TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!

[BonBon]

LOL, not me! My brother and his wife just called to say they are actually expecting not one, but TWO!!!

Woooooohooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since there are several of you with twins, do you have any advice I can pass along?

Back to the phones....

[Auspicious]

Yay, double cousins for baby Gavin! Congrats Aunt Chris.

[Rapunzel]

You know what's really funny is that my sister-in-law is also expecting twins. (None of us have twins in the genes btw).

As far as advice? Wow, I think I've already pushed the entire twin pregnancy/infanthood out of my mind!!! I seriously don't know if that is a good or bad thing....

My one and only recommendation is that your sister-in-law have some serious help lined up after delivery (ie to clean the house, do the laundry, and cook) because she is going to be incredibly busy with not one but two newborns!

Jennifer

[peggyfromwastate]

Having infant twins is the hardest thing I have ever done, and I think I will ever do, I hope. If she wants to nurse, she should invest in a special nursing pillow. I tried to use regular pillows for support and it just killed me. I ended up having to buy 2 pillows. There are lots of twins forums that give good tips on the best twin baby gear out there. So I'd definitely point her to a twins forum (I think from Twins magazine-- they have good forums.) I would encourage her to not read special pregnancy books about her twin pregnancy b/c they tend to be really really scary. Her doctor can tell her of the risks, but really worrying about special ventilators/car seats/care for preemies probably isn't necessary unless she turns out to be at a higher risk for that. Twin pregnancy is considered high risk anyway, but adding the stress of reading some of those books can be overwhelming... My biggest survival tip for the first 2 months or so was swaddling the twins together (so she should sew some large receiving blankets, about double the size of a normal receiving blanket). A nurse showed us this trick, then we didn't use it ( ) for about 1 week, and the kids were so miserable when we put them down to sleep but once we swaddled them together (for instance on their sides, back to back) they calmed right down. Another thing that worked well for us was not buying 2 of everything. For instance, we had 1 baby swing and that's all we needed b/c when 1 was in the swing, I could hold the other twin and so I got some relaxing time with just 1 baby while the other was happy. Baby equipment takes up lots of space... We did have 2 cribs eventually (they didn't need separate cribs until about 6-8 months or so), 2 high chairs, and obviously 2 car seats but besides that one can pretty much "rotate" them through the other pieces of baby equipment (such as johnny jump ups, exersaucers, etc.). Also, you could see if someone will throw her a diaper shower-- instead of a traditional baby shower, we had one where people created sculptures out of diapers, and we got to keep the sculptures after the shower. It was great because we ended up getting so many diapers, and you go through those sooo fast. Of course, we didn't really need clothes or the other traditional baby shower type of gifts, but anyway... I would also encourage her to find a mother of twins group and go before her babies are born. I went to a great support group in my hometown, and it was such a wonderful place to be. I was able to see mothers adjusting and surviving with all sorts of circumstances. Anyway, I always felt blessed to have that support group available.

Those days truly do pass by "quickly" though when you are in the midst of them, you don't think they will. I wouldn't say it gets easier, it just gets different. I was very discouraged when my OB told me at my 4 week appt (after delivery) that it would get lots easier when the twins turned 2 years old!!! He had twins who were about 2, so that's where he got that idea I guess, but it really really discouraged me! I thought I would be without sleep or any type of sanity for at least 2 more years!!! It would be better to NOT focus on a point of time when it gets "easier", b/c I just have not found that point of time yet! It just gets different... I was way too focused on the next stage of development (for instance, I'd think "it will be so much easier when they can walk for themselves", or "it will be so much easier when they can feed themselves"...) I think I missed some of basking in their achievements at the stages of development they were actually in...

[BonBon]

Thanks for the advice. I told my SIL that I will come over every other week to clean the house and do laundry for a while. I'd help more often but I live an hour away. I also plan on making some meals and taking them over. Lastly, I have subscribed them to Twins Magazine. That's a pretty cool website they have.

Thanks!!

[peggyfromwastate]

What an awesome sister you are!!! I actually met a lady when I had just moved out here who was complaining to me that her sister, who had infant twins, wouldn't drive down from Baltimore to Silver Spring (a 30 min drive no traffic, but a nightmare in traffic, which happens frequently) to see her... Apparently, of course, the aunt was too busy herself to drive up to see her sister!!! I told her that when my twins were infants, we didn't even leave the house for about 4 months really! Too much work!!! So that's great that you're making the effort to drive over and help her out--- I know she'll appreciate it!!!

[BonBon]

They arrived today and they are gorgeous!!! I'm finally an aunt!!!

[twinsmom]

Congratulations to your sister!!! And Good Luck to your sister!!!! The first year for me was a big nursing blur. I don't think I left the couch for any great stretch of time - I even slept out there to save time from having to walk from my bed to the basinets in the front room.

More then anything - I would tell her to relax and enjoy the ride (very hard to do while your right in the middle of the chaos ). Take all the time in the world to snuggle each one of them and have some alone time with them. I agree with the above posts that time goes by so fast, and suddenly my kids were leaping throught the different stages. Tell her to take a ton of pictures :- - I love looking through the kids newborn pictures.

Oh, and also, she may want to make a sign to hang on the twins that says (for example): yes, they are twins, Seth and Sarah, no, they are fraternal, not identical (you'd be amazed how many people asked this with BOY/GIRL twins ), 5#4 oz and 4#5 oz, born at 32 weeks, no, everything was fine with them at birth, etc, etc. . She will get asked these a ton!

I am so excited for her - it is such an adventure to enter into the twins world!!

Jen

[BonBon]

Jen, I will pass along your advice! I've already been over there cleaning several times as the poor girl could barely move in late pregnancy and I made a few meals that are in the freezer. My mom and I plan on visiting often and doing gruntwork for her so she can focus on the wee ones and enjoy them, instead of worrying about dinner and laundry.

and oh my gosh, I REALLY want another baby!!! I can't believe my guy was ever that small!

[twinsmom]

I have to add a little heart warming story. You always hear about the special connection with twins, and we have seen it in ours, but it was exemplified a few nights ago...

In the middle of the night Seth sarted screaming (something he rarely ever does), so of course, I shot out of bed like a light and ran into their room. He was standing with his arms up (to be picked up) with the biggest look of terror on his face (one that even got me panicked!). I picked him up, and he started pointing towards the door to go look for something, and started wimpering "Sawah, Sawah"

Seth and Sarah's cribs are close to each other, so they often lie in bed and "talk" back and forth to one another. On this night, however, Sarah had curled up in the corner (probably in her sleep), and was almost out of view of the other crib. I had also put an extra blanket on her, so the one she normally has wasn't in view, either.

I realized Seth thought something had happened to Sarah, and when I showed him where she was, he instantly calmed down and relaxed. I sat on the rocking chair with him for a while, and the whole time he wouldn't take his eyes off of her until he finally drifted back to sleep.

It was so heart warming to see that bond that they have with each other. (I only hope Seth keeps up his 'protective' spirit of her when they start dating!!)

Give those little ones a squeeze for me! Your sister is in for the best ride of her life!

Jen B.

[Sheherezade]

These stories sound so sweet!! It makes me want another and I am DONE. (I think.....) Congratulations on your new aunt-hood. You are a great sister helping out so much--sounds like twins are impossible otherwise .

Angie

[peggyfromwastate]

Jen-- I wish I could say the same about my twins... Those guys are up screaming about this or that all night long regularly.... GRRRR...

BUT, it is fun to watch them develop together. It is really great now for me b/c they are entering the preschool years! They go to the same MDO program and it is so fun for me and Mac to compare the work they do. They are soooo different! When Mac comes home from school, I show him the coloring they did, or the art project, or whatever and he has to guess which kid did which piece of art! So fun... Another fun thing is when they are separated for a little (like for nap time), and they are apart for as long as 2 hours when they see each other again it is this big reunion. They run to each other, hug, tell each other (in their own language, of course) everything that happened, etc., etc. It's quite entertaining...

Anyway, Best of luck to your sister. The first year is soooo hard... Just ridiculously hard. And I second what Jen said about the nursing. I nursed, too, and it was something else... Your sister is going to need all the help she can get-- sounds like you are up for the challenge!!!