chance to post to your introduction! I am Sally, mom to three boys aged 7, (8 on Sunday! 8O ) 4, and 19 months. We are originally from Indiana but have lived in Texas for the past six years, courtesy of the Air Force. We did residency in San Antonio and are currently living in Wichita Falls. My husband has been done with his OB/GYN residency for almost two years, and we will be getting out of the Air Force in June of 2005. We don't know where we will go then, but it will probably be somewhere in the midwest. I look forward to getting to know you better!)

Sally

[Rapunzel]

Sally, you are just too funny! (ie "Get busy, missy!")

Laura, I had my first child before medical school, my second and third children (twins) at the end of the second year of medical school, and my fourth child during intern year of residency. None of those times were easy - I just can't tell you that it will ever be easy to be pregnant and give birth no matter the circumstances. Individual circumstances make these decisions so, well, individual!

Also, Sally was so very, very right in recommending that no matter when you decide to have a child make sure you have a good support system in place.

[houseelf]

The answer lies within you and only you. My only advice would be to try to avoid that intern/preliminary year of surgery. Everything else should be manageable. I would also caution you to look at things long term. If you want to have more than one child with some space in between, think about your age when you try for your laterborn children. Secondary infertility is a very real phenomenon in this country. (Sorry to be a downer.)

Anyway, have fun trying!

Kelly

Thank you everyone for your advice- I love it!

I like your reply Sally and I might just have to pass that on to my husband, but I think he would like to wait until he is in residency so I can stay home with the children- me too! But, I can't wait until I can.

Like you said, get busy, and I would like to have a lot of children, so I will be quite busy!

Thanks again for your replies and keep them coming!

I love the advice because I am only 22, so I could use a lot!

Like others said, individual circumstances make everyone's choices different.
I agree about the support system -- very important. If you aren't near family or friends, you will want to have other moms to interact with and rely on. And with ENT being so competititve there is probably a good chance you will have to move from your current location.
Our daughter was born at the beginning of my husband's 4th year. It was a perfect time for us. I was able to take 3 months off work then he took 3 months off (combined 3rd and 4th yr vacation time) to stay home so our daughter wasn't in daycare until 6 months.
I think that the intern surgical year could be pretty tough! (But not impossible, either).
Nellie

[Michele]

This subject pops up a lot!

Michele

Laura,

I wish you the best with your decision. Only you and your husband will know when the time is right. Until then, have fun trying!!!!

This is a good topic, and one that's been on my mind lately. My husband is military, nearly finished with residency, and about to go out on his first billet as a fully trained doc. We're in our late 20s. I completed grad school a couple of years ago. From an outsider's perspective, we probably look like we are the ideal pair to start working on a family! I asked my mother how I would know when we should start thinking about having a baby, and she just laughed and told me that there is no perfect time. For me, the consummate planner, that's a frustrating (yet humorous) answer! I love to schedule things out neatly, so of course that's why I'm even thinking about this now, when I'm nowhere near ready (I think). I was thinking that we'd try to get through two years of our three year assignment and then start working on it, but I guess anything could happen.

Thanks for all of the advice- We are pregnant!
I guess the fourth year of medical school will be the best time for us because we are pregnant now. I am due in Jan. We are so excited!

[houseelf]

congratulations!!!!

When are you due?

This is great news!

Kelly

[Rapunzel]

Congratulations, Laura!

[mommax3]

Congratulations!!!! I am so happy for you. Have a happy and healthy nine months.

Sally

Congratulations Laura!!!!!

Great news. Obviously the perfect time for you to have a baby!

Robin

[Michele]

Congratulations!

Michele