I realize why i don't like being a parent

[Pollyanna]

I think you need to remember that God is a God of grace and never commands us to be perfect (which sounds like your goal, honestly). In parenting, I do the very best that I can (I think we would all say that), but I am comforted by my belief that God loves my children more than I do and will ultimately use my inevitable mistakes to build their character and will intervene if my goal in a certain situation is not what my kids need. Remember that God doesn't love you because of what you do, but because of who He is.

So much this!!!

Ask yourself who are you hurting in your goal for perfection? What relationships are harmed? Your goal for perfection doesn't exist in a vacuum, it impacts everyone around you (even though that is not your intention).

I'm worried about you.

[spotty_dog]

The flip side of "God will hold me accountable if I don't" is "I can make God approve of me if I do."

The flip side of "I worry that my parenting choices weren't ideal," is "My children's path in life is determined by *my* decisions."

It all sounds very controlling.

I am so sorry that this wake is so stressful. I hope it goes well and your family can start to heal.

[SoonerTexan]

In addition to what everyone else said, looks up the financial theory of sunk costs. Huge idea to apply to life (to finances, but Im talking more to life in general) Ironically the only thing I remember much of from my acct classes in college

[moonlight]

I just wanted to remind you that God loves us no matter how close or how far we come to missing the mark. We are all born with imperfections. You, your husband, your kids will never have a perfect life or make perfect choices. You have and will make mistakes. We ALL make mistakes. God forgives us each and every day and we get back up and do our best. But please please don't waste your life trying so hard that the pleasant things pass you by. You've got to take breaks and enjoy from time to time.

If trying to please God has put you in a place where you are saying aloud "I realize why I don't like being a parent" then something is way way off. All parents have those days when we would rather be on a beach than doing bedtime routine, but at the end of the day your "conclusion" in life shouldn't be anywhere near saying you realize you don't like being a parent. IDK, it feels like it crosses some kind of line of being in a really dark place rather than just having a bad day. I hope something in that was helpful. I hate that you are feeling this way! You seem like a very sweet person.

[kentovellq]

Sometimes a good break for relaxation is all you need to destress from parenting troubles.