Bedtime Battles

[HeartRN]

I'm sure other people have experienced this....Keelin (almost one year old) used to be a co-sleeper until about 2 months ago. She made a smooth transition into her crib and generally sleeps straight through (usually bedtime between 6-7 except on work nights, wakes up around 7) . She's never really cried much when I put her in the crib for the night. UNTIL NOW! Is this a developmental thing or something? Or just protest crying? I think she is going to walk any day now...or is it separation anxiety? We have really cut down on nursing because she keeps BITING. I've tried the whole "take her offf the breast and wait 15 minutes" thing, etc etc, but she still bites. I figure this is her way of telling me she's done with nursing? I don't know! I guess I'm just asking for opinions. She's in her crib crying right now, and I've already gone in there once. I know--this, too, shall pass.....**sigh** Thanks in advance for any responses!

Marla

[mommax3]

There are lots of different opinions on how to handle this.......I think you are dealing with a little separation anxiety coupled with her realizing that she has *some* control over her life (and yours!) i.e. "if I do X, Y happens" with X being crying and Y being the big question mark in her mind.

My suggestion is to develop a night-time routine, if you don't have one yet. Ours always involved a tape/cd playing softly and a nightlight, something that continues to this day with my three year old.

I know there are some people here who have gone the "cry it out" route and it has worked for them, so hopefully they will chime in. I could never do it and opted for the "whatever works" method. My husband was on call most of the time, it seemed, and by the time I had more than one......I would lie down with them or have them in my bed if DH wasn't home. (He can't stand to have kids in our bed.) Sleeping with them was never the norm, but it got us through some rough times and I have good sleepers now.

Good luck......I know it can be a miserable time.

Sally

I'm sorry....that stinks. Sleep is just so, nice. Ditto to what Sally said. I'm an advocate for whatever works for you and your family.

[PrincessFiona]

ditto to what sally said.

I also tend to be a big believer in looking at their sleep/wake schedule and making adaptations. If Keelin is no longer as sleepy between 6-7 that might be the issue. I like to get Aidan into bed at 7.30-8 and so I schedule his naps at around 10am and 2pm. If he lays down any later than 2, it's all over for bedtime. I also have discovered that I can only let him sleep 1.5-2 hours at the most in the afternoon or he just isn't ready for bed when I'm ready to put him down.

Your munchkin may be having some shifts in her own rhythm. Maybe she needs to have her naptimes altered or the length of time reduced so that she is tired when it is bedtime. :

Kris

[Flynn]

I'm all for routines -- they have worked great for us!! We also did the cry it out method but much much earlier in our daughter's life so it's easier then.

All the posts have had great suggestions. Think about them, try a few and then pick the one you think is closest to what is going on with your daughter. Then, STAND FIRM and your kid will adapt!!!!

I think she's playing with you a bit to see what happens. So far it's working in that you do come in once in a while to comfort her....
If it comforts her for you to come in I would still do it once in a while. If it just seems to get her more ticked you aren't getting her out of the crib, don't go in!!! She'll figure it out.

Any books, or small toys in her crib? Our daughter is in a twin bed now but we always had a few books in her crib and she LOVED that if she had trouble sleeping.

Good luck.

[mommax3]

Flynn said:

Our daughter is in a twin bed now but we always had a few books in her crib and she LOVED that if she had trouble sleeping.

and we did that too.....worked really well!

Sally

[DCJenn]

Whatever you decide to do, as everyone has said, stick with it- as a person who has designed plans to change people's behaviors there are 2 important things to know:

1) Intermittent reinforcement is the most powerful reinforment schedule there is- so by occasionally doing one thing and then occasionally doing something else you are completely reinforcing that behavior. (think of how we behave at slot machines or with lottery scratch offs- sometimes we DO win and we keep right on playing/buying)

2) ALL behavior will get worse before it gets better, and it may be come A LOT worse before you see the change. People (of any age) will continue to test to see what they can manipulate before making the final leap of faith to change their behaviors once and for all.

So- whatever you decide, make sure your husband is 100% with you and that you both know the drill!

Jenn

[HeartRN]

Thanks for all of the advice. I think the hardest thing for us is the days that I work 12 hours and she is in daycare, and thus becomes overtired because she doesn't get adequate naps there. Today was great because I was home all day with her and we did our normal "at home" routine. She went to sleep this evening without a fight at all. I am starting to conclude that the night waking thing or the difficulty going to bed initially thing is all related to being overstimulated during the day at daycare (with only one small nap). I know she's ready to go to bed when I do have days off with her because she picks up her dolly and wants me to hold her....sometimes she even puts her head down on blankets like she is going to sleep Then we read our stories and end with the same one...I think it's called "Time for Bed"...you know, really rhythmic..."Time for bed little sheep, little sheep..the whole wide world is going to sleep.." I think I know it be heart

Thanks again for all of the advice! I will be referencing it again in the future, no doubt!

Marla

Then we read our stories and end with the same one...I think it's called "Time for Bed"...you know, really rhythmic..."Time for bed little sheep, little sheep..the whole wide world is going to sleep.." I think I know it be heart

I think I still have that story memorized. I would do the same thing.

The good news is, that if you are out of town and forget the book you can just do it from memory!