sharing the news

[houseelf]

We haven't told our four year old that he will be a big brother late this summer. We are going to wait until we are further along in the pregnancy to tell him because a few months seems like forever in his young life. Do you guys have any suggestions on how to prepare him for his impending big brotherhood?

Kelly

Kelly, if you don't mind your son playing with dolls (I know some people, including my husband - it's a male thing, find it a bit unsettling), I suggest getting him a baby one complete with hole for drinking and weeing. We did that and it seemed to give my daughter something to do alongside while I was feeding/changing diapers.

The other thing is you can go to the bookstore and get something like "The Miracle of Life" that shows photos of the developing baby. You can share it with him and point out in the book at the different stages your own baby is in and your son and 'see' his new sibling develop.

[PrincessFiona]

I think it is so much fun introducing them to the idea that they will be having a sibling!!! Make it a really special affair for you guys....whenever you decide the time is right.

We made our oldest official big helpers, and did many of the things that ThuVan suggested (ummm...without the weeing babydoll ) We also let them come to ultrasound appointments and come to the occasional ob appt. to hear the heartbeat.....they ate that up!!!

Cade is going to be a great big brother, Kelly..and when you guys do tell him, I think he is going to be so excited...he's been asking for a sibling for awhile!!!!

As to actually preparing him...that's sort of like asking how we can prepare oursleves for the impending sleeplessness, etc, etc.....At the end of the day, it will be hard for him to share you, etc..but you are a great mom and I think that you will navigate through that when it comes just fine!!

I'm so excited about this baby.....when can I know the sex so that I can start shopping????

kris

kris

Well, having gone through this recently too....
We told Bryn at the end of the first trimester -- around the same time that we told everyone else. I didn't want someone to spill the beans and have her be totally confused.
It is a LONG time in their little lives to wait! I made the mistake of telling her it would be in the winter and when it was snowy outside. So....what does she ask after the first snowstorm? When we got closer to the due date, she liked to know how many weeks away it would be. I don't think she totally gets the concept of "7 weeks" but she does know that 5 weeks is less than 7 so that helped.
We just talked about the baby A LOT. That new babies just eat and sleep and pee/poop. And that is about it. They can't play for a while. We set up the crib about 2 months beforehand and started putting baby clothes, diapers, etc. in the dresser.
She really liked seeing her own baby pictures and having us tell her about what she was like as a newborn.
After Anna arrived, we gave her a big sister present from Anna. We also gave her a little photo album with pictures of her and the baby to take to school. That way she got to show off being a big sister without having the little sister around!

[mommax3]

I agree with everything that has been said so far. Just a warning, though....I tried giving my oldest a doll when the second one was on the way.....I built it up big time and even made sure I got a doll that was wearing blue jammies since we were expecting another boy. My son took one look at it and said "mommy, dolls are for grills" and that was the end of that. I got my second one a cabbage patch doll for the same reason when we were expecting Nathan, and all he did was take all its clothes off and leave it, looking forlorn, in different corners of the house. So good luck with the doll thing!

My boys loved to see pictures of developing babies...did Thu Van mention the book "A Child Is Born"? That is what we had....we also used the book lunatic mentioned. We also tried to let the boys hear our baby's heartbeat at a prenatal visit.....but the best thing was to show them pictures of when they were babies. This was also comforting to them after the new baby came because they could see that once upon a time, they had gotten the lion's share of the attention just like the new baby was currently getting.

As far as when to tell, I would just make sure that he hears it from you before he picks it up otherwise, either by overhearing or whatever.

Sally

[SueC]

My husband told our girls about the baby (after we had just decided over dinner we would wait to tell them) on the same day I told him--when I was only a couple of weeks pregnant! So, it's been an eternity for them-- I think you are wise to wait a little bit. I keep showing them with my hands how big the baby is now and then how big the baby needs to be, so they do understand that it's not time yet, but I wish we'd waited at least till I was out of the first trimester!
We bought a book called "I'm a Big Sister" when we were expecting Sydney (they have a brother version also) that I mean to break out again, and we bought Sydney a realistic looking baby doll that has definitely peaked her interest in having a new baby. They've been to the doctor with me to hear the heartbeat and see the ultrasound, and although Syd is a little young to really understand, Maya gets it and is very excited! I also took Maya with me to help me pick out baby clothes, and she really enjoyed that as well. We talk to her about how she will need to teach her little sister how to be a big sister, and we really use the "helper" approach that seems to make all the difference in the world.
I'm sure your son is going to be thrilled when he finds out he is getting a new baby brother or sister! I really don't think you can give them a better gift than a sibling!