What do you call each other?

[Bittersweet]

DS1 (almost 2 years old) has started calling my husband, almost exclusively, by his first name. It’s not a big deal and we’re largely ignoring it, but DH would prefer that it not happen. In the meantime, I find it secretly hilarious and have to fight the urge to laugh anytime he does it.

Anyway, we were talking about it at work today and several people told me they refer to their significant other as “mom” or “dad” in front of the kids and this type of name confusion just never came up. Is this common? What do you call your spouse in front of the kids? I just can't imagine looking at my DH and saying "Dad, will you please pass the ketchup", you know? But I could also totally be the weird one here (it's happened before )

[Vanquisher]

I use a combo of his name and Dad. My kids have never called us by our first names, but I would correct them if they did.

[bobk]

We use our real names with each other and would correct the kids if they ever addressed us the same way. It's never been a problem.

[MrsK]

We use our real names with each other and would correct the kids if they ever addressed us the same way. It's never been a problem.

This, for the most part. If we are talking to the kids about one another, we say "mommy" or "daddy". As in "Daddy's coming home late tonight." Sometimes we do say "Mommy, K2 needs a new diaper" or something like that when we are doing childcare related stuff. But we usually call eachother by our first names or pet names. K1 will tell people that his parents' names are "Dr. Firstname Lastname" and "Mommy Firstname Lastname" so they know our names too which is good if they are ever seperated from us. (IDK why he refers to his father as Dr because we didn't teach him that.)

What about your friends? When speaking with other adults or about adults to your child do you refer to them as Mrs. Lastname? Ms. Firstname? Firstname only? I've wondered because it would bother me if my children referred to other adults by their first names but it seems that even teachers are using their first names with children. Even in workplaces, last names and honorifics are rarely used. And is it weird to refer to your equal as Mrs. So-and-So?

[SoonerTexan]

Directly speaking to each other--first names

Speaking to N about each other "Mommy/Daddy"

About other people? Lots of "aunties" haha.

I do remember answering the phone once in middle school--it was my mom's friend. I handed my mom the phone and said "Mom, it's Michele." I would have never referred to her directly by her first name, but did in the background to my mom (that's what my mom called her) and the woman got super pissed about it. Whatever.

[GrayMatterWife]

We use our real names with each other and would correct the kids if they ever addressed us the same way. It's never been a problem.

This. Completely.

But I also don't let my children call ANY adult by his/her first name, and it bugs the crap out of me when adults introduce me to their children using my first name. Yeah, news flash: I am not your kid's social equal. I usually lean over and smile and politely say, "Hi, I'm Mrs. Wxxxx. It is so nice to meet you, Johnny."

The only exceptions to this are "Aunt" and "Uncle"--it is Aunt Emily and Uncle Todd, for example--and the old southern practice of calling some very close family female adult friends by "Miss [First Name]". It is a gesture of respect and deference (usually related to age) or indicates a spinster or widow who has a close relationship with the family. For example, a close friend our neighborhood, who is in her mid-60s, my children address as "Miss Margaret." And, yes, she's married (actually is a "Mrs."). But, otherwise, no first names for adults.

I do not allow my children to address my parents' maid as "Miss [First Name]," which I know some people will allow. I grew up in an age and place where maids were not treated well and I refuse to allow my children to adopt that attitude.

[Phoebe]

[QUOTE=SoonerTexan;643276]Directly speaking to each other--first names

Speaking to N about each other "Mommy/Daddy"

About other people? QUOTE]
This. We try to teach our kids to be respectful and use Mrs. And Mr. Some parents have their kids call DH, Dr. First name and me Miss First name. With close friends our kids have ended up calling them by their first names. We go by what the parents want their children to call us. I, personally hate being called Mrs. That is my MIL, not me.

[bobk]

What about your friends? When speaking with other adults or about adults to your child do you refer to them as Mrs. Lastname? Ms. Firstname? Firstname only? I've wondered because it would bother me if my children referred to other adults by their first names but it seems that even teachers are using their first names with children. Even in workplaces, last names and honorifics are rarely used. And is it weird to refer to your equal as Mrs. So-and-So?

This is one of the more difficult things in modern parenting. When I was growing up, every adult was referred to as Mr. or Mrs. Lastname by children, without exceptions. Now the trend seems to be using first names or Mr/Mrs Firstname. I suppose one thing driving this is that it's increasingly common to have parents who are unmarried or women who retain their maiden names, so maybe it gets confusing with different last names. I'm at the point where I don't personally care much which one is used, I just wish there was a standard that everyone could agree on.

[diggitydot]

Between ourselves, it's first names. To the kids, it's mom/dad. With other adults, they are introduced as Mr./Mrs. LastName and then usually have the kids call them by their first name.

I think part of this issue is regional. In more socially laid back parts of the country, people are less comfortable with rigid adherence to the use of honorifics.

[MrsSz]

I, personally hate being called Mrs. That is my MIL, not me.

This... I've noticed that I'm Mrs. S because our last name is stupido!

[diggitydot]

This... I've noticed that I'm Mrs. S because our last name is stupido!

Oh, please. Yours isn't bad, at all.

Our last community was primarily people of Czech, Hungarian, and Polish descent. One of our friends has her name so frequently butchered that we all jokingly call her by the most common wrong name that isn't even remotely close to her real name.

[MrsSz]

Haha that's awesome!! It could be worse but I do love when people pause right before they say it... My maiden name was so easy and ENGLISH.. stupid Hungarians..

[diggitydot]

It's the weird consonant-to-vowel ratio and the abundance of Ys used as vowels that throws people off.

[Vishenka69]

Our last name has only one vowel and it's pretty long, so Mrs/Mr LastName is just asking for trouble. I've resigned to first names.

DD3 will sometimes call us by first names to get our attention but I'm pretty sure it's a stage that will pass.

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[MrsK]

I had an episode today where my 3yo was referring to a friend of mine by her first name rather disrespectfully. I've always referred to her as "Maggie's Mommy," "Mrs. Lastname" or "Ms. Firstname" around him. But we went to the park today and when Maggie wandered off, he scowled at my friend, "You'd better get her Catherine!" He referred to her by her first name and ordered her around a couple other times today too. My friend was amused. I was not.