Free Kindergarten

[PrincessFiona]

Flynn,

I agree. I think the public schools really have a harder time now than they did when we were growing up...or maybe that is just my impression? Teachers really are expected to be social workers, therapists and teach kids on top of that. Children do have so many needs...I look at my own children.

I don't know what the problem is...is it that parents are too busy to help their children effectively or are they too overwhelmed by the serious problems in todays world/economy? I don't know the answer.

There is a lot of harping that goes on regarding working mom vs. stay-at-home mom, but the way things are today I think that many women have to work if they aren't lucky enough to have a husband who earns a decent salary. There is a great book "The Two-Income Trap" that addresses that.....

just rambling,

kris

I don't know what the problem is...is it that parents are too busy to help their children effectively or are they too overwhelmed by the serious problems in todays world/economy? I don't know the answer.

When I think of the nincompoop parents, I think of the ones that consistently drop the ball for their kids. A friend who is a first grade teacher in a middle-class, suburban school has some really sad stories about some of the parents. Granted, it is "only" a child or two per year. But these kids come to school not having been fed breakfast, very late, no lunch (or not one worth eating), and have no support at home for homework or reading time, etc day in and day out. I think it is those children who, sadly, create classroom disruption and don't learn nearly as much (and hinder others from learning).

[Flynn]

two income parents?

Kris -- thanks for your comments. Public school problems are so layered. I'm sure I don't fully understand them all but I have ideas on what I would do if it were possible and mandatory volunteering from a guardian (mom, dad, sibling over 25, grandparent) would be a first step.

I think if people outside education had a better understanding of the challenges a school and classroom faces, it would only improve things. Now this idea does have a lot of problems as well...I see rasty parents coming in a being jerks...stuff like that. All in all though, I think it would help. These days we need to require people to be involved. Sad but true.

Also, two parents working is a big issue as well. I feel extremely fortunate that I have the choice to stay home. A large number of people do not. I would like to point out however, that there is a HUGE section of our society who work to support a lifestyle and NOT to pay bills. These are not the parents who have two incomes to pay for future college educations. The parents I am referring to are people who HAVE to keep up with the "Jones'" with cars, house, clothes and vacations. I saw that a TON when I was in a public school. Many high school kids were alone more than not, both parents had no clue, and the kid had a new car, phone, pager, and a sterling D average GPA. Both parents did not NEED to work. It was a choice. In this category -- the kids suffer bundles. We do NOT need to have children. It is a privledge. If your career is so important or your stuff is so important -- why have kids?

Kids are smart too. They know why their parents are working and they have an idea how much if it is being saved for their college etc. I saw a ton of kids who had no respect for their parents all due to this element of parenting.

Very interesting dialogue....I am enjoying this a great deal!

Flynn

[Flynn]

I have seen some that can have it all...

Just to make a small clarification...I have seen some parents who seem to manage everything and still be great parents while working full time by choice. I think these people are in the small minority however which many people do not want to acknowledge. Nonetheless, more power to them.

Flynn

[Auspicious]

Re: two income parents?

Kids are smart too. They know why their parents are working and they have an idea how much if it is being saved for their college etc. I saw a ton of kids who had no respect for their parents all due to this element of parenting.

Which element of parenting do you mean here? You mean working for a certain lifestyle but then it turns out the parents have no money saved for college and the kid loses respect for the parents when they find that out? Or do you mean something else?

[Flynn]

Clarification

Yeah, I should clarify.

The kids "who have everything but time" from their parents-- where it is a lifestyle choice, rather than a necessity to pay bills, know it. They know that they are not #1, #2, or #3, on the priority list and the reason they have so much "stuff" is guilt from their parents. They also know that one or both parents could cut their hours a bit to make room for other things or change their job to one less demanding but the adult would not even consider that option. Kids know this about their parents and the ones who aren't manipulating Mom and Dad to get the newest IPOD, resent the hell out of it. I've had so many parents ask me for advice on how to "impose consequences on their kid" when the parents aren't home to enforce them. It's like they don't make the connection with Ds in school and two parents who leave the house at 6 and come home at 8. They also don't understand why "Johnny" is acting out "when he has everything he wants." He wants attention from the adults he loves, NOT STUFF. He gets attention if he is bad, ignored if he is good.

On a related topic, I think some adults don't believe they have to be around as much when they have kids who can drive, work, and be more independent. It's as if the parents have done their job and are almost finished with the "raising the kid" thing. WRONG! Having at least one parent (not necessarily home, but available) during the high school years is crucial to any child.

Finally, all too often, high school students who thought they were better off financially than many of their peers, find out when applying for college that their parents don't really own a thing, nor do they have any savings. The student is forced to take out huge loans or go to the state school if they can get in, and take out smaller loans. These are the same kids who are allowed to go on thousand dollar shopping sprees once a month.

I know these are just my experiences and I have only taught at three different schools in one state, but despite the differences betwen these schools, these elements unfortunately stayed the same -- to a lesser degree in one out of the three schools.

Flynn

[Flynn]

Clarification

Yeah, I should clarify.

The kids "who have everything but time" from their parents-- where it is a lifestyle choice, rather than a necessity to pay bills, know it. They know that they are not #1, #2, or #3, on the priority list and the reason they have so much "stuff" is guilt from their parents. They also know that one or both parents could cut their hours a bit to make room for other things or change their job to one less demanding but the adult would not even consider that option. Kids know this about their parents and the ones who aren't manipulating Mom and Dad to get the newest IPOD, resent the hell out of it. I've had so many parents ask me for advice on how to "impose consequences on their kid" when the parents aren't home to enforce them. It's like they don't make the connection with Ds in school and two parents who leave the house at 6 and come home at 8. They also don't understand why "Johnny" is acting out "when he has everything he wants." He wants attention from the adults he loves, NOT STUFF. He gets attention if he is bad, ignored if he is good.

On a related topic, I think some adults don't believe they have to be around as much when they have kids who can drive, work, and be more independent. It's as if the parents have done their job and are almost finished with the "raising the kid" thing. WRONG! Having at least one parent (not necessarily home, but available) during the high school years is crucial to any child.

Finally, all too often, high school students who thought they were better off financially than many of their peers, find out when applying for college that their parents don't really own a thing, nor do they have any savings. The student is forced to take out huge loans or go to the state school if they can get in, and take out smaller loans. These are the same kids who are allowed to go on thousand dollar shopping sprees once a month.

I know these are just my experiences and I have only taught at three different schools in one state, but despite the differences betwen these schools, these elements unfortunately stayed the same -- to a lesser degree in one out of the three schools.

Flynn

[mommax3]

I just heard a statistic that was relevant to the question that Rapunzel asked re: what do private schools do with all the money they charge?

Our school just had a program that was a combination 50th anniversary celebration and an enrollment/re-enrollment kickoff. They had a PowerPoint presentation that gave some statistics about the financial well-being of the school, and as they went through that, they mentioned that private schools receive only 71% of their operating costs through the tuition they charge (national average). Our particular school receives 74% of their costs through tuition....the rest is covered by donations, fundraising, and parents being willing to volunteer their time throughout the year.

Just thought I should throw that in!

Sally

[Auspicious]

Yeah, I should clarify.

Ok, I see, thanks. (And by and large I agree.)

[SueC]

Sally,
I just read a similar statistic for our church school--they are having a fundraiser and pointed out they only receive 85% of their operating costs from tuition and the rest comes from donations. I found that interesting--I'd love to see a breakdown of how much it actually costs to run a private school. I'm sure my church isn't making some huge profit at the expense of the church school.
BTW, I find this whole topic interesting. I have little input as we are just in the process of looking at schools, but think its terrific that everyone (whichever type of schooling they have selected) has obviously put a lot of thought into their children's education. If only all parents could be so conscientious!