A's first black eye

[TigerLily]

I am so furious. I am SOOOOOO furious. And I think the only solution is to sit here and stew.

We were just at FIL's for his birthday cookout. My husband's brother has a son who is almost 2. Their parenting is exactly opposite of mine. They hit, yell, etc...yuck. Anyway

My daughter is playing on the couch when her cousin...(lets call him SH for short) comes over and hits her in the eye with this giant plastic candy cane. So she starts crying and I go over and pick her up and walk into the other room with her FULLY expecting that one of HIS parents will be right behind me to do whatever kind of punishing or talking to that they do. But no...nobody comes. instead SH follows us in the other room and proceeds to hit her in the eye AGAIN. This time, I just took the stupid candy cane from him and told him that it was not for hitting. Take it in the other room and tell his parents that he hit her TWICE. To which they replied.."well why didn't you just whoop him? Why were you coddling her when you should have been punishing him?"
And then just continued to the ignore the situation.
So my husband goes to SH kneels down to him and tries to explain that he shouldn't hit and they just said Oh he doesn't know what hit means.
are. you. kidding. me.
that is when we left. and I can't even imagine having her around him ever again. That is the ONLY solution that I can think of. Just completely cut them out of our lives. (which is completely fine with me) I certainly will not be "whooping" their child, and if he doesn't understand the meaning of words like "hit" then I have no idea how to talk to him either.

[diggitydot]

While I agree that you can't exactly reason with a 2 y/o, the parents aren't doing the little fartknocker any favors by not addressing his behavior in an appropriate way.

[ladymoreta]

Poor A, and what a little snot! He will have a life of being disliked because of his parents' lack of discipline.

ETA - not to judge using spanking for discipline. If done correctly, it can be effective for some kids. It was for me, but it sounds like it's not for him.

[TigerLily]

I have about a million problems with their parenting. I don't have a problem with spanking, but they spank him for crying...but not for hitting? And then expecting ME to spank him? yikes.

[GrayMatterWife]

As a parent who occasionally spanked (my OWN son--when he was younger--not OTHER people's kids!!), it comes as no surprise to me that a child coming from parents that advise to "whoop" the child displays inappropriate violence towards others. I am not sure what "whooping" is exactly, but it can't be sparing, specific and controlled corporal punishment. It sounds like someone paddling a kid with a belt or something.

Kids copy. **DUH**

And, yes, I don't spank my daughters. I don't know if it's a gender thing, but there have just been better behavior modification options for them (well, for my 2-1/2 year old...my other daughter is only 1!).

[v-girl]

My sibs and I (and spouses) would totally discipline each others kids, but not spanking. I would have taken the kid in another room and explained why what he did was wrong and then put him in time-out and make him apologize.

[alison]

Ug, I'm sorry. We were in this position on Friday when a child in one of my daughter class went up to her from behind and hit her upside the head. She was stunned, held the side of her face, didn't cry, but ran over to me. The child came over to us and tried to hit her in the face again. I intervened by blocking his arm mid-swing. The mom apologized to me, and then guided him towards the table where snack was being set up.

Grr... At 2 I really think they need to have consequences for their actions when they physically hurt someone.

[Vanquisher]

I don't want to get in an argument over corporal punishment, as I believe it only serves to reenforce hitting behavior. However, there are methods of discipline that can and should be used to stop that behavior, and the parents should be doing it. A firm, "no hitting" while holding the hand down and looking into the child's face while at their level alone or in conjunction with a time out, in my opinion, would be more effective.

[Pollyanna]

Yes, exactly what Heidi said!

[TigerLily]

I think that spanking can be okay sometimes. As long as it isn't the only method used of punishment. I think... however, I've never been in the position to have to do it, and I don't anticipate that with Ayla. I think that the most important thing is that the kid KNOWS why they are being punished. This poor child hits and doesn't even know what hitting means. I've witnessed him be hit and yelled SHUT UP at for crying. And then to witness him hit my daughter in the eye for no reason and not even be reprimanded was enough to actually make me sick to my stomach.

[PrincessFiona]

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