Great post about keeping kids safe (stranger danger)

[SoonerTexan]

http://www.checklistmommy.com/2012/0...new-strangers/

[MrsK]

Thank you for posting this. The other day K1 and I were having a picnic on a bench just outside of the local children's museum. We saw a little boy just a little older than K1 run out of the museum and through the parking lot. Before I realized that the boy was lost, a grandma who was in the lot with her kids found the boy and brought him back to the museum ticket counter. K1 was confused and I was really struggling with how to discuss that with my 2yo. He doesn't understand uniforms and wouldn't know who to ask for help (but he does know that running around the parking lot alone is not the right thing to do). It didn't occur to me to tell him to ask another mommy for help.

The tip about teaching kids names for genetalia is a good one too. I was a little uncomfortable the first time my 2yo started using the word "penis" but then I remembered that a friend of mine used to be counsel for various cruise lines. Unfortunately, there are often suits alledging sexual abuse in the ships' day care centers (enough so that some cruise lines don't offer day care any more). She had one case where a 3yo girl testified that someone "put a ball in her woo". Even the girl's parents had difficulty figuring out whether she was talking about something sexual or something innocent.

Also, I'm working on teaching my 2yo how to say his full name, mommy and daddy's full names, and the name of the development we live in. Imagine if he were lost and someone asked him who is parents are and he said "mommy and daddy".

[Deebs]

This has some great tips. We have always taught our children to find a mommy. Everytime we go to a public place, I pull them aside and quiz them about what they would do if they were lost. DS once said, "I would just scream.". I really discouraged that until he got separated from us this summer t a carnival and he did what came naturally - he screamed - and discovered we were five feet from him but had all lost site of each other. It was incredibly effective.

We also tell our kids they can tell us or another safe person (teacher, aunts, etc) anything, even if someone tells them not to. We talk about these things frequently because I want them to know it forever.

If there is one book I could/would recommend to everyone (both parents and non parent, or is "The Gift of Fear.". The big take home message from the book is that we teach children, and ourselves, to ignore basic instincts in the name of being polite. After reading the book, I will turn the other way if I'm near someone that creeps me out. Even DH, who has really great intuition about people, read it twice and said he got a ton out of it.

[SuzySunshine]

This is all very helpful guys - I've been having this discussion with A a LOT because she says HI to EVERYONE and it kind of skeeves me out. I want her to be friendly, but not overly so. Off to do some more reading...

[ladymoreta]

Great article! Thanks!

[Sheherezade]

@Deebs. I learned to act on that instinct with unknowns when I lived in NYC for college and years after. It's one reason why I think outsiders think NYers are "rude". They're not. They are extremely friendly - but they won't let social conventions stand in their way if they are uncertain about a person.

We have always done the "look for a Mom" thing. Now that the kids are teens, I think a steady diet of Criminal Minds and Law and Order reruns is installing the necessary paranoia for their safety as adults.

[Thirteen]

Thank you for the article - sent it to DH - and thanks for the book rec!


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[moonlight]

This has some great tips. We have always taught our children to find a mommy. Everytime we go to a public place, I pull them aside and quiz them about what they would do if they were lost. DS once said, "I would just scream.". I really discouraged that until he got separated from us this summer t a carnival and he did what came naturally - he screamed - and discovered we were five feet from him but had all lost site of each other. It was incredibly effective.

We also tell our kids they can tell us or another safe person (teacher, aunts, etc) anything, even if someone tells them not to. We talk about these things frequently because I want them to know it forever.

If there is one book I could/would recommend to everyone (both parents and non parent, or is "The Gift of Fear.". The big take home message from the book is that we teach children, and ourselves, to ignore basic instincts in the name of being polite. After reading the book, I will turn the other way if I'm near someone that creeps me out. Even DH, who has really great intuition about people, read it twice and said he got a ton out of it.

Do you know who wrote that book?

[Deebs]

Gavin de Becker

[diggitydot]

Always, always, ALWAYS trust your instincts. Creepy fuckers are creepy fuckers for a reason. You don't want to hang out long enough to figure out why.
Too many people, particularly women, ignore their creep-o-meter.

[scrub-jay]

A male preschool teacher in this area just got arrested for (excessive) kiddie porn. He worked for a VERY elite and prestigious preschool for 18 years, beloved by many. They have not indicated any evidence of actual abuse yet, but the Feds are still sorting though massive amounts of evidence. It is awful and terrifying.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

The whole article is awesome!

The tip about teaching kids names for genetalia is a good one too.

HoW and I had a discussion about this once - what word/words do you teach your little girls? It's not as cut-and-dry as boys. Do you just use "vagina" as your over-all term?

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

The whole article is awesome!

HoW and I had a discussion about this once - what word/words do you teach your little girls? It's not as cut-and-dry as boys. Do you just use "vagina" as your over-all term?

Excellent question! Wise ones, please weigh in!

DH's idiot aunt calls it her "Bobby" like the baby word for bottom - I want to slug her. But I need to know what to correct her to.

[scrub-jay]

The whole article is awesome!



HoW and I had a discussion about this once - what word/words do you teach your little girls? It's not as cut-and-dry as boys. Do you just use "vagina" as your over-all term?

We say "vagina" generally. We'll teach more detail as she grows up, she calls it her "'gyyyyyna" but understands proper terms.

[MrsK]

My nephew somehow got "penis" and "tushie" confused. Drives me nuts.