Visiting First Time Parents

[WolfpackWife]

One of the two people here I actually know is due tomorrow with their first baby. I know her casually so I haven't gotten invited to a baby shower or anything like that, but I do want to reach out to her after I know the baby has been born.

I was thinking of whether or not it's useful/helpful/appropriate to bring new parents a meal or something like that. Or is that only something you do when visiting a grieving family? I was thinking, if this is something all of your new or veteran moms feel is appreciated and helpful to new parents, of doing something like eggplant parm since it's hearty and one-dish.

Was that helpful to you during your first couple weeks as new parents? Or is this not even a "thing"?

[SoonerTexan]

I would have KILLED for more meals in the few weeks after N was born. And honestly, more company, though all people are different. I think bringing over a meal is fine and would be appreciated. Just check with her first on when would be a good time and don't plan on staying unless she specifically asks you to.

I usually bring meals to the new parents I know, so I think it is a "thing"

[Thirteen]

One of our IMSNers left a casserole dish and a huge bowl of fresh fruit for me at my doorstep right after DS was born.
I was so grateful, I ugly cried.
Is your friend in medicine? Often, family and friends are not nearby and having someone take care of you is so refreshing. Dragging a newborn everywhere, post-partum, with an absentee medical spouse is very hard.

Mealtrain.com is a great site that allows you to sign up a family and coordinate food delivery without any overlap. You can see what others are preparing, and plan accordingly. I only wish I had had more friends like Lamorna around.
(Still grateful -- thank you!)

[diggitydot]

I think taking her food is a fabulous and very thoughtful idea. Maybe stuff she can eat on the fly, but still healthy? Veggies and fruits already cut up and maybe a main dish?

Very thoughtful.

[SuzySunshine]

Food is the BEST thing you can take a new mom - make sure it is freezeable in case she has other things. I usually do a chicken casserole or enchiladas - uncooked with instructions for cooking it and freezing it so that they can do either. I also like to include a loaf of dinner bread or rolls, a bagged salad and a batch of brownies. Make sure everything is in disposable foil containers so that she doesn't have to worry about who they belong to.

[WolfpackWife]

REALLY glad to hear this is something that is not only helpful, but usually wanted by new parents!

[Bittersweet]

REALLY glad to hear this is something that is not only helpful, but usually wanted by new parents!

Yes, totally wanted! We got a lot of food after DS2 was born and it was amazing! I second SuzySunshine's suggestion of making it something that can be frozen. Some of the dishes we got I even froze and saved for when I returned to work. Having a meal I could just pop in the oven was a huge help during that time of transition.

[alotofyarn]

My Sunday School class at church always sets up calendars for couples to bring to new parents using mealbaby.com. As far as I know, everybody loves it.

[MsSassyBaskets]

You might check with her about food allergies or dietary restrictions before deciding on what food to bring.

[moonlight]

That is really thoughtful! You'll be one of her new best friends. I remember my neighbor brought us food including brownies and it was really appreciated! We didn't know them very well but it was so nice. I ended up hiring her daughters to help me out around the house and for babysitting.

Let us know how it goes!

[ladymoreta]

Yes! Meals are fantastic! Our friends set up meals for us, and not having to cook those first few days home was awesome. I also usually text earlier in the day to see if they need anything from the store.

[GrayMatterWife]

Just be cautious. Some first-time parents are just freaking nuts. They won't let anyone touch the baby, lean toward the baby, or breathe near the baby. They are often rude about it. If you show up unannounced at their doorstep with food or gift in hand, don't be offended if they don't invite you in. Or, if you are allowed in, they will slather you in anti-bacterial hand cleaner (which, of course, is not effective to stop virus transmission) and treat you like you are carrying an air-borne hemmoragic contagion.

The neuroticism will be much less with second child...

[HouseofWool]

The neuroticism will be much less with second child...

*snort*

Or not, I know someone who was like that with every one of their 6 kids.

[MrsK]

I agree. Food is appreciated. Visiting may or may not be depending on the mom. I had a lot of food and visitors with my first baby. The food was wonderful and mostly the visitors were too although there were times that visitors overstayed and/or I really needed a nap or shower more than I needed visitors. I was so sleep deprived and in pain from my c-section that I really couldn't converse with visitors for very long. Tread lightly and don't be offended if the new mom is not up to small talk.

[Ladybug122]

Just chiming in that food is a great gesture! Visits... sometimes yes, sometimes no. If he/she invite you in to meet the baby, etc. plan on staying just a few minutes (like literally 10 min or less). Once they get a handle on the new baby, etc I'm sure they would love a longer, social visit. You're a kind person to be so thoughtful, I'm sure they will appreciate it!