I was that Mom yesterday

[PrincessFiona]

I had take Zoe to her violin lesson. The whole way there, she prattled on demanding that I play guessing games. She changed the rules mid-game multiple times and excitedly talked to me about her day and the game. Her lesson was full of more of the same. It takes place in her teacher's house and the teacher always includes the parents. I started feeling over-stimulated by kid stuff. On the way home, we had to stop by WalMart to get pumpkins and a costume for Alex. She talked and talked and talked. I felt like my head was going to explode. We were standing in the costume aisle and I was reaching down to look at a Whoopie Cushion costume for Alex and I tuned her out. She asked me what to do about a costume that had come out of a bag (sigh) and I told her to just put it down. Dissatisfied by my lack of attention, she turned to the good mom next to me and demanded her help. The woman was sweet and kind to Zoe and helped her get the costume back into the bag while giving me dirty looks.

Yah. I felt like hell. You know she was posting on FB or message forums about the crappy mom she met.

I just couldn't listen to another second of chatter and so I missed it.

I left feeling like I shouldn't be a mom some days.

Kris

[diggitydot]

I was that Mom yesterday

Be gentle with yourself. We've all done it or will do it. It's NBD, really. And honestly, if she's a judgey asshole, who fucking cares what she thinks anyway?

[MrsK]

I'm always that mom and I just don't give a damn what strangers think. If they are honest with themselves, the good moms know that they get a turn at being "that mom" too. We've just got to back each other up without judging.

[PrincessFiona]

I know in a similar situation, I wouldn't judge the mom. Ha. How could I? I think I'm generally feeling down on my mothering lately and Zoe is presenting a challenge to my patience. Lately she is very demanding and intentionally argumentative with me. Sometimes at night she picks something to be offended about and tries to fight with me by accusing me of being callous, unkind, unfriendly, or picking Aidan over her. "You never say x to Aidan. You love him more.; you always push me to the side and don't let me lay on your side of the bed; you never want to read this book with me; you are always unfriendly to me." None of the things are remotely true. It's getting old. She goes all out and cries over it and everything. It's ridiculous. So .. I'm really becoming impatient and a little burned out. This child that I adore ... the princess in my heart is pushing me to a place of frustration.

And some moms judge. I listen all the time even on this website to people who do the "I would never" dance. It's hard to put yourself in someone else's shoes sometimes.

But I feel I'm beating up on myself. I need a vacation!

[MrsK]

Yeah, the pearl clutching judgy judys are the worst. They are probably just insecure and don't have people who let them be honest. Just today, my Facebook status was "Who are these mythical women that never yell at their kids?" I mean, I'm so sick of mom bloggers who claim to be honest confessing that they raised their voices for the first time ever notwithstanding that they have four kids. I call BS. Every one is "that mom" sometimes.

[PrincessFiona]

I know. I have a friend who posts every single day on FB about how bad other moms are. She calls them her daily rants. It's always "if you are a unhappy mom, maybe you should raise a child who can do their own laundry .. my kid has done his since he was 5 ..." She constantly addresses "those moms" and half the time, I see myself in her comments. Then she posts a positive rant where she shows pictures/tells stories of what a good mom she is. It's disgusting. The funny thing? I worked with her and happen to know that she got a DUI and was mandated to go to AA by the courts. She is no perfect little peach ... yet she acts like she is God's gift to motherhood. Just writing this makes me feel like deleting her.

[MrsK]

She sounds like a jackass.

[spotty_dog]

At the very least unfollow her. I've unfollowed several people who post stuff that gets my hackles up, and it's made Facebook a much nicer place to be and I can still be nosy and poke into their business on *my* terms.

[Ladybug]

Words that flew out of my mouth today, "Oh, for the love of Pete, JUST.SHUT.UP." They were such authentic feelings and they flew out of my mouth before I could censor. I can't tell you how annoying it is to listen to my kids all day long. It's not good or bad mommy. They interrupt every thought I have. I swear they have induced ADD on me. Right now I feel very angry and resentful towards them and their constant needs. I'm on serious mommy burn out. It's crazy making.

[MrsK]

Words that flew out of my mouth today, "Oh, for the love of Pete, JUST.SHUT.UP." They were such authentic feelings and they flew out of my mouth before I could censor. I can't tell you how annoying it is to listen to my kids all day long. It's not good or bad mommy. They interrupt every thought I have. I swear they have induced ADD on me. Right now I feel very angry and resentful towards them and their constant needs. I'm on serious mommy burn out. It's crazy making.

I laughed out loud when I read this. It's funny because it's true!

[Thirteen]

Words that flew out of my mouth today, "Oh, for the love of Pete, JUST.SHUT.UP." They were such authentic feelings and they flew out of my mouth before I could censor. I can't tell you how annoying it is to listen to my kids all day long. It's not good or bad mommy. They interrupt every thought I have. I swear they have induced ADD on me. Right now I feel very angry and resentful towards them and their constant needs. I'm on serious mommy burn out. It's crazy making.

I am so so glad I am not the only one.
"Just stop. Just stop talking. I need quiet."

:-/


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[PrincessFiona]

Words that flew out of my mouth today, "Oh, for the love of Pete, JUST.SHUT.UP." They were such authentic feelings and they flew out of my mouth before I could censor. I can't tell you how annoying it is to listen to my kids all day long. It's not good or bad mommy. They interrupt every thought I have. I swear they have induced ADD on me. Right now I feel very angry and resentful towards them and their constant needs. I'm on serious mommy burn out. It's crazy making.

I'm feeling angry and resentful now too. Honestly, I'm hanging on by a fingernail this week. I know it will get better again soon. Right now the needs just overwhelm me. I think my oldest two are the biggest drains with the most demands. I love them fiercely and feel resentful and angry that their needs basically suck me dry. Each child needs my time, attention, energy, and focus. I do my best to listen, help, understand, fix, and comfort ... and then I walk down a grocery aisle and have no idea why I'm there because I can't remember....I am exhausted, withdrawn and overwhelmed and there is no vacation to look forward to. Dh is working long hours and he is also worn out. He does his best to help, but he's just so busy.

I know this is just a parenting slump and that I'll find joy in parenting again soon. I've been in this place before. The stress will lift and I won't even remember this moment .... but right now. Ugh. I sure wish you all lived nearby and we could meet up, let the kids run wild and drink wine late into the night.

[alison]

Ladybug, you have 4! And you know what Dh and I say about people who have 4 kids? "They have DOUBLE as many kids as we have! Holy. Cow!" . I love your post.

Hang in there Kris. You're the patient, loving mom I would love to be!

[Ladybug]

DH and I are both totally over parenting right now. It'd our first time to hit this particular low place, and we're a decade deep. Holy shit it's so much work. We haven't even hit the teens. Hold us. We just want the weekends off.

[migirl]

I've actually told my oldest child that he has to stop talking bc he's making my ears hurt.

No judgement from here!