Get me outta here!

[Phoebe]

I have to ask.... How do you parents do it? I thought one was bad enough, but two seems impossible!

I can't get out of the house with both kids in less than an hour. If you all had a videotape of what I went through this morning to get all three of us ready to run some errands, you would die laughing. My husband would also understand why I don't get anything done during the day. It probably took us longer to get ready than the actual outing.

My goal is to get all of us dressed before coming downstairs in the morning and have the diaper bag always stocked so we are ready to go. Do others have any tips on how to successfully leave the house before half the day passes?

Jennifer

No answer here...but I've been wondering the same thing!

[mommax3]

Jennifer,

First of all, go easy on yourself.....Ella is still so young. Things will definitely get easier.

Try to be as organized as possible to make things easier on yourself. Having the diaper bag stocked and ready to go, like you said, is an excellent example of that.

For me, the key has always been that I have to get at least a half hour jump-start on my kids in the morning......but that is really hard when you have a tiny baby, and even when I didn't have an infant, I couldn't always haul my butt out of bed early enough. But it helps a lot if you are up before they are. I would also take advantage of the times that Avery is confined (in the high chair/booster, maybe?) to dress the baby. You could either have her be eating her breakfast or she could color or have some stickers to play with while she is sitting there. The baby won't run around and get into stuff, so as long as she is content, you should be able to dress Avery.

When DH was a resident, we lived in a two-story house. Our bedroom was downstairs and the kids' rooms were upstairs. It helped me immensely to have their clothes for the next day and some pampers and wipes in our room, because that is where they ended up in the mornings anyway. (As it turned out, the clean laundry didn't always make it upstairs anyway, so most of their wardrobe was in the laundry room downstairs whether I planned ahead or not. ) Make sure you have things set up in a way that allows you to be efficient in the mornings......any arrangement that helps, no matter how unorthodox, is worth it right now.

I know you guys probably all think that my kids are tv addicts by now, but I would have been a basket case if I hadn't been able to sit my oldest in front of the tv when I took a shower. Our shower enclosure was glass and I could see my bed from the shower, so I would sit him on the bed, turn on Nick jr. , and dash through the shower. The baby would be in his bouncy seat, happy as a clam. Bear in mind that my kids were further apart (three years) than yours are, but the same thing could work for you. Gate your older daughter in a room with a tv (or put her in your room and close the door so she can't get out) and pop in a video, and you've bought yourself a half hour to get ready. Our bedroom in San Antonio was a total kid zone. I used to think that we would never get it back as an adult-only place, but about the time we moved, the older two became independent enough that they were able to get ready on their own, and our house now is only one floor, which also helped.

Now that you've gotten me started, I remember lots of stuff I used to do. I got my older son some of those interlocking foam pieces that make into a big floor mat if you connect all the pieces, and I would let him poke out the letter that was in the middle of each one. I would have to clean up the mess later but it was worth it because I got a few minutes to get ready. I did the same thing with Mega Blocks --- I gave him a bag full and told him to build me something.

Whatever you decide, try to work your way into a routine so that Avery, and later Ella will know what to expect.....this tends to prevent meltdowns, and many times they really long for a routine so that they feel some control over their lives. I know that probably goes without saying.....every mom with a new baby LONGS for a routine, right?

You will be a pro at this before you know it. My oldest son now gets up on his own, takes a shower, gets dressed, and helps me get ready for breakfast every day, and sometimes it seems like just yesterday that I felt like I ran a marathon every day before breakfast due to getting he and his younger brother ready to go. What was that ad....."we do more before breakfast than some people do all day" ? It was probably for some branch of the military, but I think it should be for moms/dads with small children.....it is SO TRUE!

Hang in there....hope this helps!

Sally

[Amiens]

Jennifer-

I second everything that Sally just wrote. Brigham is almost 3 months, and it is just now starting to get easier. I can't tell you how many times I have thought to myself "Ok we are going to leave at such and such time." and we make out the door an hour after that because of blow-outs, needing to eat etc. Having Brigham has made me learn to slow down a bit.

Just take it easy. You will fall into a groove.

Here is what I have learned in the 2 1/2 mos Brigham has been in our lives-
- I have fallen into a routine of sorts when we go out- as far as getting kids in and out of the car. I have learned to plan extra time just for that.
- I have learned to plan big grocery runs on days Matt will be off or home during the morning.
- We have realized the "art of one person errand running" is key (or with just one of the children)
- I seem to not use the changing table religiously as I did with Emma- the floor works great. I also keep diapers and wipes for both kids in living room, so I don't have to go clear to the other side of the apartment to change them in their room everytime.
- I invested in a used Boppy to keep in the kids room so that I would not have to keep shuffling one back and forth from the living room. (edit- I meant to say would NOT- I have one in the nursery and one in the living room)
- keep the diaper bag stocked in case you have to dash out at the last minute.
- Meals are quick and easy in this house unless Matt is home to help out.
- Made a chore list and divided it between the two of us, so Matt knows what I expect to be done: I have learned to accept that it is ok that everything doesn't have to be done every week, just as long as it gets done once a month at this point.
- If I am exhausted- then Brigham gets an in bed nursing session with me while Emma naps (he usually falls asleep)-- I sometimes get a good 2 hr nap from this.
- I get dishes done in the morning while Brigham plays on his gym or bouncy seat and Emma is eating breakfast.
- Some days we don't make it out pjs, and that's ok- we are all entitled to days like that. As my MIL would say "When you have two under two, a successful day can be considered if you can get them up, feed them and change diapers during the day, and back to bed at night"
- I also only pick 1 or 2 pressing errands and try to do them only in the morning before Emma's nap. That way the afternoon can be used for playing and relaxing.
- Once a week I pack Emma's lunch, and we head to the park so she can blow off some pent up energy. Brigham's food is very portable right now- ME!

About becoming a TV junkie- I have decided that as long as the program is educational or family-friendly (Emma loves Bugs Life and Toy Story) then watching it for a short time while I prepare dinner or what not isn't going to throw either of the children into therapy when they are 30.

[Phoebe]

I have tried responding to this thread several times, but so far I keep getting interrupted! This time Ella is crying. The life of a mom, I guess! Thanks for the great suggestions.

Jennifer

[houseelf]

Jennifer,

Last night at a Halloween party I ran into a couple who started the Ortho program at the same time that we started our gen. surgery residency. I thought of you because just like you, she had a two year old boy and an brand new infant. She admitted to feeling totally overwhelmed. She said that the secret to getting through the day was just letting things go. I tell you this to let you know that your feelings are very, very typical of this early stage and that it will get better. I'm sure that Ella and Avery are going to be great playmates within no time. Until then, here is hoping that you catch a break.

Oh yeah, I don't have two, but here is a suggestion that may help. In a time crunch, I just throw the munchkin in the shower with Dad or me and get us all hosed off. Separate bath times can become a luxury for the time starved. Hope this helps.

Kelly

Oh yeah, I don't have two, but here is a suggestion. In a time crunch, I just through the munchkin in the shower with Dad or me and get us all hosed off. Separate bath times can become a luxury for the time starved. Hope this helps.

Kelly

We do the same thing! Lately Bryn has been coming home from preschool so absolutely encased in dirt that she takes a bath immediately (she looks like she is wearing desert storm camo). But, on other days, this is a great way to get her cleaned up and keep an eye on her! I started taking her in the shower with me when she was around 6 months (sitting up on her own) because she loved the water and I could keep an eye on her. This was great when she started crawling and walking (very early!) for safety reasons. She would howl if I left in the crib or exersaucer because she wanted out to explore her world -- much happier in the shower with mom!

[mommax3]

I showered with my oldest all the time too when he was little. We had a separate shower and tub, so it was a little crowded and he had to watch out when I rinsed my hair, but we managed.

Our shower was right next to our tub, so when the oldest two were around 4 and 1, I would sometimes put them in the tub while I was in the shower. I could see them the whole time and they had fun playing while I got to have the shower to myself.

Sally

[Meenah]

Wow this brings back memories!!!! Amy & Caroline were 21 months apart. After Caroline was born, I kept a stocked diaper bag in the car with diapers,wipes, a change of clothes for each girl, juice boxes and snacks. I never had to worry about getting the bag ready, it was always there. Of course I had to remember to restock it!!!
Luanne

[SueC]

I wish I could offer more advice, but I absolutely sucked at preparedness when I had a toddler and a new baby. I can't tell you how many times I ran out without the diaper bag at all! Luckily I breastfed, so at least I didn't have to worry about a starving baby and no bottles. One thing I did was to shower at night after the kids were down so that in the morning I only had to get everyone dressed and fed in order to get out the door. I lowered my expectations a lot, the house was never as clean as before, I made a lot of meals that didn't require much more than heating on the stove, I bought canned fruits and veggies so I wouldn't have to worry about washing, peeling, cutting up. As far as getting out of the house at a decent time, I didn't plan to meet anyone too early in the day. Of course, with a toddler that generally naps at 1pm, you do have a small window of time to do anything before lunch and naptime. Also, we just did a lot less then we used to. One or two activities a week were plenty. Another thing I did which was a huge lifesaver was I did my grocery shopping online. Not only did I save money by buying only what I needed, I could call the store from the car and let them know I was there to pick up the groceries--all I had to do was pull up with a check in hand and unload my groceries. I didn't even have to get the kids out of their carseats! One piece of advice I have is to get out for your own sanity, even if it is just to go to McDonald's playland for a little while. It can be kind of overwhelming to get out with two kids, but with practice you'll become a pro and you won't feel so isolated. A mom in our playgroup hired a nanny and never took the kids out without her. I felt kind of sorry for her that she didn't feel confident enough in her own abilities to take her own kids out alone. Even if you wind up at the mall without the diaper bag and a stinky baby (that's happened to me more than once) you'll figure something out.

[peggyfromwastate]

Jennifer- the only thing I can really say is that it will get better! I didn't go out except maybe to church and 1 other activity per week during that time when my kids were 2.5 months! But when I did, I kept 2 diaper bags ready- one stocked in the car with extra outfits for both, extra bibs (my Izzy was a spitter), etc. Now that they are 2, I still have an extra changing pad and diapers in the van, 2 or 3 tubs of wipes in the van, antiseptic wipes for me to use, lap pads to cover wet through car seats, bibs or towels for the occassional vomiting episode, and a Jr epipen for my son Steven who is allergic to mustard. With all that junk stocked in my car, I can go anywhere!

As far as getting out of the house on time, I don't know... Do people really expect you to show on time? Just know that by 4 months you'll probably have a good routine going naturally with the little one, and then life will make more sense, and you may possibly get to sleep through the night.

I am so not looking forward to this stage again!

Good luck!

[DCJenn]

My friend in Massachusetts had three at home plus babysat three more (two infants) so she became the effiency expert.

She had diapers and babywipes in every room in the house. The older the kids got, she expected them to participate in the preparation to leave the house. Her husband hung a rack at kid height where all of the coats are hung. Shoes go underneath the coats along with any winter boots. Each child has a plastic bin for hats, gloves, scarves, etc.

They keep all of the sports equipment in the basement, and bikes, sleds, etc all go at the end of the driveway.

She also has two rats, four cats, a dog, 10 chickens, a snake and a family of foxes that has taken up residence in the backyard. So....she's not too hung up on keeping the house utterly spotless, either. Once a week, everyone has to pitch in. The kids are responsible for tossing their dirty clothes directly downstairs to the laundry area. She doesn't bother with a hamper. If they wet the bed, she has taught them to strip the bed and they keep undies and PJ's in the bottom of the dressers so they can pull out the drawer and help themselves to clean clothes.

She also has a bottom cabinet in the kitchen that has cereal and other kid munchies that they are allowed to snack on- after asking, of course. She keeps grapes and cut up orange slices in the bin in the fridge for them, too, along with those gogurt things.

So- just some things that I've observed in my years of watching the Master at work!

Jenn

[peggyfromwastate]

Wow Jenn- what an organized friend you have! I think I'll have to use that plastic bin idea. That's too great. I'm already stressing about where to put the gloves, hats, scarves, etc. Not with this summer like weather we've been having, but anyway. It's always like this in November, right?

[Phoebe]

Thanks for all the advice! I have found that it depends on the day how things go. Some days are haywire and others are a breeze. I think there is a law of nature though whenever you are trying to leave the house, a shoe magically disappears and someone poops.

The other night DH missed dinner at the hospital and asked if we could drop off some dinner. I was feeling especially generous that evening so I agreed to drive the kids the 15 minute drive to drop off a sandwich. By the time I got there, both kids greeted him from the car by screaming. His response was "Good luck to you!".

As for videos, we use them regularly now and for babysitting purposes I am embarrased to admit. I do try to limit them to the morning and after naps, but that doesn't always work.

Learning as we go, Jennifer

[mommax3]

Jennifer,

Glad things are going.....better! As for the videos.....

As for videos, we use them regularly now and for babysitting purposes I am embarrased to admit.

don't be embarrassed on our account......sounds like (from this thread) you aren't the only one who is using them that way! I readily admit that I would have lost my mind several times over if not for the VCR and lots of videos, especially when my oldest was a toddler and DH was a resident. Don't get me wrong....Nathan (#3) watches PLENTY of videos, but I don't feel nearly as desperate for him to as I did with my first.

Hang in there.

Sally