Guardianship

[SueC]

I'm trying to get our affairs in order before we leave town and was wondering if anyone knew much about guardianship issues. We've decided who we want to appoint as guardians to the girls, but do I actually have to get an attorney to draw up papers, or can I just let it be known and leave it at that? Also, can I just determine who would take care of the girls, or do I have to go as far as draw up a will for things like our house and cars? I'll probably search the internet this afternoon for resources but was hoping someone could point me in the right direction.
Thanks!

Sue,
I don't know the answer to your question but can tell you what we did. We do have wills and part of that indicates who we would want as legal guardian for our daughter. I can't remember if that is a separate document or not. We had a lawyer complete all the papers. I imagine there should be a way you can do this yourself. I have a book of 101 Legal Forms that I have used for various business things and it probably has papers in it for a will. I would check in the book section of an office supply store. Whatever you decide you should probably have everything signed by a notary public as well (if you go to a lawyer they will do this with you). You should have a copy for yourself and give one to whomever you want as guardian and maybe have one in a safe deposit box as well. We have spare copies with our lawyer and made my family aware of this.
Depending on your family situation, letting your wishes be known may not be sufficient. The last thing you would want is some sort of custody fight between family members with your spoken words being the only thing anyone has to go on. (I hope that doesn't sound like fear-mongering but that is why we chose to have a lawyer do our wills).

[SueC]

Yeah, that is the main reason why I'm trying to get this sorted out. Both sets of grandparents love our girls dearly and they have an amicable relationship but when it comes down to the girls I would hate for some bitter custody dispute to happen. And while both sets of grandparents are terrific, there are some very important reasons why they need to go to one set over the other. I will look for a resources such as you mentioned--I want it to be a simple process and don't have the time or money to have a lawyer do it.

Sue,

I know it may seem like an unnecessary undertaking, but it may be in your best interest and the best interest of your family to have a lawyer draft your will. The main reason for not relying on the forms you may find on the internet or in the library is that law governing wills is different in every state. States have different requirements for what must be included and who must sign a will. If you plan to relocate anytime in the near future, this may also have an impact on how your will is drafted.

If you chose not to have a will, you are basically leaving it up to state law to determine what will happen. The guardianship issue will also vary by state. Although this is a difficult issue to deal with, it is one that needs to be taken care of.

It shouldn't cost too much for a lawyer to prepare wills for you and your husband, and probably won't take a great deal of time either. Check with the Bar Association in your area. They usually have free lawyer referral services.

If you do use forms, make sure they are specific to the state you live in and the state where your property is located. Also make sure they are properly signed exactly as required by the instructions. If not, they may not be effective to carry out your wishes.

This information should not in any way be construed as legal advice of any sort. This is a personal decision, and one you must make on your own, but I wanted to pass along this information.

Emily

[SueC]

Thanks Emily, I didn't even think about the issue of state law. Maybe I will contact a lawyer.

Sue, don't die, please!!!!!!

[Meenah]

We also used a lawyer. I wanted to make sure what we wanted was what would happen. It doesn't matter for guardiaship now for me, because Caroline turned 18 TODAY. Amy is 19. Time flies.
Luanne

[Rapunzel]

Sue, don't die, please!!!!!!

OK, this is a serious subject, but that just cracked me up!

[mommax3]

Luanne, Joel (my middle son) turned 5 today, too! He and Caroline are brithday buddies!

Sally

EmilyAnn, you make some great points! I feel like I should have put a big disclaimer on my response -- this is ONLY what I did and I don't know much about it!!

Sue, I talked to my hubby about this last night and we both agreed that it was time and money well spent because it brought us a huge amount of comfort to know this was taken care of. It was one of those things we had been meaning to do....and putting off. In the prior copy of our will (before kids) we had some clause about "if we have children before doing another will, so and so will be the guardian". We knew we needed to change that and once we had it taken care of we were so relieved.

The time committment was low -- maybe a few hours. The hardest thing was dealing with Eric's schedule and keeping him awake during the meetings (one to discuss specifics, one to sign papers) with the lawyer. The $$$ investment got us a little more but it wasn't too bad. I think we paid around $300 and that was with a downtown expensive type lawyer (yes, on purpose; long story).

A friend of mine is a huge Suzy Orman fan and says that she talks about the importance of a will and having specific things in it. Sorry, "things" is about as specific as I can get! I don't know if she addresses guardian stuff -- I kind of doubt it -- but that may be a another resource for you for more background info.

Good luck!

[DCJenn]

My parents had some sort of thing drawn up when we were little, basically had something happened to them, we would have gone to our aunt and uncle. What scared the bejeezuz out of me recently was when they informed us that I was no longer ther executrix of their will, but their friend was. Not that I cared but this guy is older than they are! Finally, as they left last week to fly to London and take the QEII across the Atlantic for their 40th anniversary (kinda cool, huh?) they compiled everything together, changed their wills and put everything in one place!

Jenn

[SueC]

Thanks for the advice everyone! Since we're leaving in a week, I'll probably end up doing a quickie will before we go and then making an appointment with a lawyer to get a more thorough document drawn up. Gosh, I feel so mature putting a will together! It's funny, though, that since I'm so afraid to fly, getting all of this in order is a huge comfort to me. If the plane is going down (which it won't--don't worry Thu Van!), I know I'd feel better knowing that I had already taken care of this.

If you do a will on your own, and then later meet with an attorney, make sure you let her know so she can make sure that the will she drafts revokes your first will. Otherwise, there could be all kinds of problems.

It is great that you are taking the time to get these things taken care of. It is amazing how many people haven't done so. Even people without children should have a will. Under the law in a lot of states, not all of your property will go to your surviving spouse if your don't have a will. It is sometimes confusing to figure out where your property will go if you don't have a will, so if you make one, you are the person who decides where your property will go.

Sorry, like Nellie's friend, this is sort of one of my soap box issues.

Have fun on your trip. Emily