Funny things kids say

[DCJenn]

I have been laughing for three days now-

My friend told me that her bosses 5 year old daughter got a yeast infection (dirty fingers in fun places!) and the way she told her something was wrong was, "Mommy, my 'gina feels spicy."

I swear I was on the treadmill on the gym and something sparked my memory and I literally laughed out loud.

And then my other friend's son who was about five at the time walked in on a very intimate moment and announced ever so loudly and quite angrily, "Daddy, I don't like it when you do that to Mommy. It sounds sticky." Needless to say the ummm, moment, was lost.

Any others out there?

Jenn

[Auspicious]

In this post and henceforth my boyfriend shall be known as G, so that I can defame his character across the vast and uncontrollable expanses of cyberspace without worrying too much about it. (Yes, I'm paranoid in real life as well. Just go with it.)

So, my 7-year-old neice is very interested in marriages, brides, weddings, etc., but she's still trying to figure out how all that works. The last time I was visiting we were talking about it and she said something about how all grownups are married. So I corrected her and said "Oh no, lots of grownups aren't married!" and she said "But YOU are, with G." and I said, "Nope, he's my boyfriend, but that's not the same thing." So she thought about it and asked, "Well, is G married?" at which point all the adults present totally cracked up. So I said "No, definitely not." So she said "Well, you should just marry HIM then." She was very pleased with herself. like she had just thought of a solution that would kill two unmarried birds with one stone.

I'm glad we have her blessing.

[mommax3]

Two of my boys (so far) have asked (while seeing me undressed) if my penis is hiding in "all of that fur"

Sally

[PrincessFiona]

Sally, I screamed with laughter and I'm sitting here all alone holding the baby. This equates to something my son said when I was pregnant and getting out of the bath.

Both andrew and amanda walked into the bathroom (of course ..who has privacy) and Andrew commented to Amanda that she would have 'milkies' someday to feed a baby with....and that they would "hang down like that" too.

kris

Two of my boys (so far) have asked (while seeing me undressed) if my penis is hiding in "all of that fur"

Sally

You got me, too, Sally! I cracked up on that one!

Since I hardly ever wear makeup, my daughter who was 4 at the time, was always fascinated to watch me put it on on the rare occasions I do. Once while watching with rapt attention she asked me why I was "painting" my face. I answered, "it helps to make me look better." To which she replied, "it doesn't help." My husband insists that she meant that I didn't need any help but I'm not sure about that.

[mommax3]

I have wondered, ever since that comment, if I should check into some serious waxing, but realistically, that ain't gonna happen....

The assumption around here (until they are enlightened) is that everyone has a penis.....I guess I can understand that, since I am outnumbered, but the stuff they say cracks me up. One of them was afraid at one point that I couldn't pee because I didn't have one.

[SueC]

You guys have me laughing my a** off! Out of the blue tonight Maya said "Daddy doesn't wear dresses anymore". Took me a minute, but then I remembered that she is referring to these pajamas that I wear that are actually Frank's--it is a big night-shirt that hangs down to my knees. His mom got it for him when he had his appendix out because it was just easier in the hospital and he hasn't worn it since. My husband told her once that it used to be his. She is kind of a loudmouth and I'm laughing just thinking of the possibilities of who she might have already told that her daddy isn't wearing dresses anymore!

Here's a bizarre quote that we overheard in the parking lot the other day. It didn't come from a kid but we were laughing for days. "You tell biscuit if she ever comes out of her coma that she's a good girl". I hope no animal lovers are offended (we are dog people ourselves) but the quote is just so darn wierd we couldn't help but laugh!

[peggyfromwastate]

My oldest daughter is now at the age where she constantly gets into little "verbal fights" with boys. One day at school, a boy called her a "nerd". She didn't know what this was, so she asked us, and my husband told her what he used to say to the kids who called him a nerd: "Yes, I am a never-ending radical dude." I told her that that particular comeback may not be the most effective. I said that being a nerd isn't a bad thing, it just describes someone who likes to study and learn a lot about all sorts of things. (I come from a long line of nerds! ) After hearing that, she decided that she is, in fact, a nerd!

Later, she encountered another little boy in a play toy at McDonalds, and he called her a nerd. She said, "I AM a never ending radical dude". The boy looked at her strangely, and then said that girls are boring. She said smartly, "Yeah, if you think sitting around reading all day is boring!"

I have to teach her some comebacks!!! And keep my husband from sharing HIS!

[SueC]

That's cute Peggy!
The only comeback I can think of is from Pee Wee Herman "I know you are but what am I"...I better brush up on those before my girls get a little older so I can arm them with something better than that.

I can add a couple....it seems that our 3yo has always got something good to say!

We got our family pictures done in early Dec., we got the boys pictures taken for Halloween about a week later (yes, we are terribly behind!). Anyway, Colton was being pretty squirmy and he was pushing on Drew in the throat area. Drew gets away and then in a shocked voice says 'he was pushing me in the esophagus'....guess he is picking up a little more of the medical stuff than we thought!?

When the in-laws were here, they took us out to dinner. It was quite a fiasco and at some point during the night DW and her mother started to argue. Drew then speaks up and says 'Grandma, stop being so cranky to my Momma'...that pretty much stopped all the bickering right there.

When my parents were here, my Dad was on his way to the bathroom for an extended stay. It wasn't broadcast that was where he was going. Drew followed him to the stairs (should add, we are going through some power struggles and have had to get after Drew to mind and do what he is told), and then states, 'you better go poo-poo potty, Mister, and I mean it', all while standing there pointing a finger in authority. We were rolling with laughter, unfortunately my Dad has terrible hearing and didn't catch exactly what was said. It was quite funny though.

These crack me up.

At Thanksgiving at our friends' house, DH excused himself from the table to use the restroom. Bryn and her friend were playing near the bathroom. And just as DH walked by her there was a lull in the conversation at the table, and she said (loudly), "Daddy, you aren't going to make it stinky in there, are you?"

Last night Bryn was eating an apricot. I said something about her eating an albicocca (apricot in Italian). Of course, she said, "A what?". I said, "oh, that's how you say apricot in italian. It's a different language." She said somewhat seriously, "Is that good language or bad language, mommy?" (No, I am not multi-lingual. I just know the Italian names of my favorite gelato flavors. )

So funny!!! Thanks for the laughs, all. We were at a friend's house recently who had other family friends there with their two kids including a five or six year old boy. Another couple came over later in the evening and the little boy asked the female part of the couple if she was our host's mother!!! It was really funny, especially since the friend is only about 27 or so but does look older. It was one of those foot-in-mouth moments for the boy's parents, I think!

[SueC]

I had to take my kids to my OB appointment yesterday and my oldest was in rare form. First, in the waiting room, she let it be known that she really didn't like the shoes the guy next to us was wearing. I completely ignored her comment like I didn't hear her. She proceeded to ask detailed questions about how the baby got into my tummy. The waiting room was packed and I could see several people chuckling.
Then, after the nurse took me back to the room, I left the door partially open while we were waiting for the Dr. Maya turned to me and said "are there any light people that work here?". I was mortified! Most of the nurses that work there are African American and I'm pretty sure somebody was in earshot at the time because their station was very near our exam room. She went on to talk about who she knew that was "light" and who she knew that was "dark". It's funny, though, that she categorized her father as light even though he has a pretty dark complexion. I guess that means I need to start a dialogue about the whole race issue--or at least teach her better words to use than "light people" and "dark people".

That's funny, Sue, I had a similar thing happen with Daniel who was two at the time. We got a new refrigerator delivered by two men, one of whom was Hispanic. Unfortunately the frig was damaged and they had to come back and replace it with a new one. The second time one of the guys who delivered originally came back but not his Hispanic partner. So Daniel pipes up, "Where's the brown man?" and had the other guy rolling with laughter.

[SueC]

That's pretty funny Thu Van! We have two little friends named Tommy and Maya has referred to them as white Tommy and brown Tommy (one is blond and blue eyed and the other is Hispanic). The good thing is that kids can usually get away with saying stuff like that without really offending anyone.