New Mom Brains, Holla!

[niener]

Moving some convo here from another thread so as not to hijack --

So to recap: basically, I'm 32 and I'm too old for this shit.


It's nice to know I'm not the only mushy bodied, mushy brained mom out here. It's funny, I have this one close friend in particular who has always been one of those "I-never-know-where-my-keys-are" type of people and I always thought man how frustrating it must be to live inside her head. Well now I know!! I piss myself off constantly. I never know where my keys are. Or my phone. Or where I left the vacuum upholstery attachment this time. And why does my hair feel super gross again I swear I *just* washed it?! Oh no wait that was last Thursday...

It's like I have too much time to think and not enough energy to get the thoughts out of my head in a cohesive way. I have so few real conversations anymore. Everything is a cute FB photo about once a week with a one-line caption and that's about all I put out into the world. I feel like there's a lot of good stuff floating around up there but to get from brain to mouth the words have to army crawl through thick mud and barbed wire so that by the time they make it out only about 15% of them have survived and they don't necessarily end up in the same order they started out in.

I've started forcing myself to read regularly again before bed each night in an attempt to keep my mind from going completely dull. I don't know if it's helping or not, but at least I get something that's just mine. And I've given up trying to get DD to sit at the gym childcare (she hyperventilates every time and they have to page me 10 minutes into my workout) so now I go late at night a few nights a week after DH gets home from work, which I actually quite enjoy because the gym is basically empty by then. So these are my few little attempts at demushifying myself.

Anyway, this post doesn't really have a point, just... yeah... mushy moms, holla if ya hear me!

[Sheherezade]

I remember this phase well. I lost my keys about 6 times over a five year period. It did get better.

I'm going through round two of foggy brain, with perimenopause. I have to wonder if it isn't hormonal at both points. If it is, I've found that B vitamins -mostly 6 and 12 - have been enormously helpful with foggy brain. Maybe give that a whirl?



Angie

[MsSassyBaskets]

I'm right here with you. It's not just post-pregnancy brain or sleep-deprivation brain, either. It's just general fog. DD sleeps through the night, but I'm still exhausted and mushy. I had an actual in person conversation with a colleague about a project today and I just kept thinking "Am I even making sense?" I was so uncomfortable and wondered if I was coming off like a complete idiot. Many days I wonder how the heck I'm functioning. I applaud myself regularly just for remembering to pay the bills, schedule things, etc. because it's so incredible to me that I haven't dropped the ball yet. I'm trying to read more too, I do think that helps in some way.

[niener]

Thanks Angie, certainly can't hurt!
[MENTION=4001]MsSassyBaskets[/MENTION] I have often marveled at how working moms do it. Pretty sure if I had a job where I had to talk to people's faces I'd have been fired for incompetence by now lol

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Well as a working mom, I can tell you I'm still totally mushy about most things. I exhaust myself trying to stay on point during the work day and then immediately collapse into mush afterwards. And both times on returning from maternity leave it was like I couldn't dorm sentences for the first few weeks back.

I feel like pregnancy brain is so bad too. I can't remember anything!

[ladymoreta]

I feel you. I can tell I've lost brain function... I took a few IQ tests online last year, and mine has dropped 10 points! 10! It's just crazy. I have felt so much better since getting my kids into preschool. Just having a few hours each day or a few days a week makes a huge difference.

[spotty_dog]

I would say I saw an upswing when my youngest was 4-5, and a definite improvement since she's been 5-6. Don't know if it's regular school that helps, or solid sleep, or having less responsibility over the finer points of feeding and toileting, but I can think complete thoughts and read books again! It's a murracle!

[alotofyarn]

I feel like going to work and getting a break from my kids keeps me from being too mushy. It's hard when they're not sleeping, but E usually slept well at home, and I know I felt more foggy on days that I stayed at home with her than on days that I went to work. Getting out of the house and doing something structured, even with E, helped, I think. I'm only 4 weeks into leave, and I already feel like I'm ready to go back sometimes. Mostly I'm just tired and need a break though, and I'm sure once we're home and hubby can help me out again, it will be better. Thankfully my mom has been helping out a lot.

[MrsK]

I would say I saw an upswing when my youngest was 4-5, and a definite improvement since she's been 5-6. Don't know if it's regular school that helps, or solid sleep, or having less responsibility over the finer points of feeding and toileting, but I can think complete thoughts and read books again! It's a murracle!

One one hand, this gives me hope. On the other, I'm depressed because I heard that it comes back when the youngest is about 2. Now I have to wait another 2-4 years? I guess that would be right around the time the kids are all in full time school...around the time everyone expects me to go back to law.

My cousin has 9 kids and she's still one of the sharpest people I've ever known. She must have been a super-genius 20 years ago. I've gotten more stupid with each kid. My attention span is terrible. Like a goldfish.

[spotty_dog]

Definitely age two was the first turning point. For me it was like: with anyone under age two in the house, you are a rockstar for keeping kids alive and should honestly not have high expectations for brainwork. (This is something I've heard from other moms in multiple situations.) Between two and four, you can start ramping up your expectations of yourself, but the fog might remain. (Running into a closed garage door with the car? Check.) Some sort of mental sharpness was there intermittently during DD's preschool years, and somewhere around a year ago (mid-kindergarten, before she turned 6) I started feeling like an actual competent human being again. I don't know how much of this experience is universal or just due to my unique environment and lifestyle, but yeah. That's that I've got and what I've noticed with regard to that "I can't follow complicated trains of thought" aspect of mommy mush.

[MrsK]

I swear, when I go to CLE, I feel like I wandered into a seminar for smart people and I'm not supposed to be there.

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[MrsK]

Come to think of it, I read
a business review
article the other day about a complicated transaction my former law partner just closed and I was relieved that I understood every
word.

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[SoonerTexan]

New Mom Brains, Holla!

It was really hard to go back from leave this time! It does get significantly better as the months go by, but each kid doesn't bring me down a notch. I repeat myself a lot. Basically I'm turning into my mother, who swears she was super functional before she had kids


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[MrsInTheMiddle]

We don't have kids yet... but this whole mom brain thing scares me!

I just wrapped up chairing a big event (I'll create a new thread once I have organized photos to share) and I basically fell off the face of the planet. I had no time for myself and was so sleep deprived, which is what I imagine being a new mom feels like. On the day of the event, I spilled a full venti latte on my desk and basically wanted to have a meltdown. Thankfully, I had fully functioning colleagues who grabbed paper towel and called housekeeping to clean the carpeting, but I think I am in trouble if this what what motherhood has in store for me!

[MrsK]

[MENTION=5087]MrsInTheMiddle[/MENTION]. Can't wait to see pictures of your event! Please do open that thread.