Parenting Book Recs

[OrionGrad]

DS1 has been being really rough with DS2 lately, like pushing him over and sometimes hitting Legos on his head. (It's gotten worse since DS2 started crawling.) DS1 isn't really doing it to be mean, per se, but he's an almost-3-year-old who just doesn't get it. We've tried talking about it, we've tried time outs ... nothing is working. Is there a parenting book I should check out to help me navigate this stuff? I'm sort of flying by the seat of my pants right now. I don't know if we've got a sibling rivalry issue, or just a normal toddler issue.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I really liked Love and Logic. It does address sibling rivalry although is not solely about that.

It's very simple and matter of fact which works for me because I'm prone to flying off the handle if pushed enough.

[ladymoreta]

I second Love and Logic. Be sure to get the one for preschoolers, since there's a version for older kids/teenagers as well.

I also really liked Anthony Wolf's Secret of Parenting, although a lot of the book is little stories, and I was kind of over them by the end. His strategy does work great.

[spotty_dog]

I also like Anthony Wolf, and his sibling-specific book "Mom, Jason's Breathing on Me" as well. I have been meaning to re-read Thomas Gordon's "Parent Effectiveness Training," but I don't remember how toddler-helpful it is. Actually at this stage, Harvey Karp's "Happiest Toddler" was still super useful I think. I also have Faber and Mazlish's "Siblings Without Rivalry".

My two were 27 months apart, and when DD started crawling was about the single most challenging phase of parenting them as siblings. In hindsight though, it was a phase that passed quickly, just putting out fires and trying to prevent them. Hang in there!

[SoonerTexan]

There is one called The Science of Parenting that I really like. It focuses on developmental stages and emotional development. I've found it helpful in understanding and better dealing with emotional aspects...not sure about sibling stuff thoughl

[Sheherezade]

Mine are both old school, but very comforting, balanced and sensible. The first is Penelope Leach's Your Baby and Child. The second is this one. The Mother's Almanac https://www.amazon.com/dp/0385468776..._t5AMvbMAJC61P. Both feel like you've got an older woman friend who's btdt and is there to help, not judge.

[scrub-jay]

Mine are both old school, but very comforting, balanced and sensible. The first is Penelope Leach's Your Baby and Child. The second is this one. The Mother's Almanac https://www.amazon.com/dp/0385468776..._t5AMvbMAJC61P. Both feel like you've got an older woman friend who's btdt and is there to help, not judge.

Penelope Leach - Your Baby and Child is my go-to. Love her practical advice.

[Pollyanna]

LOVE Penelope Leach! I miss her show a lot.

For your particular situation though I'm not sure a book is necessary. Like Spotty said, this phase goes fast. I just stuck close during these times and directed the interactions. Lots of, "that's not how we play, let mama show you. Now can you show me how to play with brother"? Lots of talking and assisting. Before you know it they'll be building forts together and conspiring against you

[MarissaNicole]

I also am a fan of Love and Logic but I'm not sure it will be particularly helpful for this situation.

Try and stay consistent and hang in there!

Wife of a PGY-6

[OrionGrad]

Thanks guys! I bought the Anthony Wolf book and started reading it last night, and I'm really liking it so far. It's also helpful to hear that this is probably a passing phase. DS1 really isn't trying to be mean, he just doesn't realize how rough he's being. Hopefully the consistency on my end will pay off sooner or later.