SAHM Ah-Ha

[diggitydot]

What the hell?! What an asshole. Dude has issues.

[peggyfromwastate]

Alison-- I'm sorry your teen years were like that. My mom was a sahm and I was never close with her either. It's not really a SAH vs WAH vs WOH--- it's all just priority as a parent. It's not always easy to get to know your teen--- and often it's painful!!! I still shudder when I remember the screamo stage--- "mom--- do you like this song? It's SO GOOD.". Screamo. Shakes head. But you do what you have to do!!!

Anyway, truly not wanting to start any SAH vs other option----- I was just struck the other day by how MUCH teens need that communication-- and how they really need someone available almost all the time bc teen tragedies and dramas and dilemmas happen at all hours of the day!!

And Ides??? Seriously??? Dude is an idiot.

[Thirteen]

That guy needs his mother.

Sorry he said that to you, Ides. He was clearly speaking in an assumptuous, ignorant way.

[MDPhDWife]

Ides, clearly that old fart has issues!

Peggy, I'm glad you posted this because I was just thinking about this the other day. In the last 4 years, DH and I have had a teenage niece and nephew come live with us (Different times but both from DH's sister). Now that we are living with my sister, I spend a TON of time with my 20 year old nephew. We also do the family dinner thing and often times we'll pick a different topic of the night or play an A-Z word game where a topic is chosen (ie food) and we go around the table naming a food that begins with A, b, c, etc. It's exactly as you describe, they're initially shell shocked but then you notice they come to LOVE the routine. I'm always fond of those times because I feel it gave me much more of an in depth perspective of my niece/nephew that I otherwise wouldn't have had.

I remember when our youngest DD started K and feeling like it was time to either have another one or back to work. Having those experiences with our sisters kids has convinced me I can always reenter the workforce later when our DD's have flown from the nest.

[BonBon]

Everyone that has older kids says this (which is totally contrary to what I always thought!!)...but there has to be a way to juggle both kids and career, right? RIGHT??? I love my kids to pieces but I. just. can't. stay. home.

Honestly, I don't know how you ladies with older kids juggle everything. Peggy, reading about your swim schedules makes my head spin.

Ides, that man is a jackass. WTH?!

[oceanchild]

Everyone that has older kids says this (which is totally contrary to what I always thought!!)...but there has to be a way to juggle both kids and career, right? RIGHT??? I love my kids to pieces but I. just. can't. stay. home.

My mom went back to work when all three kids were in school full time. She had gone back to school to be a teacher. Keeping school hours was what made it most doable, although my dad has nothing resembling a doctor's schedule.

And we ate dinner as a family nearly every night.

None of which is in any way diminishing the awesome job all you SAHMs do.

[HouseofWool]

BonBon, I'm with you. I don't know that I could really stay home all the time (ironic isn't it that I actually only leave my house to run the kids to and from school). I love my children, but I like them better when we have a break from each other.

[peggyfromwastate]

It absolutely can be done by non SAHMs too. Absolutely.

And SAHMs can certainly fail to establish relationships w their kids (my mom did for one-- she was never available to talk to me ever-- her paperback was always more interesting!!).

Just look at the members here on Imsn who balance it--- they leave me in awe!!

For me as a SAHM who struggles with it a lot (feeling like I wasted my education, that I'm not being a good example to my kids, that I'm not contributing to family economy--- these are all battles I fight mentally daily), interacting with these teens who don't have much interaction with their own families at all just leaves me thankful that I can be available to get to know all these kids and that dd the teen is happy to bring them home to "show off" her family.