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They kick themselves out of the nest

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  • They kick themselves out of the nest

    When my kids were younger, and life was good and raising them felt magical, I had moms say this to me. Confession. I thought they were terrible moms who never should have had children.

    Right. So karma is a thing. I was so happy the day Amanda moved out, I cannot tell you. Gone are the piles of laundry in the laundry room, unwashed dishes, food on the countertops, and gone is the “I know everything and you’re idiots” mentality that I felt choked by. It’s so much more peaceful. She left on bad terms and said we’d never here from her again. She texts or calls me daily and comes home once a week.

    I love Alex and Andrew, but I need them to move on too. I need a cleaner house and some space. It will be awhile for Andrew, but Alex moves out Sept 1.

    I’m planning Sunday dinners and I hope they’ll come.

    Honestly, I never thought I’d feel like this.

    Kris


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
    ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

  • #2
    This is 100% normal. They will be assholes for a bit until life bites them in the ass a time or two. They will grow up and learn skills that they refused to learn from you while they were at home.

    Them moving out is good for everyone. It will help your relationship.

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    • #3
      Amen.
      In my dreams I run with the Kenyans.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by diggitydot View Post
        This is 100% normal. They will be assholes for a bit until life bites them in the ass a time or two. They will grow up and learn skills that they refused to learn from you while they were at home.

        Them moving out is good for everyone. It will help your relationship.
        I’m holding on to this for the 15yo. ☹️


        Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
        ~shacked up with an ob/gyn~

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        • #5
          Hey, I love my parents dearly but ALLLL of us appreciate space from each other.
          Married to a newly minted Pediatric Rad, momma to a sweet girl and a bunch of (mostly) cute boy monsters.



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          • #6
            Yep, I’m silently counting down the days until mine launch. Our 17 year old is a senior this year and is determined to go to college anywhere but here. I get a tinge of sadness at the idea of her leaving, but also a little excited.

            The fourteen year old swears she’s never leaving and plans on living here while attending college locally. I’m worried she’s not going to change her mind. She’s my difficult one and often causes chaos/drama in the house.

            I love them both dearly, but I’m excited to see them fly.


            Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
            Charlene~Married to an attending Ophtho Mudphud and Mom to 2 daughters

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            • #7
              My neighbors had an impromptu late teen/early adult support group last night. These are seemingly super successful families (Harvard, Michigan, Wash U., blah, blah, blah). It was so refreshing to get past their FB lives and hear them tell me that it all works out and that they too have had arrests, dipshit decisions, ingratitude, etc. One dad, an ObGyn, compared it to the last month of pregnancy. It's been grand, but beyond time for a change in environment. Allegedly, they grow out of this stage. It kind of was like having a group of late adolescent doulas.
              In my dreams I run with the Kenyans.

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              • #8
                Your biggest fear becomes "they might come back"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                Luanne
                wife, mother, nurse practitioner

                "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

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                • #9
                  I can commiserate. Some days I don’t know if I will make it. It comes down to them or me. A today is one of those days. I either need a stiff drink or to be talked off the ledge. My 14 yo is going down the wrong path with the wrong people. We have installed an alarm system and basically put her in lockdown. My 16 yo is an emotional mess, especially when she doesn’t get her way. Apparently, I am the reason she is “not fine”. I need space from them and maybe a job.

                  I am parenting too much or parenting too little. No matter what we’re not doing it right. Each child has their issues that I worry about. My 14 reads at an elementary level. Getting her help is more trouble than it is worth because of the grief she gives us. Too bad, but her incessant drama is wearing me down to a nub.




                  Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                  Needs

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Meenah View Post
                    Your biggest fear becomes "they might come back"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                    This though... I think I'll have mixed feelings if this would happen with me and my kids in the future. Hopefully, they would come back not because something bad happened.

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                    • #11
                      I distinctly remember being “over it” with my parents at 16.
                      Fast forward a few years, I called them to thank them for being awesome parents. 😂 frontal lobe development is real!


                      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                      Wife to Family Medicine attending, Mom to DS1 and DS2
                      Professional Relocation Specialist &
                      "The Official IMSN Enabler"

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                      • #12
                        I definitely remember really struggling with my mom from about 15-19 or 20. Then I started to mellow and appreciate her. She still drives me bananas sometimes, but I can deal with it like an adult and laugh it off most of the time. Using flash photo with your camera app volume turned all the way up while snapping pics of a sleeping newborn, anyone? 🤣

                        Sent from my Nexus 6P using Tapatalk

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                        • #13
                          So clearly I have Stockholm syndrome, because as much as this year has been a challenge, the thought of dropping him off at college makes me weepy.

                          Crap. I don't understand me. I'm ridiculous.
                          In my dreams I run with the Kenyans.

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                          • #14
                            I want someone to kick me out of the nest...all the way to a beach in Mexico. Mama needs a break. Three girls in five years. You can't even imagine the bickering and drama, well Jenn can. I figure after surviving this I get to skip purgatory.

                            I can't imagine what I'll be saying in another four years!!!
                            Last edited by Ladybug; 07-25-2018, 12:47 PM.
                            -Ladybug

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by houseelf View Post
                              So clearly I have Stockholm syndrome, because as much as this year has been a challenge, the thought of dropping him off at college makes me weepy.

                              Crap. I don't understand me. I'm ridiculous.
                              Completely normal, Kelly. Welcome to my brain for the past 6 years!


                              Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                              Wife of an OB/Gyn, mom to three boys, middle school choir teacher.

                              "I don't know when Dad will be home."

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