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I know that we've visited this topic in the past and a lot of you have held your kids back from starting kindergarten. I'm thinking of holding K2 back from kindergarten or maybe prek and I was wondering if you could help me sort this out.
He will be 4 in June. He's in preschool now and has two buddies at school whom he adores, one slightly older than he and thr other slightly younger. His teachers say he's "normal" for a 3yo and his less desirable behavior is typical of his age. He is smart and generally eager to please at school.
However, I think he has a lot of anxiety and I'm concerned about his emotional maturity. He's the only one in his class who is still in diapers although he stays dry through the night (K1 doesn't). He's capable of toileting but says he's afraid and he enjoys diaper changes. He is terrified of swimming class even though he's known how to swim for a year. He doesn't sleep well, afraid of the dark or scared in general. Has trouble separating from me at school about half the time. He's always saying he doesn't want to be a big boy, he wants to be with me. He wants to be with me all the time, actually clinging to me.
Anxiety runs in my family. My brother (who was also a middle child like K2) and his son both have a lot of problems stemming from anxiety. My grandmother had panic attacks. Also, MILK clearly has difficulty with anxiety.
With kindergarten being the new first grade, I think K2 would handle boredom better than being overwhelmed. Also, keeping him back would separate him a little more from K1 in school. They would be 2 years apart instead of 1. I think that this would help him to establish his own identity without teachers constantly comparing him to K1 who leaves a distinct impression on teachers, both positive and negative. Overall, K1's strengths are K2's weeknesses and it takes some teachers a long time to figure it out. So, some teachers come down hard on K2 expecting him to need the firm hand that K1 needs.
So, I'm more than half way certain that I want to delay kindergarten for K2. But now I'm trying to decide if he should do another year of preschool now (he's had two) or do prek twice. Whether I should just move him up to the "older 3s) at the same school while his friends advance or send him to prek in case he matures and actually is ready.
I've been unhappy with the director of his current school but I like the prek teachers. The teacher in the "older 3s" is okay. She was out of her element with K1 but I think she'll be fine for K2 (more nurturing, less structured classroom). Do I do prek next year and then enroll him elsewhere for another year of prek? I'm a little concerned about how he'll handle separation from his friends but if he does prek with them next year - which is all about kindergarten readiness - how will he feel when his friends advance and he doesn't? Do I enroll him in preschool elsewhere? How do I do this?
He will be 4 in June. He's in preschool now and has two buddies at school whom he adores, one slightly older than he and thr other slightly younger. His teachers say he's "normal" for a 3yo and his less desirable behavior is typical of his age. He is smart and generally eager to please at school.
However, I think he has a lot of anxiety and I'm concerned about his emotional maturity. He's the only one in his class who is still in diapers although he stays dry through the night (K1 doesn't). He's capable of toileting but says he's afraid and he enjoys diaper changes. He is terrified of swimming class even though he's known how to swim for a year. He doesn't sleep well, afraid of the dark or scared in general. Has trouble separating from me at school about half the time. He's always saying he doesn't want to be a big boy, he wants to be with me. He wants to be with me all the time, actually clinging to me.
Anxiety runs in my family. My brother (who was also a middle child like K2) and his son both have a lot of problems stemming from anxiety. My grandmother had panic attacks. Also, MILK clearly has difficulty with anxiety.
With kindergarten being the new first grade, I think K2 would handle boredom better than being overwhelmed. Also, keeping him back would separate him a little more from K1 in school. They would be 2 years apart instead of 1. I think that this would help him to establish his own identity without teachers constantly comparing him to K1 who leaves a distinct impression on teachers, both positive and negative. Overall, K1's strengths are K2's weeknesses and it takes some teachers a long time to figure it out. So, some teachers come down hard on K2 expecting him to need the firm hand that K1 needs.
So, I'm more than half way certain that I want to delay kindergarten for K2. But now I'm trying to decide if he should do another year of preschool now (he's had two) or do prek twice. Whether I should just move him up to the "older 3s) at the same school while his friends advance or send him to prek in case he matures and actually is ready.
I've been unhappy with the director of his current school but I like the prek teachers. The teacher in the "older 3s" is okay. She was out of her element with K1 but I think she'll be fine for K2 (more nurturing, less structured classroom). Do I do prek next year and then enroll him elsewhere for another year of prek? I'm a little concerned about how he'll handle separation from his friends but if he does prek with them next year - which is all about kindergarten readiness - how will he feel when his friends advance and he doesn't? Do I enroll him in preschool elsewhere? How do I do this?
It's such a case-by-case determination, and I am sure it is hard when you're working with only the limited information you can gain about a 3 year old. A few additional things I 'd consider:
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