Guns and Play dates

[MrsK]

Do you ask about guns before sending your kids to friends'/neighbors' homes? If so, how? And what has your experience been?

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

We haven't gone on play dates without C yet. I will ask when we do. We live in the South, this is inevitable. One of her friends dads has a gun safe, I know because I've seen it.

I know it could be awkward but unless I get a decent response (which you have to trust), there won't be play dates at that house).

Any thoughts on how to teach the child what a gun is and not to touch it? C doesn't know what a gun is, I'm sure of it.

[ladymoreta]

It scares me, too. Lots of families here have guns, and I'm sure some don't keep them locked up. My son would absolutely be the one who would play with one he found. We have a pretend gun, and I talk about it often: never point even a pretend gun at himself or others; look for the orange tip; if he finds a gun, even with an orange tip, he must always ask a grown up if it's safe first. I don't think its working yet, but hopefully some of it will set in before he starts going on play dates without me.

I will ask, and if they have guns, I will make sure they know he might try to play with them. Most gun owners pride themselves on safety and not using them unless trained, so I imagine it will be well-received if I'm polite about it.

[migirl]

Honestly? I don't ask, it doesn't even occur to me. We live in such a liberal neighborhood in this northern college town, it's just not something that's even on my radar. Maybe I'm just naive, though.

I've never asked, I've never been asked. I have talked to my boys about gun safety, but that's about it.

[MrsC]

It wouldn't have occurred to me but C is not quite old enough for play dates on his own yet. I probably would ask because we live in a semi rural area and a lot of people have guns. We have a a couple locked away in a safe. I would have no problem with someone asking..

[Thirteen]

Everyone had some growing up, and my dad had two old hunting rifles, but we NEVER played with them or even opened where they were kept.

I won't own any unless we live on land, we hunt exclusively with them, everyone is trained in hunter safety courses (yearly), and ammo/weapon are in a fingerprinted safe, kept apart from each other. ☺️

Having said that, I only saw responsible gun ownership modeled, and that was in rural America/the boonies.


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[bokelley]

I grew up in the south and I am sure there were lots of unlocked guns. I worry so much about this with my niece and nephew and the redneck parents they live with. We have some guns and a guns safe that requires a fingerprint safe.
Being a parent has got to be the hardest job ever.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

This thread made me start one on our local parents FB group to ask 1) if they ask and 2) would the be offended. There are >2,000 parents on this group and the response has been overwhelming that it's ok to ask, encouraging others to ask, and to say that someone wouldn't/shouldn't be offended if asked.

[alotofyarn]

We have guns, and now that E is mobile, I've made sure that she can't get to them. That was actually a disagreement with hubby, because he felt like he wouldn't be able to defend us as easily if it was harder to get to, and he wanted to still keep his pistol in his nightstand, loaded, but in a holster that locks the trigger. He grew up in a military family, always having had guns around and playing with them, though with respect and safely. I thought it was much more likely that E would find it, somehow manage to get it out, and shoot herself than it would be that he would need to defend us. I said if he wanted to keep it in the nightstand, he had to either lock the drawer or put it in a locked safe inside the drawer. I won, and the gun is locked up. I wouldn't mind if anybody asked us, and once E is old enough to understand, we'll teach her gun safety.

[Bittersweet]

T&S, that's encouraging to hear. We're not at the point where drop-off play dates are a thing, so it hasn't come up yet. However, I will ask about guns and will probably feel pretty awkward while doing it.


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[hanginginthere]

I have asked before as we are living on base and it is rather common. Most people don't seem to mind and guns are kept secured as per regulations. One family who lives off post told me though that they have guns and do not secure them ! Their reasoning being their girls are well versed in gun safety. This did not make me feel good about play dates even if I was there. Fortunately, they moved so I get out of having to explain to dd why I won't let her play there... :/

[peggyfromwastate]

My in laws have guns all over, unlocked. They live in the boonies with coyotes and nasty snakes everywhere. My dh grew up shooting, but we don't have a gun. I've never even touched a gun. When we visit his parents I do a quick sweep of the house and then just stay with my kids the whole time. I've never thought to ask for play dates, but we've also lived in pretty anti-gun states since the kids were old enough for play dates (Maryland, CA, Hawaii).

Interesting topic.

[rainbabies]

We live in a rural small town. We have many guns. They're all locked up. Ammo is locked separate. Our kids are well informed but that doesn't mean I'd trust them or their friends.
Any responsible gun owner won't mind your asking. If they're offended, I'd say that's your answer