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A lesson from my 8 year old

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  • A lesson from my 8 year old

    This is a sort of brag, rant, vent at the same time.

    Andrew (my 8 yr old) has been working on writing a book for the last year. He had recently completed chapter 5 and the book to that point had nearly filled an entire notebook. This is, in my eyes, a huge accomplishment and something for us to definately be encouraging about. I told him that when he finished it, I would publish it for him (of course I wouldn't be running to Penguin books or anything....just a local company to make a copy for us). He wrote every couple of days and it took a YEAR for him to get that far.

    Thomas THREW IT AWAY last week and it was never seen again. Basically, he went up into the kid's rooms with a garbage bag to throw out old papers, etc and saw this tattered notebook and just tossed it without looking at it or asking (This is a chronic problem in our home and some of the other things that have been thrown away include $200 cash , the quilt that my grandmother sewed for me, a quilt that I made my daughter, a collectors item book that my mom bought me that cost nearly $100, my gel photos for my thesis...well...the list could go on and on.....) But I digress....

    I was livid, beside myself, hysterical, hormonal...I let Thomas have it.

    The next day, my son continued to look for his notebook and I finally approached him with the truth. He was devastated at first and then he said

    "That's OK mommy. I have faith in myself. I wrote it once and I can write it again. This time I'm going to change things because I have some better ideas" 8O 8O I had chapter 1 typed into the computer already and so he went in and read it to figure out where he needed to start. I bought him a notebook and he has started again. He told me "this is my dream, and I will finish it". 8O 8O 8O

    So that is my brag! I am so proud of his determination and the fact that he was able to get over this and actually start over. I honestly think that if I were him, I would have quit. He has really inspired me.


    Kris
    ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
    ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

  • #2
    What a cool kid!

    The same thing happened to Hemingway . . . I'm trying to remember the exact story, but I think his wife was bringing him his original manuscript and the suitcase got stolen at the train station and the whole novel was just permanently gone . . . I think. He describes it in A Moveable Feast--I remember being horrified for him when I read it. Anyway, Hemingway still managed to make his contribution to American literature, I'm sure Andrew will too. 8)
    Married to a hematopathologist seven years out of training.
    Raising three girls, 11, 9, and 2.

    “That was the thing about the world: it wasn't that things were harder than you thought they were going to be, it was that they were hard in ways that you didn't expect.”
    Lev Grossman, The Magician King

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    • #3


      What an awesome story....I'll have to tell him

      kris
      ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
      ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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      • #4
        kris,
        That is amazing, I don't have kids yet but I think everyone would agree your little guy is going to go a long way!

        Cheri
        Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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        • #5
          Wow, Kris! I can't believe how well he handled that -- it would have been understandably very upsetting. What a great attitude.

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          • #6
            What an amazing child....you have every reason to be VERY proud!

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            • #7
              Wow, he sounds like a neat kid!
              Awake is the new sleep!

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              • #8
                That is awe inspiring! I have tears in my eyes...

                In a world where most kids would throw a tantrum and totally manipulate a parent with guilt, that speaks mountains about his personality and his family.

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                • #9
                  Thanks....I told him the Hemingway story yesterday evening, and he got so excited When we sat down at dinner, he told our waitress that he was like hemingman because his dad threw away his book too and that he was going to be famous too

                  I think I embelished on the story though when I told it to him...I said that his wife had accidentally lost a 500 page book and that Hemingway had sat down and rewritten it and it had become a famous work of art


                  hehehehe Hey...I'm trying to motivate him!

                  kris
                  ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                  ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by lunatic
                    By the way, I can totally relate to your stories of things being thrown away. Is that a danger of the medical profession -- they just randomly toss things away so that it LOOKS nice and neat?!
                    So maybe that's it....we have had the same problem here (not not $200!!!). Luckily, it hasn't happened in quite a while. And poor DH, everytime something disappears he gets blamed.

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                    • #11
                      The whole throwing away thing is a HUGE thorn in my side! I sometimes find myself even going through our garbage before it gets taken out which freaks me out....it borders on crazy!!!! But if he goes upstairs and comes down with a garbage bag, there is NO WAY that I can let that slide...I have recovered expensive playmobil toys, books with a little tear on the cover (easily repaired by a little clear tape!!!), my daughter's quilt, teh $200 (and that I had to do when we lived in an apt. complex and I had to dig through the trash at 10pm using the car headlights to guide me). What I never recovered was the quilt that my grandmother made for me. I had it tucked away in a box, and she was dying....so I took it out one night and sat in the basement with it wrapped around me and had a good sob....a few days later, I went down and it was gone.....at first he denied it..then the truth finally came out...after all...it WAS just an old rag, right??? Truthfully, I still can't help but bring that up from time-to-time....it still stings when I think about it!

                      To me...I would never, ever consider throwing away something that wasn't mine to throw away. I ask the kids before I toss their papers, I stack Thomas' things in one corner for him to go through.....if I think something is junk, I ask first.....I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only one that battles this beast...though at the same time, I'm sorry that other people are going through this too.

                      Why do you think it is that many of us are seeing this in our physician spouses??? Coincidence? Personality trait?

                      kris
                      ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                      ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by PrincessFiona
                        teh $200 (and that I had to do when we lived in an apt. complex and I had to dig through the trash at 10pm using the car headlights to guide me).
                        8O 8O Wow! I guess I would do that too for $200!

                        Originally posted by PrincessFiona
                        Why do you think it is that many of us are seeing this in our physician spouses??? Coincidence? Personality trait?
                        Good question....I think sometimes it was that post-call euphoria -- the 30-60 minutes of "productive" energy before the crash. But that isn't the only explanation because this started long before medical school. A misguided effort to help out? I honestly don't know. I've just attributed it to the two of us having different styles. I would rather let a stack of papers build on the desk until I have time to properly file them away. He would rather open a drawer, sweep everything into the drawer and close it -- voila, all clean!! (Does my description reveal a little bias as to which method I think is best? :mrgreen). As long as there isn't "stuff" out on a desk, counter, sink, etc -- it's clean. For me, it's all about the surface -- if the desk, counter, sink is dusted/scrubbed underneath a pile of stuff -- that's good enough for me. You say potato, I say potato.

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