school volunteering

[mommax3]

If you have ever been in a classroom with thirty kids who are *all* sharpening their pencils at the beginning of the year, you will understand why they ask for sharpened pencils. 😉

Obviously, I have been on both sides of this issue, but I have to say that as a veteran of multiple public and private schools, I have never seen a list for one grade level that was 4 pages long. 😳 Maybe when you take into account that different grade levels need different things, the supply list for a K-6 school might have multiple pages?

Private school lists were longer and more specific in my experience, but mostly I have found the lists to be reasonable. When specific brand names are asked for, it is because the quality is better. I know for a fact that Expo dry erase markers are lots easier to erase and clean off of white boards than are the other cheaper brands.

Just a little perspective.

[ladymoreta]

I think part of the reason for the required brand name supplies is that they put them all in one (or a few) bins, and all the kids just use them from the bin. Drives my mom crazy - she says it's brainwashing them into communism.

[PrincessFiona]

I get what some are saying that it seems like the village is stepping up, but at the same time, my time as a mom is limited. The expectations are so high. I have acted as a classroom volunteer, and I certainly appreciate the job that volunteers can do. At the same time, I have experienced feelings of burnout and resentment because I have so much to do to keep our family life going. We pay very high taxes and donate each year to the schools. It feels like it never ends. I "donate" my time with my kids to drive them to Kung Fu, ballet, Orchestra, Violin, and soccer. I donate more while I wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry. I consider it a supreme donation that I grocery shop for them and make meals. I'm all "donated" out. I resent the idea that once my kids are in school, I'm expected to show up myself and read with other parent's children, cut and copy papers, etc. I'm tired.

I'm sure my opinion is in the minority. I don't apologize for it. Like I said, I DO volunteer. I just don't do it from a place of love anymore.

Kris

[spotty_dog]

Um...can we revisit this?

In kindergarten the teacher wanted parents to come just for the 30 minute reading group session. I went every other week. In first grade I had more free time. I went every Wednesday afternoon; originally I committed to 12:30-1:30, but as a sucker I inevitably stayed until math time was over at 2pm.

Today I got a call from the kindergarten teacher. As the Monday afternoon volunteer parent, she would like for me to be in the classroom...from 12:30 until 3:30. Um...how 'bout NO. I feel selfish, but I only *get* two days per week! That is precious time. I'll go tomorrow but I'll tell her that after this I'm only showing up for reading group time. :\

What kind of time commitment are y'all being asked for?

[houseelf]

In first grade, my daughter's class had at least one parent volunteer each day class was in session. Parents run recess and lunch and are asked to donate one lunch period of time per month. Parents fundraise. I am running the concession stand at the Varsity soccer game on Saturday (each family was asked to take two shifts). There is a free after school tutoring program that HS students run for volunteer hours. Their are wish lists that are posted that people buy and donate.

I know I'm cranky about this, but it is kind of ridic. Yes, I'm more than a little grumpy about it. It sounds disingenious because "its for the kids!" and specifically my kids benefit from attending the top ranked school in the state, but it feels over the top. Of course this district performs well, the entire village is committed to success at every turn.

sincerely,

Cranky mommy

[alison]

There are 16 kids in dd's kindergarten class. There are 4 teachers when they've got reading or math. They divide the class into 4 reading/math levels, and each teacher takes 4 kids. It's AWESOME and as close as you'll get to individualized attention.

When they've got writing, however, there are only 2 teachers, so in addition to them, they are asking for 4 more parent volunteers (just on Thursdays, and just for 30 minutes) for helping dictate what the kids want to write for their stories.

I realize dd goes to a private school, where they have the resources ($$$) for it, but I do think the kids at such a young age (kinder-2nd) really do need more individualized/level-appropriate attention, and if they can get a parent volunteer in to fill that niche, then it's really helpful. That's probably why they're trying to see how much time you're able to volunteer.

[migirl]

In my kids' school, parents just sign up for whatever they can manage. Lots of parents have jobs and can't volunteer during school hours, and it's fine. This year I've committed to helping out during library time for both my boys' classes, which - because we have so many other parent volunteers in the rotation - works out to an hour or two a month.

There's no way I would commit to 3 hours every single week!

[spotty_dog]

In first grade, my daughter's class had at least one parent volunteer each day class was in session. Parents run recess and lunch and are asked to donate one lunch period of time per month. Parents fundraise. I am running the concession stand at the Varsity soccer game on Saturday (each family was asked to take two shifts). There is a free after school tutoring program that HS students run for volunteer hours. Their are wish lists that are posted that people buy and donate.

I know I'm cranky about this, but it is kind of ridic. Yes, I'm more than a little grumpy about it. It sounds disingenious because "its for the kids!" and specifically my kids benefit from attending the top ranked school in the state, but it feels over the top. Of course this district performs well, the entire village is committed to success at every turn.

sincerely,

Cranky mommy

Yeah, you started the thread with this, and I do see that it's quite a deluge of people chipping in to what maybe should be a more self-sustaining system. But my son's kindergarten class had an average of two parents every day, which didn't seem excessive -- because they were there for a half hour each, which meant a total of 1 hour per day with a second set of hands on deck in the classroom. Are you saying the first grade parents, when the classrooms had a parent every day, were there from beginning to end of the school day? Because this expectation from DD's teacher that I'll be there for three freaking hours has thrown me for a huge loop. Not gonna lie, DH has been off for the past week and I love the family time but this afternoon with him at work and the kids at school was going to be my time to recharge the ol' introvert batteries. Now it's looking like I will send DH off at 11:45, clean house for 45 minutes, and head to school to face being on kid-duty (including Other People's Kids!) until bedtime. Ack.

Speaking of which, if I don't get out for my walk now it's not going to happen...

[Chrisada]

school volunteering

I don't see a problem with all the volunteering. I guess I'm thinking of all of the schools that are failing because of no parental support. Do what you can. If you don't want to volunteer, then don't. I've always been active in my kids schools and feel very fortunate that other parents are as active too. But I'm pretty sure your kid won't get kicked out if you decline to volunteer.


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[spotty_dog]

I don't see a problem with all the volunteering. I guess I'm thinking of all of the schools that are failing because of no parental support. Do what you can. If you don't want to volunteer, then don't. I've always been active in my kids schools and feel very fortunate that other parents are as active too. But I'm pretty sure your kid won't get kicked out if you decline to volunteer.

It's a point of pride for me and for my community that we have very involved families. From co-op preschool to PTA to sports Boosters to the senior night graduation party fundraising group, parents here support their kids with time and money even though we're not a very affluent community.

But what's appropriate? I know many of the other families on the kindergarten volunteer list. They have infants or preschoolers at home, they work 1-2 jobs and/or go to school full-time themselves. Should they be expected to spend 3/14 of the hours their kids are in school, in school with them?

I was mentally banking on 5-7 hours per kid per month, between classroom time and PTA. This has worked out for me for the past two years. I guess I'm just wondering where other schools' and classrooms' expectations are, and where (if) other parents draw the line.

[Chrisada]

school volunteering

I guess I'm looking at it as if you think it's too much for you, then you just e-mail the teacher and tell her what you're able to. I used to volunteer every Wed. for several hours. The teacher knew I'd be there. I enjoyed it. Now as the mother of an infant, things have changed. Appropriate volunteer time is however much or little you choose to do. Am I missing something?


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[spotty_dog]

I guess I'm looking at it as if you think it's too much for you, then you just e-mail the teacher and tell her what you're able to. I used to volunteer every Wed. for several hours. The teacher knew I'd be there. I enjoyed it. Now as the mother of an infant, things have changed. Appropriate volunteer time is however much or little you choose to do. Am I missing something?

I think it was just the way the teacher called me at home last night to confirm my "Monday afternoon" time slot and I asked, "What time do you need me?" and she replied, "From 12:30 to 3:30." I had signed up to help with reading small groups, which I knew would be about 30 minutes. Did she tell all the parents she *needed* them for that much time? I guess I feel selfish, because I *do* technically have that time available. But I don't wanna. If you told your kid's teacher you were available during your MDO time, and they said, "Great, we need you to come from 9-12," would you say you couldn't? Or you just didn't want to? Am I a pushover? Don't answer that, I know I'm a total sucker for not piping up while she was still on the phone. (She doesn't seem to do email.)

I am going for the whole time today, and I'm going to enjoy it. I love working with the kids, and I miss some of my little preschool friends that I haven't seen all summer, and I know I can be really useful in the classroom. This age group is totally my bag, baby. Plus I am looking forward to getting a feel for how the classroom is working out for DD. But I'm going to tell the teacher I can't do the whole afternoon every week. I'm thinking 1-1.5 hours, depending on what I see in the class and where I might be most useful. That way I can also offer some time to the second grade class. I just can't stop feeling a little selfish...and yet taken aback by the presumption that anyone with school-age kids and younger would easily join in for almost 1/4 of their kids' school hours...and yet selfish.

[Chrisada]

Well, I think you opened up that can of worms when you asked "how long do you need me" instead of "I can come for x amount of time." I have no problem telling teachers how long I'm available for. And telling people "no" if I can't do something. I'll be volunteering a small amount of time in the library. They had 3 hour slots I think, I flat out told her I could do 1 hour, not 3, and she was very happy to take that.


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[diggitydot]

I've done a metric shit ton of classroom volunteering. In my experiences, some teachers will push as much as possible for reliable, solid volunteers to spend as much time as possible in their classrooms.

FWIW, I stopped volunteering when multiple people in DS' elementary school began taking my time for granted and made assumptions on my availability and schedule. One morning or afternoon a week turned into assuming I would be available everyday, all day for whatever they wanted and at a moment's notice. I don't swing that way. I like volunteering, but I don't like being used as an employee.

I'm REALLY a glad that our youngest is in middle school. Far less need for classroom volunteers at this level.

[spotty_dog]

Well, I think you opened up that can of worms when you asked "how long do you need me" instead of "I can come for x amount of time." I have no problem telling teachers how long I'm available for. And telling people "no" if I can't do something. I'll be volunteering a small amount of time in the library. They had 3 hour slots I think, I flat out told her I could do 1 hour, not 3, and she was very happy to take that.

Yeah, definitely I carried my assumptions too far when I thought she was not going to ask for more than 30 minutes (like DS's kindy teacher) and then had too little backbone when she asked for more than I wanted to give. Thanks to you and DD for sharing your experiences, I had no idea that spending an afternoon a week was a typical thing. I guess I am just super protective of my time, and/or spoiled by actually having some this year! We'll see what today holds...I'm off!