More children

[PrincessFiona]

[MENTION=4964]Howfunitistobelovedbyyou[/MENTION]

I think 4th year is a good time to have a baby ... but we really planned ours based on our feelings of wanting to increase the size of our family. We didn't have any specific spacing desires and didn't consider training years. In retrospect, that may or may not have been right.

Our oldest two are 16 months apart. then there was a 2.5 year break until we had our third. We waited almost 5 years to have our 4th and then our 5th was born 2 years later.

For us ... this worked.

We now have a 20 and 18 1/2 year old, a 16 year old, and an 11 and 8 1/2 year old.

We had babies during internship years, first years of fellowship etc and it all worked out.

If I could go back and do it over, I'd do it just the same.

I think [MENTION=1242]diggitydot[/MENTION] is right. There really never is a perfect time. Just do what works for you!!

Kris

[diggitydot]

We have a 4 1/2 year age gap between the oldest and middle kiddos and a 2 1/2 year gap between the middle and youngest kiddos. Each gap has its own issues and advantages.

[PrincessFiona]

[MENTION=985]spotty_dog[/MENTION] Keep in mind that even if you are ending their time as being the only baby, you are opening the door to their time as a sibling. Sibling relationships can be very valuable too! We have a 16 month gap between our first 2. It wasn't exactly planned, and I mourned the end of Andrew being the only child .... He was perfectly happy having a sibling though and his relationship with his sister continues to be one of his most significant. In fact, despite the fact that he has an autism spectrum disorder, he has important connections with all of his siblings including his youngest sibling who is 12 years younger than he is. Don't discount the sibling relationships!

Kris

[MarissaNicole]

In an ideal world mine would be 18-24 months apart... But ya know what, I couldn't do it. Physically or mentally. Since I do the majority of parenting, DH has pretty much let me call the shots as far as timing.

I was sooooo sick my first pregnancy, combine that with being married to a surgical resident and needing 6 hours of sleep meant I needed to wait until #1 was a little more verbal, self sufficient, sleeping well and potty trained. Mine will end up being 3 years apart. I'll re-evaluate after each one.


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[Pollyanna]

Anytime is the right time to have another baby

[Howfunitis]

Thank you everyone for the great insight to all of it!!! I know it's never the "perfect" time or only we will know but it's nice to see the ages ranges and know if I do decide I won't be the only one. Definitely have to consider our parenting style and all that

[Howfunitis]

We had our second during 4th year. It was a really great time, though we did our best to get pregnant in a small window that allowed a potential due date of after residency interviews but before a potential move. Our kids are 26 months apart.

When would this small window be?

Hubby and I want more kids but if 4th year is relatively a "easy" year, I wouldn't mind adding a sibling. Since my daughter will be 2 in December so having a baby after fall/winter wouldn't be an issue either. I was thinking Baby due in March or April and that's like what someone said if I don't have trouble conceiving.


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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Post residency interviews and before residency starts. So, for us, January worked BC DH matched in an early speciality. For many, it is March or later Feb. Especially if he can finish rotations by then or have only really easy ones. DH was our daughter's primary caregiver for almost 2 months after my maternity leave ended and before residency started. It was nice to have him around since we had to move.

[SoonerTexan]

Yeah, my son was born one year ago tomorrow!

[Thirteen]

We tried to time our firstborn at the tail end of residency to reap the benefits (free baby!), and while it did work for us (he's an April birthday), it was hard still. I think DH got 2 days off? He still had Q2 or Q3 call, surgery rotations, etc. It was a toughie, but his program was family friendly and he's FM.

I know residency and med school are vastly different, however I just wanted to say that even the best intended plans don't always go as smoothly as you want. That's why there's no great time -- you may match far away, you may have complications with your L&D, etc. You just roll the dice and move forward from there.

Spacing is a different topic altogether, and just as personal, but the overarching theme of "Never a great time" still rings true.
(Mine are 3 1/2 years apart: I would have started 9 months before we actively tried for #2, but DH wasn't ready yet. Potty training has not been smooth, we changed jobs and moved [out of state, once] twice during my pregnancy).


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[Finding Equanimity]

Mine are 22 months apart. They are great friends and I'm so glad we had them relatively close together. That being said, the first few months were hard. My DD wasn't really good on the stairs yet, was just starting to potty train, and overall wasn't quite ready to be as independent as I would have liked. We cared more about having 2 fairly close together than the year it fell in residency. DH just plain wasn't around so it didn't make a huge difference when we had them. Now that they are older, DH is around more and I'm so glad they were little when he was doing call every 3 nights. They would not handle it as well nowadays (now that they've been spoiled with him taking at home call).

Like everyone else has said, it's really up to you and whether you feel ready. No matter when you have the second, I know you won't regret it!

[MrsK]

My boys are 18 months apart. They are quite a pair but I think that the second boy misses out a lot. He never had my undivided attention. Their sister who is 2.5y younger than the second boy gets a lot of mommy time while the boys are at preschool or playing independently. Also, since the boys are so close in age, they are constantly compared and the second is expected to keep up with his older brother even if it's not developmentally appropriate. If I had it to do over and I'd started my family when I was younger, I would have tried to space the kids about 2.5 or 3 years apart.

[Howfunitis]

I hear you.... I just like to plan and plan for A,B,C,D, and even E. and I know things never go according to plan but it's nice to hear how everyone else has done it and makes me think of things that I hadn't even thought about before or could even possibly feel. Hubby is no where near ready for #2 and I don't blame him lol


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[SoonerTexan]

I hear ya...I like to plan too. But for the first time ever after these two munchkins I don't have a real set plan and it kinda feels nice. Though I'm always mulling over options!