BF question

[houseelf]

I have a question and I need answers from someone who has been there/done that.

I plan to breastfeed again for as long as possible. With my first kid, I was an attachment parent on crack. I fed him on demand for a year and didn't give him a bottle until six weeks for fear of nipple confusion. While I really want to bf again, I don't think that I can keep up this demanding lifestyle while caring for myself, my four year old, and DH. Do you think that I would sabatoge breastfeeding if I introduced bottle feeding once a day very early on, like in the second week of life? Ideally, I would like for DH to do the midnight feeding by bottle and then I would BF for the next feeding and all the rest. Is this realistic or am I setting myself for failure. While I love BF, I just don't know if I can do it all by myself again.

What do you think?

Kelly

[PrincessFiona]

My opinion is that if you are going to breastfeed that you should try to do so exclusively for the first 6 weeks at least to prevent nipple confusion..Supplementing feeds with a bottle (again in my opinion) reduces milk supply even if you are pumping...a pump doesn't stimulate the breast like a baby does and so you end up producing less milk.


At the end of the day, you'll have to do what works best for you and for your family and I don't think anyone should have that final say but you....but I do think that breastfeeding exclusively for at least 6 weeks will go a long way to preventing nipple confusion and maintaining milk supply. Usually when people begin replacing a bottle (even if it is pumped) with a nursing session the weaning has begun.

My opinion.



kris

[houseelf]

Kris,

You are supposed to tell me what I want to hear, not the cold hard truth. Alright, as soon as the initial four week period is over, seanycakes gets the midnight feeding. I am just not a nice human being when I am sleep deprived.

Kelly

Kelly,
I probablly won't tell you what you want to hear either. Anna is not quite two weeks, and I don't think I could physically stand to skip a feeding b/c of the engorgement. Maybe in another week or two? I know, the sleep deprivation sucks and it does bad things to me too.
I am less concerned about the nipple confusion as Anna latches on very well and is also using a pacifier sometimes with no problems (a bottle may be different though).
Here's what we are doing -- I go to bed at 9p and get up around 7:30a. Eric gets up with Bryn (around 6a) and lets me sleep in. (A special thanks goes out to the research fellowship schedule). I am up a few times during the night, but since I am going to bed early and sleeping later it's not too bad. And that way only one of us suffers from the lack of sleep. We have also tried having me just feed and then have Eric change diaper/get her back to sleep which kind of worked too.

I wished I had introduced a bottle to my girls earlier than 4 weeks. There was no nipple confusion whatsoever, plain and simple they wanted no part of the bottle and never did. I BF exclusively Q3-4 around the clock with each of them one for 15 months and the other for 17 months. I have still not recovered.

[PrincessFiona]

The thing is, Kelly. There is nothing wrong with starting the bottlefeeds from day one if that is what you want...so don't misinterpret what I'm saying. I just know you and what you want...so that's where I'm coming from.

I nursed all of my children and I have to say that what keeps me sane about getting up at night is breastfeeding. There is nothing in the world easier than (excuse me, Matt) flopping out a breast and letting baby go back to sleep I'm way too lazy to bottlefeed be it formula or pumped breastmilk...plain and simple.

Aidan is almost 3 months old now and I really don't feel sleep deprived...overwhelmed..ummmm, yes. Exhausted....yes...but not from sleep deprivation...more from mommy overload

Kelly, don't worry about this...sorry girlfriend...you are NOT going to be able to plan how this baby takes to the breast or bottle, how many times he/she gets up each night and sadly, whether or not seanycakes will get up at night.......you just have to roll with the punches here. I mean...Aidan refuses to take a bottle or a pacifier...period. Like Trisha said..there is no nipple confusion..he wants the nipple and that's all there is to it. I have 4 children and he is my first child to refuse a pacifier or a bottle of breastmilk. They are all different. Just relax and enjoy this pregnancy and don't worry about the night feedings just yet

I'm right around the corner and I'm happy to take baby to give you some time off if you need it!!!

kris

[houseelf]

Well the good news is that I may be able to take an extended maternity leave with my employer so this should help to establish a good BF relationship. (My boss even talked to me this morning about taking the full six months!!!! YIPEE!!! Can you envision my pregnant body doing cartwheels as you read this! Who cares that it will be unpaid. WOOPEE!!)

Back to the subject at hand, I loved the bf relationship even though it can be exhausting and limiting. In truth, I cried the last few times I nursed my son because it was so special to me. I guess that I am just looking for ways to integrate the best of breastfeeding and my personal and family needs. Maybe what I need to tell myself is that it is just for a short, precious period of time that things are so intense.

RE: the pacifier thing. We gave our son a pacifier from day one and yet he continued to be a zealous breastfeeder for a year. In fact, he would cry if he even saw an empty bottle on the counter! When I had to go to work, he would drink just enough at my sitter's house from a bottle of pumped milk and nurse all night long to compensate. My sitter has very few kids in her daycare and my son adores her, but he only wanted mommy's breast. If I'm reading you guys right, I guess that we will just have to see what preferences this new one has. Each kid is different, right?

Kelly

Maybe what I need to tell myself is that it is just for a short, precious period of time that things are so intense.

That is what I am telling myself! It really is a short period of time, though. I'm already getting into more of a routine and I don't feel quite as....shell-shocked...as last time. Maybe just see how it goes?

[SueC]

I think it depends on the baby. If he or she is a great nurser, then there probably wouldn't be any harm done by offering a bottle, even as frequently as once a day. I personally only do exclusive nursing in the very beginning, but its partially out of laziness. It's just easier to whip it out then prepare a bottle and in the beginning, missing a feeding can cause so much discomfort from engorgement. I always say I'm going to pump once a day so my husband can partake in the feeding experience, but somehow it never seems to happen! That said, both of my girls were forced to take a bottle at a pretty early age. Sydney had to do it her first week of life because she was in the NICU (pneumonia) and with a 20 month old at home I just couldn't be there for every feeding. Once I got her home I did nurse exclusively except for the occasions when I left for more than a couple of hours. She ended up being a fantastic nurser and was for the entire first year. Her sister had to take a bottle at 8 weeks because I was in the hospital (had to have my gall bladder out)--once she got me back she would have nothing but the breast so it was really hard to leave her for more than a couple of hours at a time. I kind of wish I had somehow kept her at least somewhat open to bottle feeding just so I would have a little more freedom. For this baby, I'll probably nurse exclusively as well--I don't think my husband is dyeing to feed the baby anyway and I tend to go to sleep while nursing anyway, so it'll actually be easier that way.

[Phoebe]

I think the nursing issue is of personal preference depending on the mother and the baby. In my experience each child is different. With both of my kids, we introduced bottles right away for a couple of reasons because my husband wanted to be apart of the feeding (the first child) and because I don't feel comfortable nursing in public. Whenever a bottle was given, I pumped as close to the feeding as I could. I was concerned about the milk supply decreasing with more pumping though.

Avery refused to nurse after 4 months and would only drink from a bottle so breastfeeding didn't last very long after that. Ella is more of a demand feeder and decided she doesn't like bottles or formula very much. It is easier to nurse the second time around because I am more comfortable with it and I am at home full time while I wasn't full Avery. I agree that night time feedings are so much easier with breastfeeding.
DH and his colleagues have had parents demand feeding tubes put in their babies to avoid any bottle feeding and possible nipple confusion while their baby stays in the NICU. It frustrates him that parents would rather have an NG tube put in their kid instead of a simple bottle feeding. They say there isn't any such thing as nipple confusion.

Kelly, I think you will figure out what works for you and the baby. Things have a way of working themselves out.

Jennifer

[Sheherezade]

My children were both bottle fed for day 2 and 3 of their lives due to high bilirubin levels (and my young mom gullability, but that's another story) and vigorously returned to the breast . In fact with both weaning was a nightmare accomplished after 2 solid years of breast feeding '8O' . So for us, we had no nipple confusion issues.... I think it depends on what kind of nursers you get and how your own milk production goes. As for the night feedings and sleep deprivation, I have to tell you I slept with my babies and after the first six weeks we had this nursing thing down so well I didn't know how often they got up....it was kind of a "self serve" situation''

Angie

This is all good when you are the mom and at home.

[Sheherezade]

Matt-

No problems with nipple confusion for you???''

Angie

[Flynn]

I think it depends on the baby. If he or she is a great nurser, then there probably wouldn't be any harm done by offering a bottle, even as frequently as once a day. I personally only do exclusive nursing in the very beginning, but its partially out of laziness.

I completely agree. One problem with introducing the bottle so late (after 6 weeks) in my opinion, is that they may refuse it. It happened with us and my daughter would not take a bottle until she was over 8 months old. We tried everything short of torture! (kidding!) She eventually took one when we were weaning her a bit and I really liked having the choice of breast feeding or bottle feeding.

Her refusal of the bottle was really difficult because I always had to be reasonably close regardless of needing some independent time. On baby #2 I plan on introducing a bottle once a day as early as two weeks and see what happens. What happend the first time around was too taxing not to try it differently this time.

Again though, I think it really depends on the baby. I am glad I exclusively breast fed my daughter -- she's had two insignificant colds in over 15 months but having a one bottle a day as an option is AWESOME.

Just my thoughts.

Flynn