Tired mommies speak out!

[PrincessFiona]

Seriously..Aidan started walking about 2 weeks ago and it is all OVER around here! He is constantly on the move and into EVERYTHING. This, coupled with the fact that we can't get our baby gates to secure well around the stairs has been a source of stress for me. He has taken a couple of tumbles already too!

End result...I'm tired! The elementary school starts at 7.45 (inhumane if you ask me) and then the baby is a little speeding bullet!

Any other mommies out there needing a good long coffee break!

I was thinking the same thing today.. I finally dragged myself into the shower, washed hair, shaved the whole thing... I'm just feeling dull and tired like all I do is wash, cook, clean, dress kids, pick up kids, blow kids nose, stop them from killing each other.. Ugh the days start to feel the same... the only up thing is when I bake a batch of homemade cookies, but even that has a downside cuz I eat most of them.. ugh:

[houseelf]

I can sympathize...I feel torn constantly. I'm constantly assessing whether I should spend time with son who needs reassurance now that he is no longer our only, or my husband whose needs generally are only met after the needs of the kids, or my precious newborn, who will be this size for about two seconds. I know that you all go through this too, so I'm wondering how you do this and 1) take care of yourself physically and emotionally; 2) keep the house and life affairs going like dinner, social obligations and scrubbing the toilet; and 3) get everyone to the right place at the right time. Holy crap there is not enough time in the day.

I can honestly say that I think that these have been some of the happiest days of my life, but I feel pulled in so many directions. Anyone out there have advice or a story to share?

Kelly

[mommax3]

I am tired.....muddling through as usual. An example from my life yesterday:

6:30 a.m. wake up, throw on work-out clothes, make sure the older boys get through the shower and dressed, dress the youngest, giving the usual pep talk about using the potty throughout the day, do breakfast for everyone, make lunches for the boys, tell everyone to hurry up ONE MILLION times, make sure everyone has all their stuff, tell them to brush their teeth, out the door to take them to school at 7:40.

Home....stick Thomas the Tank Engine DVD in for Nathan and give him his leftover dry cereal from breakfast in a sandwich bag so he can eat it on the couch as he watches tv. Shower, dress, hair makeup. Make final preparations to teach music to 5 and 6 year olds in a home school co-op. Wonder why I agreed to do this. Load Nathan, his backpack,my materials, and myself in the car. Realize that Luke left his lunch on his seat, so plan to stop by his school before heading to my class.

Teach the music class. Realize that I did not factor in that several suspicious parents would be watching the class. Feel like an ass because they are watching me do the ridiculous things you have to do to get kids excited about music.

Finish the music class.....set up Nathan's lunch in the pull down tray beside his carseat so he can eat while I drive back into town. 5 minutes later, look in rear-view mirror and realize that Nathan is zonked out. Drive thru Wendy's to get my lunch.....not a healthy one, either. Stop the car at a music store, where I have to get some piano books for Luke's lesson later that day. Nathan wakes up, didn't sleep long enough, and a tantrum follows. We finally get in the store, get the books, and get back out. It is now time for me to teach at the boys' school, but Nathan doesn't want to get back in the car. Another tanturm follows. He has only eaten 1/4 of his PB&J, so low blood sugar is almost definitely an issue at this point. Finally get him into the car.

Arrive at the school, drop Nathan off and explain to the teacher that Nathan will need a snack. She is understanding. Teach the third graders. (The easiest part of my day.) School is over, my students have been picked up. I finish up, collect my three, and head home for 30 minutes. Change back into workout clothes. Ask Joel 4 times to take the dog out. He finally does. Feed everyone supper at 4:45. Load everyone back in the car......take Luke to piano. Come back home and get Joel ready for soccer....shin guards, etc. Get back in the car and take Joel to soccer practice. Pick up Luke, have him change into his swimsuit on the way to swim practice. Swim practice is held where I work out, so after dropping Luke off, I park, take Nathan to the childcare room, and hop on the elliptical machine for 25 minutes (have to make up for the Wendy's lunch!). Pick up Nathan, go back to the soccer field and pick up Joel. Go home and help Joel with his homework for 30 minutes. Load everyone back up and pick up Luke from swimming. Bring everyone home and get them ready for bed.

COLLAPSE.

DH had to do a "readiness exercise" yesterday, so he didn't come home at all. It was a very hectic day and I have not yet recovered!

Parenthood is just tiring, that's all.

Sally

[Phoebe]

My life would be a lot easier if there were a couple more hours in the day to get things done. After a year of two kids, I haven't figured out who to manage my family, marriage and life in a consistent way. I am constantly planning, making lists and renegotiating my schedule to work around the kids, things that pop up or don't happen according to schedule. My main trait for staying sane is remaining flexible. This probably isn't the best thing for my kids since we dont' have the same routine every day, although I do try to uphold some consistency. I struggle daily on what I should be doing and I get overwhelmed. Usually when I get this way, I have to leave the house or someone has a meltdown.

I feel stress about not spending enough individual time with my children, planning enough structure in our daily activities and being tired all the time. Time with my husband is lowest on the totem poll. I would say that we scrape to make it through the day and hope the next will be better. Lately, I have been feeling very stressed and too busy with daily life, but I don't really know why I feel that way. I have an ongoing power struggle with my preschooler and it drains the energy of both my husband and I. Also our one year old is into everything too! Sorry I don't have any advice, just empathy. Parenting at this stage is much harder than I ever imagined. I am plain worn out!

[twinsmom]

Can I sign up for the "I NEED A BREAK" club, too?!! Man, all I can say is THANK YOU - as wierd as that sounds. It has been so good for me to read that I am not some lazy woman who just can't seem to get it all together while everyone around me runs perfectly run, organized, immaculately clean households. (Incidently, Sally, as I write this, my kids are sitting on the floor eating their dry cereal in front of Sesame Street I know how you feel in that regard!).

I can honestly say that this has been one of the hardest few months of my life. We just moved here in June, and will only be here for a year, so it just seems like a big waste of energy to go out and get involved in everything when we will be packing up in a few short months... but then I think that 1 year is HUGE in the life of 2-year-olds, so then I feel guilty and try to get them out and into things... which leaves our house looking like a disaster area 80 percent of the time. I keep trying to tell dh that I really DO clean during the kids nap... but it takes about 2.5 seconds for them to effectively UN-do everything when they wake up . Top that off with finding out that I am pregnant a week after we get here, in the heat of the summer, with NO air. No, not a happy camper in the LEAST!

More then the physical drain, I am feeling the emotional drain of feeling like there are so many things that I need to be doing that I am not. I hate to say that my biggest push to get to the gym each day is the thought that for one hour I get to have "ME" time and the kids are safely playing under ANOTHER persons supervision.

To top it off, dh really likes to have the kids wait up for him to say hi when he gets home. I start really loosing my steam about 1 hour BEFORE their bed time, so when he comes home 1 to 1 1/2 hours AFTER their bedtime, he can't quite understand why I am ready to pull out my hair and poke his eyeballs out! When I tried to explain the fact that we are all tired and grumpy just sitting waiting for him to come home, his response was that I should find a way to not be tired and grumpy during that time . (Wow, what a novell idea, why didn't I think of that brainy advice??! ).

So, once again, I THANK YOU for helping me to realize that this is NOT just me... that it is possible to feel like you are about to fall over and wonder how you are going to get through the next 5 minutes. Speaking of getting through... I now have yet another cereal-spilled-on-the-carpet mess to clean up... . Have a great day and take a break for me!!

Jen B.

[SueC]

I can so relate to what you guys are saying. I have decided that I have 3 basic roles in life--that of wife and mother, taking care of my business, and taking care of the house. Unfortunately, there isn't enough time in the freakin' day to adequately take care of all of them. The only one I can really let slide is taking care of the house but when that happens I turn into a basket case. I can't tell you how many checks I have bounced since Mitchell has been born because I'm too busy/tired/whatever to balance the checkbook and keep track of the finances so I don't know if we can afford to eat out but we do it anyway and blow our budget. As I type this the house is trashed, laundry is piled up and I should be working (since Mitchell is happy in his exersaucer at the moment and the girls are at parent's day out) but I have missed this site so terribly over the last few weeks I can't seem to log off of here. Okay, I guess I really will get to work now and perhaps I'll get back on here later in the day.

I'm too tired to type much of a response.

Bottom line, balance and everyone getting what they need is tough. And if it weren't so important, it wouldn't be such a stressor.

If I start doing some consulting work again, I'll get a housecleaning service. I hate cleaning and I hate having the house a mess -- not a recipe for success! I've tried to get all zen about it to no avail.

On Saturday I am trying one of those...how do you say in English....places were you go and prepare a bunch of meals (http://www.dreamdinners.com as an example). For $150 and 3 hours, I'll make 10 meals that feed about 5-6 and can be frozen. I'm hoping that gives us some mealtime flexibility, cuts down on the cost of eating out, and is fun! I'm going with a friend.

[HeartRN]

Thank God for this website, and this thread! My house is a total DISASTER. I definitely let the house thing slide, because I can't do it all on my own. DH really tries, but he's exhausted, too. The last thing I want to do after a 12 hour (really becomes 14 with commuting) work day is scrub a toilet. Keelin and I spend the days that we have off of work/daycare just recovering from it all. I wish we could make it without my income, but for now, we can't. We survive with humor, plain and simple. And we take lots of walks when it's nice out, for the fresh air. When we all have a bad day, I just say to myself, "This, too, shall pass"!!!!

Marla

[Flynn]

I've learned (the hard way) for me it's all about expectations I have. For example I have standards about the house, my daughter, laundry, my appearance (well, it's TRUE) and cooking. Sometimes things slide but that usually means I have done really well in another area. So the fridge is almost empty but the house is very clean or the house is moderately clean and the laundry is all done.

I make sure to ask for a couple of hours away from my daughter from my DH or parents about twice a month to clean, do errands alone or whatever, and that is so important for me -- I can live on that for weeks.

Bottom line: for me doing one or two chores a day moderately well (NOT PERFECT -- I had to learn this) saves me from freaking out that everything needs to be done now!!!

Am I tired? Hell yes!! I am 9 months pregnant, hauling an extra 30 pounds around and wondering where my ankles went. I feel very guilty that my dogs aren't getting the exercise they did when I wasn't 9 months pregnant but I have to let that go. I'm dealing with my situation and not even close to what we call here "a meltdown."

I actually feel very lucky most of the time to be in my shoes. I don't even hate my DH's job lately -- holy cow, did I say that???

Off to put my feet up!!!