Help me get my kids to help out around the house!

[v-girl]

I'm in the same boat.

We have recycling here, but only every other week. I'm sure the recycling company thinks we're alcoholics who are addicted to pizza and shopping on Amazon.

[ladymoreta]

I'm sure the recycling company thinks we're alcoholics who are addicted to pizza and shopping on Amazon.

Haha same here, except I think we're not supposed to recycle pizza boxes, so they don't know about all of those!

About the only thing I've found that helps is to have a little more storage than the toys can fill. If the kids (or I) have to fit stuff in bins or shelves like a puzzle, or if there isn't a designated place for things, they end up in piles on the floor. Also, it's so much easier to say "Put the Legos in the blue box" than to say "Clean up the playroom". I know that doesn't exactly translate to older kids, since they know what clean-up means, but it's so much faster when you know where things should go and there's space for them.

Again, no experience with older kids, but I loved the preschooler Love & Logic. I believe the main book is written for parents of elementary through high schoolers. Have you read it or tried it? Sorry, grasping at straws. I was always a messy kid (and still am messy), but my mom never let me leave my crap outside of my room for more than a day. The room was atrocious, but the door could close when my parents had company and had to be clean before I could have friends over.

[Sheherezade]

Yet another thread tangent: storage. You could not be more right, LM. Storage is key to clean up.

We have one real closet in our entire house. ONE. it's in my office. Otherwise, we are dealing with armoires or spaces we've carved out beneath stairways since we've moved in. Luckily, my son doesn't hang clothing and my daughter seems cool with a rolling clothes rack in her mod styled room.

I recently told my husband that adding a closet or two (!) somewhere has to become a major priority. You can't get rid of clutter if it has nowhere to go.

I can't believe it took me 6 years of frustration to realize this. Alternately, we could just get rid of a bunch of stuff....

[Deebs]

The second we looked at homes here, I realized builders in this area seriously underestimate the value of storage. We live in Cleveland and have one coat closet, about two feet wide. I can fit DH's winter-wear in there, and that's all. Our last home had tons of closets and built ins (enough that some were empty). Not surprisingly, it was a home that had been custom designed and built by the previous owners. In this house, I've just tried to buy very functional furniture and declutter often, which is tough with three young kids.


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[diggitydot]

Oh, yeah -- storage space is essential. We have two walk-in closets, three normal closets, multiple cabinets in the laundry room, a coat closet, an under-the-stairs storage room, a strangely tiny linen closet downstairs, and a mechanical/storage room that has every wall lined with shelves and the room itself is larger than the master bedroom and bathroom combined. I've never had a house with so much storage.

[PrincessFiona]

Well, I cleaned up yesterday .... and this morning the house just is in shambles again. Entropy is alive in this house. I get tired of cleaning up the same messes over and over again. I have to step up how I get the kids involved. I think I really bought into my MIL's idea that it is my job to serve my kids and I feel like a bad mom if I even give them their laundry to put away. That just seems like nonsense. Yesterday, I handed Alex his laundry, told him to put it away and bring me the basket and he did. I didn't check where he put the laundry, but it was such a relief to have him do it! I need to come up with some new policies about who does what.

Amanda is desperate for some cash this weekend to buy a friend an 18th bday gift. She offered to do a chore list for cash. Maybe I'll take her up on that because I'm just sick of cleaning up the same stuff. I know I shouldn't pay her ... but I will.

I am going to come up with a chore for each of the kids to do after school when they walk in the door and tie that to the internet being turned on. I think it's the only way!

I also hate that the kids eat dinner and never stay and help after dinner to get the dishes done. I've harped on it for years, but now .... I'm thinking that the internet will be turned off at dinner time and only turned back on once everyone has helped with the meal.

It's time for me to become the internet nazi.

Kris

[HouseofWool]

I am right there with the rest of you. I am tired of nagging.

Today, the 11 yo wanted to play minecraft or watch Netflix. But the house looks like it could be featured on an episode of Hoarders. It is really bad. I completely lost my schmidt when he asked for the tenth time. Then he helped more willingly, but I hate that I am losing my temper over it.

The treadmill I ordered should be delivered in a week or so, which means that I need to have that area ready for it. There is just no way for me to do it all alone.

[Vishenka69]

At what age did your kids start having regular chores? Is 4 too early?

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[HouseofWool]

At what age did your kids start having regular chores? Is 4 too early?

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I have the 4 year old help with stuff as appropriate. She is capable of putting away some of her clothes (underwear, socks, etc), she helps put away clean silverware from the dishwasher, dirty clothes into the laundry chute, general tidying (with very specific instructions - put this pair of shoes away, now put your hat in the basket, etc) She also helps set the table, putting out silverware. We have a set of plastic dishes from Target that we use for everyday so that the kids can help without worrying about breakage.

When I need her out of my hair for a few minutes, I hand her a lambswool duster and ask her to run it along the baseboards. She does a horrible job, but at least it is touched and she is busy...

There is a surprising amount that a 4 year old is capable of doing if we ask it of them.

[SuzySunshine]

My kids both have chores - they get an allowance. However instead of paying them to do chores they can choose to pay me to do them, does that make sense? So like I choose to spend some of my budget having the house cleaned. If at the end of the week (Sunday night when we hand out allowances) they have not done a chore then they have "chosen" to pay me to do it and I deduct my fee from their allowance.

Right now their chores are feed the dog, clean their room, clean the playroom. They feed the dog daily, they do the cleaning bi-weekly the night before the house cleaners come.

[ladymoreta]

Amanda is desperate for some cash this weekend to buy a friend an 18th bday gift. She offered to do a chore list for cash. Maybe I'll take her up on that because I'm just sick of cleaning up the same stuff. I know I shouldn't pay her ... but I will.

I don't see anything wrong with having some chores being paid. Of course, she will have things to do as part of the family, but in think paid chores are a great way to teach kids about earning, saving, and spending.

[Sheherezade]

We often do a job list before holidays or birthdays so the kids can earn cash. It's not usually day to day chores but more often big stuff. Our kids don't get an allowance.

[diggitydot]

I don't see anything wrong with having some chores being paid. Of course, she will have things to do as part of the family, but in think paid chores are a great way to teach kids about earning, saving, and spending.

I agree. Nothing wrong with a kiddo Amanda's age seeing how some work is tied to compensation.

[MrsK]

I'd be happy if I could get DrK to pick up after himself. If I leave him with the boys for a meal, for instance, when I return hours after the meal has ended there will be dirty dishes on the table and various debris all over the kitchen counters. It looks like vagrants moved into my kitchen. I reward/praise the boys for putting their trash in the trashcan and their dishes in the sink. I clean the table and counters when I'm done, put dishes in the sink. The boys also have little dustpans and sweepers that they use to sweep up cheerios and whatnot that they've dropped under the table. DrK, on the other hand, will leave the cereal boxes and banana peels on the counter, all dishes on the table or, if he is ambitious, on the counter next to the sink or on the counter next to the pile of dishes that he's left next to the sink . . .

I could stop the K Bros from engaging in deliberate acts of vandalism, that would be helpful too. K1 gets wild and he'll run through the house like a tornado, destroying everything in his path. K2 gets excited and starts racing after K1, finding new things to destroy. In a matter of minutes they will have emptied drawers, dumped out toys, torn up papers, spilled cereal, poured liquids everywhere, written on walls, overturned furniture . . . giggling and wrestling all the while. That makes me totally and absolutely insane. I do make them clean it up but it's so gosh darn infuriating.

[Vishenka69]

I have the 4 year old help with stuff as appropriate. She is capable of putting away some of her clothes (underwear, socks, etc), she helps put away clean silverware from the dishwasher, dirty clothes into the laundry chute, general tidying (with very specific instructions - put this pair of shoes away, now put your hat in the basket, etc) She also helps set the table, putting out silverware. We have a set of plastic dishes from Target that we use for everyday so that the kids can help without worrying about breakage.

DD does all of these things as well, but they're not regular chores. She's also pretty handy with a vacuum swifter. The problem is that she feels that saying "no" when she doesn't want to help is an option.

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