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Urggggh - Please help.

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  • Urggggh - Please help.

    Hi, it's me, Claudia. . .the gal who always posts inappropriate topics in the parenting forum because I am blocked out of the other forums. Ha ha. (Kris - it allows me to log in to the entire site but when I attempt to create a new post in another forum, it asks me to log in again. . .and then denies my password)

    Anyway, I need some advice on the most stressful endeavor to date: selling a house. OMG. I never imagined that selling a house would be this stressful. Our house has been on the market for 3.5 weeks now and we've had quite a number of walk-throughs but no offers. This has me sort of worried because people are obviously interested enough to come and see the place but something is preventing them from going further - which brings me to the dilemma. My husband, dear hard-working man that he is, does not have the time/energy/brain power to devote to the house projects. This stresses me out to no end because I see obvious things that should be done to the house to improve the appearance (he tells me that we will do them "soon" - well, what is the fricking point of doing them in a couple of weeks when either (a) no one is even looking at the house anymore and we have to drop the price or (b) someone has already bought the house. Here is a small list and please tell me what you think about these "repairs" - am I being overly anal-retentive (which is definitely a possibility)

    *the trim. Hubby is not a "neat" painter and some brightly colored paint travelled over to the white trim every here and there. I think we should, at minimum, paint over the blemishes and/or repaint the entire trim. They are not glaring blemishes but someone would definitely notice it if they were paying careful attention to the paint job. Well, hubby bought some white paint to repaint the bottom trim where he did some moulding work. . .it's not the same white. Yes. The previous color is an off-white and this is a stark white. He seems to think that this is OK until "later".

    *the side of the house. We have white brick so one side of the house has turned a mossy green over time. I think a nice wash would brighten this up and he agrees. Again, though, it can wait until "later".

    *cleanliness. I have kept the place as clean as possibly what with a 9.5 month old crawler. This is an area where I *am* admittedly overly OCD. But hubby seems to think that it's OK to leave a moving box full of grand rounds papers and books in the middle of the den. . .it's OK to leave mail and articles scattered all over the desk. . .it's OK to just haphazardly throw the bed quilt over the sheets. . .and OK to just toss the bath towels over the shower curtain. Not a big deal because I am here to fix the trail but my daughter and I are going on a trip in 2 weeks. I'm terrified to think of what the house will look like while we are gone. I *know* how tired he is when he comes home at 10pm and I know it's the last thing on his mind but. . .

    So what to do? Am I worrying for nothing? Or are these big issues that need to be dealt with? I've never sold a house before so I am admittedly ignorant. My husband has sold a condo but he sold it after he had moved out for several months. My parents who have sold many houses keep telling me that this stuff is very important. It is such an incredible source of stress for me because when I mention these issues to him, I receive the "it's fine. stop worrying. we'll do it later" and he acts like I'm overly anal. Yet I'm the one who is home having to leave the house when we have showings and feeling really bummed when we get no interest beyond that.

    Please help.

  • #2
    Unfortunately Claudia- I don't think you are being anal.

    The problem with people (in general) is that when they come to look at a house they have just left their house/apartment which is probably in the same messy state as all of our houses- and they want to live a fantasy that this- YOUR house, the neat and tidy house- will be PERFECT for them because you have no clutter and therefore THEY will have no clutter.

    I have also noticed that people sometimes have a problem with the vision-thing. You know, if you walk in to a house with 1972 silver lame wallpaper-some of us will say- jeez, the first thing I would do is rip down this wallpaper and paint this wall and tear down that wall and redo the floors... and an even greater majority would walk in and say- no f-ing way am I buying a house that has to have X,Y and Z done to it.

    Every realtor I have ever had said to try to keep your house model clean and neat because people have no imagination. (or no time/energy)

    Good luck and keep us posted.

    Jenn

    My ex and I lived in a great old row house that had zero closet space- the first thingout realtor did was tellus to clear outthe closets sothat they appeared to be larger. We ended up with a ton of stuff that lived at my in-laws for a number of weeks.

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    • #3
      Claudia, I feel your pain, with a twist and maybe not as stressful...yet.

      We haven't got our house on the market yet, but have been contemplating. We have had a couple meetings with realtors and are bracing for the unknown world of home sales, it will be our first as well.

      The twist is, I am the one who needs to fix, clean, paint and straighten things since DW is always working. I have to do this with a 4yr old assistant and an 11mth old attached to my back. So, I know where you are coming from with the kid vibe. I can only imagine what you are feeling like to have people rambling through your home.

      No, I don't think you are being anal about your "fix-its". Look at it through buyer eyes, this is hard since you have lived there, but if you look at it that way you will see what would make you say no thanks. As far as getting the help to get the things done, I am not so sure. I realize it is hard to do much with a 9mth old in tow. Maybe if you timed your attempts with the time when you DH was home he would help out some? Just an idea, that is all. If I lived closer I would help you out, I know what you are going through...I can see places on our walls needing touch up, a hole in the bathroom needing patched and some painting on the exterior to touch up...I feel your pain.

      Let us know how things are going, there are several of us with houses on/going on the market preparing for big moves! Good luck!

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      • #4
        Claudia,

        The first thing I would suggest is for you guys to ask your realtor to find out (if possible) what people's impressions have been of your house.....then you can go from there. Sometimes people don't give any feedback, or the feedback they give isn't helpful (i.e. they really wanted one more bedroom than you have or whatever) but there might be a comment or two that would help. Our realtor in San Antonio did a walk-through of our house about six months before we listed it and gave me his suggestions of things that would help it show better, which really helped! Has your realtor given you any suggestions? I ask because some of the things I was obsessing about in San Antonio were not even mentioned by the realtor and even when I brought them up, he seemed to think they were a non-issue.

        I don't think 3.5 weeks is that long for a house to be on the market, (unless you live in a really high-demand area) especially since this is just the beginning of the prime season for home-selling. About the trim.....could you take back the paint and get the right color? Would you have time during the baby's nap to touch up some places? If not, could you hire someone? It probably wouldn't take too long and thus wouldn't be too expensive. Same thing for the mossy stuff....see if you can hire somebody to power-wash that side of the house.

        About the clutter......have the realtor talk to your husband. Maybe he will keep his clutter somewhere else (in his trunk? ) if he hears from someone else that it is an issue.....we have been dealing with selective deafness around here lately, too!

        While you are gone.....sit down with your husband and ask him if you need to hire a cleaning service to come in during those two weeks. It might be worth it if he seriously does not have the energy to keep stuff picked up. Your realtor may be able to help you find someone to just straighten the house each day (rather than deep clean it) that wouldn't cost you too much.

        At the end of my husband's residency, he was dead tired, close to being burnt-out, and still working like a dog. If I didn't do it, it didn't get done, and I just had to accept that. Of course, with two little boys, a part-time job, and an advanced pregnancy, I was pretty tapped out too. We actually bought (charged, of course! ) a plane ticket for one of our best friends from Indiana to come down and fix a bunch of little stuff that needed done -- he owns a hardware store and can fix anything, unlike my husband, and I just went to Home Depot with him and paid for whatever he thought he needed. The cost of the plane ticket was probably less than what it would have cost in labor to have hired someone do all of that stuff. I also spent quite a bit on a cleaning service to come fairly regularly while our house was on the market......I was not up to doing deep cleaning as often as it needed to be done, especially because we had three long-haired indoor cats at the time 8O ! So if you feel like your husband is not going to get things done for whatever reason, give him a heads up and then take matters into your own hands.

        Good luck!

        Sally
        Wife of an OB/Gyn, mom to three boys, middle school choir teacher.

        "I don't know when Dad will be home."

        Comment


        • #5
          Claudia -- You are about 3.5 weeks ahead of us.
          The sign just went up on our front lawn today.

          I agree with the above comments. Look at your house through buyers' eyes. Also, ask your real estate agent for feedback. From my understanding, the agents viewing your home should respond to your agent's questions. As Sally said, some feedback will be more helpful than others, but I think this is a common courtesy in the profession. Have you asked your agent about the paint trim and the mossy wall?

          Some of the fix-ups we were planning changed in priority based on what our realtor said. For example, she thought it was much more important to give the paint on the outside of the house a touch-up than touching up some parts of the trim in the house. That might help. Can you hire someone to do this stuff? It probably wouldn't cost a whole lot. Ditto for a house cleaner. We just splurged on that because there is NO WAY we can keep the house sufficiently clean with a 2 month old baby, 3.5 yo trinket addict, and a shedding labrador.

          I agree with Jenn about the clutter. People (myself included!) like to tell themselves that "things will be different" in a new house. "I'm really going to be organized this time! Yes, sir!" Of course, we know how that turns out....But if they see tidy closets and organized storage space, they see the potential. I think that even if it means tossing everything in a box, closing the top, and putting it in the garage (in a non-clutter way) -- that's what you need to do. It will just look like you are getting ready to move.

          Moving is not easy! I hope your house sells soon. 3.5 weeks doesn't sound too bad to me. Let us know when you get a contract.

          Comment


          • #6
            I can comment from the buyer's perspective, perhaps... THe houses that "showed" the best when we were househunting about 1 year ago were those that had obviously had lots of stuff moved to a temporary storage place. ONe house in particular had like 5 kids (!!!!) but only a few beanie baby toys neatly organized on one of the many bunk beds... The living room, which was small, only had a couch and a armoire-type entertainment center. This effort by the sellers really made the place look much bigger than it was, and it was tempting to go for it, but we ended up buying a place that didn't really show well, but we were up for home improvement projects and it had the square footage we wanted. Anyway, I think that when it comes our time, I will pack up as much as possible (especially toys!) and use that to make our place seem bigger. We are already doing lots of home improvement stuff, and we have lots to do, but every project is scheduled around my husband's breaks from school, so it's better to plan ahead for me! Anyway, I think it's a great suggestion to get someone to come in and clean, and to hire out someone with a pressure washer to clean the side of the house. Good luck!!! Where are you? Is 3.5 weeks a long time?
            Peggy

            Aloha from paradise! And the other side of training!

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            • #7
              I just thought of a few things that helped us get our house ready to sell.

              The Mr. Clean Magic Erasers (thank you, Dagny!!!) were the difference between having to repaint or not on some walls. These things remove dirt, marks, just about everything from the walls and don't seem to damage the paint. Huge time saver and it made the house look cleaner.

              Yesterday we had our windows professionally cleaned. It was worth every penny. It took two people about 2.5 hours to do it. There is no way that either of us had 5 hours to do the job they did. It really makes a difference. You don't really notice how dirty the windows are until they are clean.

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              • #8
                Thanks for the advice and tips. I "discussed" these issues with my hubby last night and it just fell on deaf ears. Oh well. What else can I do? He thinks our house is perfect and it is perfect. . .for us. NOT for potential buyers. I'm going to need to practice deep-breathing for the next few months. In all seriousness, I really don't know what to do. I either ignore the obvious flaws and pray that some blind chap will buy our house or I go absolutely hormonal/ape@*(& on my hubby and get the balls rolling for people to come and fix the place. ?????

                Comment


                • #9
                  How pressured are you to sell? (Time-wise) I'm thinking that maybe your husband hasn't had enough time yet to panic--maybe he'll be thinking the same way in a few weeks?
                  Could you have the realtor talk to the two of you about lowering the price OR doing the fixing up? I know my husband has selective blindness; he doesn't see flaws that would take too much time and energy to fix. Still, he simply couldn't swallow the idea of taking less money very easily. We sold two houses for less than we should have because we needed to do some big jobs and we had no money/time. Both times, when it came down to the price being lowered, my husband was suddenly motivated. Still money held us up----we were really on a shoestring budget. With the second house we did some fix ups before and bundled some into a price reduction for the buyer (X amount, with 3,000 off to install A/C or some such thing). I think that works if what your prospective buyers are thinking is "I love this place but it has this one flaw...." I think you'd be better off talking to your realtor and letting them pressure your husband if they think the stuff has to be done. The realtor should know the market well and be able to give you a valid assessment of how much "damage" these things are doing to your showings.

                  Angie

                  Angie
                  Angie
                  Gyn-Onc fellowship survivor - 10 years out of the training years; reluctant suburbanite
                  Mom to DS (18) and DD (15) (and many many pets)

                  "Where are we going - and what am I doing in this handbasket?"

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                  • #10
                    Hey Claudia...I tried to get in and change your settings...the problem that you are having is that way back when when you registered your username you didn't register an email address......we've since updated the system and so I can't send you a new email address.

                    I'm happy to re-register you as someone else or sneak through the backdoor of the system and change your info....just email me what you want me to do....

                    krismathms@yahoo.com


                    kris
                    ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                    ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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