Thanking Parents

[alotofyarn]

My parents have helped us out so much throughout life, but especially financially and just being there over the last year as we've gone through fertility treatments, then purchasing and renovating a new house. I really want to find a way to thank them, especially some way that isn't just a financial thing, because we owe them a lot of money right now. Any ideas?

[GreyhoundsRUs]

My parents have helped us out so much throughout life, but especially financially and just being there over the last year as we've gone through fertility treatments, then purchasing and renovating a new house. I really want to find a way to thank them, especially some way that isn't just a financial thing, because we owe them a lot of money right now. Any ideas?

We end up in a similar situation re: DH's parents - basically, we just express our heartfelt thanks and occasionally send flowers or similar. We plan on spoiling them once we're done with training, but for now, it's silly to spend some of their money on "gifts" for them

[Mrs. MD, Esq.]

Write a letter/card...it's something they will definitely cherish.

[WolfpackWife]

My parents have helped us out so much throughout life, but especially financially and just being there over the last year as we've gone through fertility treatments, then purchasing and renovating a new house. I really want to find a way to thank them, especially some way that isn't just a financial thing, because we owe them a lot of money right now. Any ideas?

A year in, we're already sort of in the same spot with my parents. We've had to borrow some $ from them last fall (already paid it back), and when we went to them to ask and explain the circumstances, they were so gracious and understanding and sort of joked that they had assumed we'd need their help during the med school years and not to worry about needing help once in a while. I know that if we had needs similar to yours, they would help us in those ways as well. Based on the things you've said they've helped you with, it sounds like they are like my parents - people who don't need or want anything as far as gifts go (which is really annoying come Christmas/Birthdays/Mothers/Father's day), if they need/want it, they just get it.

I second the idea about something heartfelt. A card or even just taking them out to dinner and voicing your gratitude face to face to show your sincerity. That's what I've wanted to do for my parents. When we asked to borrow the money in Dec. DH told my Dad "just put it on my tab. You know this is all coming back to you some day" (even though we did pay them back a few weeks later) and that's become a running joke. In private, DH has said that one of the first things he wants to do when we can afford to is to take my parents on a nice trip just to says "thanks".

ETA: I also just remembered that we gifted my parents a gift certificate to a really nice hotel in our hometown since a) it's 5 minutes from their house and they'd never go there and b) again with the "they have everything, what do you buy them) as a "thank you" gift before our wedding. It wasn't much, but we figured that it was a nice treat that they wouldn't do for themselves, even though they could if they wanted. The hotel has an excellent restaurant and spa so even though we couldn't afford to give them something we felt they "deserved" for giving us such an amazing wedding...we did try to show them gratitude by giving them an excuse to do something a little off the cuff on us.

[alotofyarn]

Thanks for the advice so far! Cards, flowers, and dinner is about as good as we can come up with, and I feel like I thank my mom every day, especially as she updates me with construction reports on the house and adds more things that we need to do that requires more loaned money. I think they know we're appreciative, and I know they're more than happy to help us out, I just wish I could do more to show them we really appreciate it. I think having a first grandbaby on the way helps too!

[Deebs]

I don't mean to sound like one of those people who insists parents know better than non-parents, BUT your perspective will change once you have a baby. You will realize no thanks is necessary. Your parents would gladly give you one of their limbs and think nothing of it. Also, just about every grandparent I know says the reward for having kids in the first place is getting to have grand kids. So, you're giving them that, too.

I'm not saying you should be ungrateful, but your parents probably know you appreciate them and are most likely to do anything for you.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

I don't mean to sound like one of those people who insists parents know better than non-parents, BUT your perspective will change once you have a baby. You will realize no thanks is necessary. Your parents would gladly give you one of their limbs and think nothing of it. Also, just about every grandparent I know says the reward for having kids in the first place is getting to have grand kids. So, you're giving them that, too.

I'm not saying you should be ungrateful, but your parents probably know you appreciate them and are most likely to do anything for you.

ITA! (It doesn't always help that guilty feeling, though! )

[houseelf]

I agree. Pay it forward.

[v-girl]

We thanked our parents at the end of med school by giving them a 3rd grandchild! Ha ha!

[SoonerTexan]

Just let them see that baby often! Frequent pictures and FaceTime chats have been very much appreciated by the long distance set if grandparents. N is really starting to recognize them and have a relationship with them and they just eat it up.

[alotofyarn]

Thanks all! We may still go with something small just to make sure they know we really appreciate it, but it's good to hear all different opinions. They'll be living close, so they will definitely get to see the baby pretty often, and I'll make sure I do the drive to them as much as possible so they're not always coming to us.