Changing a child's middle name

[PrincessFiona]

What say you?

We named Aidan after Thomas' dad, who happened to be named Adolf. At the time, it seemed respectful and emotional ... his dad had recently passed away. Now? I hate it. I hate having to write his full name, and I worry endlessly that it will have some sort of negative consequences for him in the future. I want to get rid of it. I offered to use Thomas' grandfather's name (Joseph) instead to appease Thomas and his mother.

Should I go through the process? I have no idea even how to get started, but I just can't let this rest. Would you feel the same way that I do? Do you think my concerns are unfounded?

Kris

[SoonerTexan]

I can see your concern, but I'd leave it up to Aidan. How does he feel about it?

[houseelf]

This is a super easy process. Go down to the court house and ask the file clerk in the Civil law department about a petition for a name change. If I remember correctly, it used to cost about $100 in MN. (I'll google it for you). You will be put on the calendar and appear before a magistrate or judge who will ask why you want to change the minor's name. The only two times I saw this denied was when an idiot changed his name to Yoda to win $100 on a radio show contest. The judge played hard ball when declining his petition stating that this was a frivolous use of the an already overburdened court system. On appeal, Petitioner later was granted his original name. The station paid all costs. The only other denial I heard was pursuant to a fairly hostile custody situation when mom stated she wanted to change her kids' surnames to "align them more with her side of the family". She would have won a petition for a hyphened name if she argued that she wanted their names' to reflect both parents' heritage. Apparently she was a real piece of work and the family law judge and magistrate knew this woman's antics well. I digress, but your situation will be a quick stamp signature.

Good luck.

ETA- This was procedural info only. As far as the reason why, I wouldn't over think it too much. If you and Aidan want to change it, that's cool. If you really want it to honor T's dad, leave it. I honestly only know about 10 people's middle names, five of whom reside in this house. It isn't that big of a deal and if someone wants to make it one, it is completely legit why you choose Adolf.

[GrayMatterWife]

Like Houself said, legally, it should be pretty straightward and cost no more than a couple of hundred bucks.

Personally, I would change it. Certainly understandable to name a child after a beloved relative, but also would be very understandable to change that particular name.

How about going "President Truman"? He was "Harry S Truman"...No middle name. Just "S", in tribute to both his grandfathers. How about just changing it to "A"? (That is, if Aidan wants to keep the tribute to his "Adolph" grandfather, without using the actual name.)

Wikipedia: 'Harry S. Truman was born on May 8, 1884, in Lamar, Missouri, the oldest child of John Anderson Truman (1851–1914) and Martha Ellen Young Truman (1852–1947). His parents chose the name Harry after his mother's brother, Harrison "Harry" Young (1846–1916). They chose "S" as his middle initial to please both of his grandfathers, Anderson Shipp Truman and Solomon Young. The "S" did not stand for anything, a common practice among the Scots-Irish."

[diggitydot]

DH's middle name is just a single letter. Thankfully, his stoned-out hippy parents had a singular moment of clarity when deciding that "Gilmer" probably wasn't the best middle name after saddling him with a first name the would forever fuck him over in the Name-Game song.

[MarissaNicole]

DH's middle name is just a single letter. Thankfully, his stoned-out hippy parents had a singular moment of clarity when deciding that "Gilmer" probably wasn't the best middle name after saddling him with a first name the would forever fuck him over in the Name-Game song.

I love your DH's name.... And never thought of that before. Haha I think that may take it off the baby names list!



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[diggitydot]

I love your DH's name.... And never thought of that before. Haha I think that may take it off the baby names list!

I actually really like his name, too. I'm also hearing, "Oh, that's my grand kid's/nephew's/cousin's name," more frequently than the usual, "Oh, that's our dog's name!"

[Meenah]

I remember when you were pregnant with him and you had reservations then about his name (unless I'm remembering incorrectly). What does Aidan think? I can understand your feelings, I think being German and being named Adolf could make for some awkward moments.

[Pollyanna]

If Aidan wants to change it then I'd go for it! My friends family changed their LAST name...she had four children at the time. Her hubby wanted to go back to his biological fathers name not that if his step father. Legally it was easy, hard for the kids though.

Diggity, dh's first name is one letter. His folks wanted to be "creative" He hates it and it is a huge pita. He even has people insisting that his name can't be one letter.

[Cinderella]

I've always disliked my middle name and it's after my Dad's Mom. While I greatly love my paternal grandmother I've never loved the namesake. In Spanish it means great sorrow. It's very old fashioned and if I could get rid of it I would. I tried to change it after I got married but the DMV wouldn't let me. If your son has the same issue and you're willing to change it then I'd let him decide if he wants to change it now.

[Sheherezade]

This should almost be a confession... I need to change my son's middle name as well! Here's why. His middle name is an odd French family name (he has no problem with that) but the clerk couldn't read my handwriting and misspelled it! So, legally, his middle name is nonsense. We've always just used his "real" middle name but when he got his passport and his license, he had to use the misspelled middle name.

I need to fix it for him before he's fully launched. That was just a bridge to far when he was a baby and my DH was a resident. After that, we just kind of forgot about it....

[L.Jane]

This should almost be a confession... I need to change my son's middle name as well! Here's why. His middle name is an odd French family name (he has no problem with that) but the clerk couldn't read my handwriting and misspelled it! So, legally, his middle name is nonsense. We've always just used his "real" middle name but when he got his passport and his license, he had to use the misspelled middle name.

I need to fix it for him before he's fully launched. That was just a bridge to far when he was a baby and my DH was a resident. After that, we just kind of forgot about it....

Don't sweat it too much... my mom is dyslexic like me and switched a some letters on my middle name. I love it.

[Sheherezade]

He does tease me about it (playfully). They switched a u to a v. Believe me, with my sloppy handwriting, that's easy to do.

He actually jokes about it and doesn't seem to care. He's a very easy going kid. Still, I don't want him to have to deal with all the BS to change it legally, on his license, passport, and SS card if he decides to do it. I shudder just considering it myself....

New moms: PRINT CLEARLY.

[LadyFoot]

DH goes by his middle name and that in itself is a pain, especially since he's meeting totally new people every month. He doesn't like his first name, but usually it's not worth correcting people all the time when he won't know them for that long.

Stuff like this makes me so nervous to name my own kids. I'm afraid either I'll end up hating the name later or they will. But I'll make sure to print clearly! On the other hand, I've heard Oprah's name was supposed to be Orpah but got misspelled in her birth certificate. Turned out fine for her!

[moonlight]

If I have to be honest with you Kris I would change it regardless of what your son said. I totally understand why you hate it. Pay the fee and just change it asap. He's about to start high school next year (right?) and its a good time to get this type of stuff done. And I wouldn't tell your MIL at all. If your hubby tells her, oh well. Otherwise I wouldn't breath a word of it to his family. Good luck!!