Shy kids

[alison]

My youngest turns 5 in a few days. She is very shy and anxious in new social situations. I started her in soccer in a class with almost her entire preschool class also having signed up! She was excited for her first day of soccer, and at home she loves kicking a ball around, has energy to burn, and has great eye-hand coordination (in comparison to her older sister at that same age). She got to the park, and the teacher/coach just basically yelled at the kids the whole time. It’s always positive and encouraging and age appropriate, but my kid clings to me worried that something bad will happen to her. She can’t deal with the “WHO WANTS TO PLAY SOCCER?! What? I can’t hear you! LOUDER! I NEED YOU TO MAKE SOME NOISE!” And it’s this clapping, throwing the ball up LIKE A ROCKET AS HIGH AS YOU CAN AND YELL BLAST OFF and cheering and general noise-making that my dd can’t deal with.

I’m not sure what I’m asking you guys for help with, but I feel like soccer would be a great fit—basically anything that requires ball handling. But this is our second attempt. So—are we doomed? Do I just make my life easier and sign her up for something where there are quiet people? . What sports do quiet people do?

Any btdt experiences? Thanks!

[scrub-jay]

My middle child is a classic introvert. He has close friends, but he cannot stand activities that involve shouting pep-talks, even if they’re positive. We also failed with team sports with that “I CAN’T HEAR YOU! LOUDER!!!” build up (or goofy, loud kindergarten-dance warmups) he rolls his eyes and backs up. We’ve had better luck with sports and activities with coaches who are inherently a bit more mellow. We now go for the sports/activities with a trial week to get a feel for the instructor. YMMV.

[alison]

Hi SJ! Yes—at least it isn’t super expensive. But they didn’t have a trial session and C was bummed when I told her we paid for 6 sessions. I really figured that if her preschool friends were there, there’d be an aspect of familiarity. The only thing that worked is that my favorite preschool mom approached C when she started crying and offered to hold her hand the rest of the class. Of course my kid took her up on the offer and made it through the remaining 45 minutes of class, but the mom is 7 months pregnant. so this is not ideal.

[alotofyarn]

E gets really anxious sometimes the first time she does things, although not always. She's tried several new classes at gymnastics, and 2 of the 4 times she had absolute meltdowns and refused to participate, then the next time she went with that class she was fine. For her, the less I talk it up, the better, I think. She has less time to dwell on it and freak herself out.

[peggyfromwastate]

Oh soccer is hard for quiet and calm. And if she wants to get into it later- no problem! My kids tend towards this end- none of them embraced the loud, rah-rah, let’s get excited routine.

Swimming has been a good sport for introverts! My dd has a headset now 🙄 so she can hear her coach giving instructions but it’s mostly a quiet sport.

Also karate/taekwondo- they pretty much love it quiet in there!

My most shy kid (as in didn’t talk to anyone for several months at a new school) enjoyed the routine of TKD back when he was about 7ish...??

It’s so hard. The world expects so much of little kiddos.

[alison]

Sorry to leave all your great advice just hanging in the air. So... the soccer teacher broke her toe between the first and second weeks of the class and the second week was super sedate, because the teacher couldn’t run nor kick very well. So, in the end, that was the week where my dd warmed up a bit and felt more comfortable and less chased-around-by-a-crazy-person.

[Ethan1989]

Give her some time It's normal Like I give you an example like in childhood child likes tricycle but when they enter the age of teenager they like bicycle when they enter the age of Adult they like Bike so give some time.