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Mother/Father Nurture

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  • Mother/Father Nurture

    I'm trying to read the book "Mother Nurture" (If only my mommy brain would let me concentrate for more than a few minutes at a time I would have finished it long ago!) by Rick Hanson. They have a great survey about the risk factors that moms (but I'm adding dads to this list) have for feeling depleted and hence not being the parent/person that they want to be. I thought I'd type up the list here for anyone to evaluate themselves and their risk for burnout/depletion.

    You can, of course keepy your results private, btw..

    High Demands on You

    Physical
    • Have had two or more children
      Less than eighteen months' spacing between any two children
      Breast-fed one or more children over eighteen months
      Breast-fed one or more children over eighteen months
      Breast-fed during pregnancy, or two children during the same period
      Became pregnant and carried to term les than three months after weaning
      Disturbed sleep over the past three months or averaged less than seven hours per day during that period.


    Child-Related
    • Currently caring for a child under three years of age
      Care for a child eight or more hours a day
      Have a child with a challenging temperament
      Have a child with chronic physical or psychological problems


    Associated Factors
    • Unreliable or mediocre child care
      Care for others besides cihldren-e.g., ill spouse or parent
      Returned to work twenty-plus hours per week before baby was one year old
      Currently working for pay thirty plus hours per week or full-time student


    Low Resources Coming To You


    Physical
    • During pregnancy, ate fewer than three meals per day or few fresh vegetables or little protein
      Since birth of first child, nutrition has been mediocre or poor
      Little use of vitamin/mineral supplements
      Little or no exercise


    Psychological
    • Little time for breaks
      Little use of stres relief techniques: progressive relaxation or meditation
      Do few personal enjoyments or pleasures
      Little or no spiritual or religious orientation


    Interpersonal
    • Single parent
      Partner travels frequently (or think "call")
      Low sense of teamwork or cooperation with partner
      Partner does little child rearing or housework during evenings or weekends
      Low sense of emotional intimacy with a partner
      Little affection or sexuality with a partner
      Little tangible support from relatives
      Little sense of connection with other mothers
      Little sense of connection with community institutions supportive of families (ie Moms Club)


    Personal Vulnerabilities

    Prior to Pregnancy with First Child
    • Extensive dieting or eating disorder
      Generally mediocre or poor nutrition
      Little use of vitamin/mineral supplements
      Significant exposure to toxic chemicals
      Hormone problems...eg. thyroid, diabetes, PMS
      Gastrointestinal problesm...eg. irritable bowel syndrome, ulcer
      Immune system problems...e.g. sever allergies, asthma, arthritis, lupus
      Significant depression or anxiety
      Family history of hormone, gastrointestinal, immune or reproductive problems
      Family history of psychological problems
      Highly sensitive, anxious or rigid temperament


    During any pregnancy carried to term
    • Complications such as preeclampsia or toxemia
      Serious obstetric complications


    Since Children
    • One or more children born when mother was thirty-plus years old
      One or more episodes of postpartum depression
      Regular use of tobacco
      Alcohol abuse
      Drug abuse
      Significantly overweight


    5 or fewer factors suggest low risk, six to fifteen factors suggest moderate risk and sixteen or more factors suggest a high risk.
    ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
    ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

  • #2
    I scored 13, mostly on the physical demands and nutrition. I did do well once I got down to interpersonal and personal vulnerabilities.
    Sounds like an interesting book Kris, you'll have to post a review when you finish it!
    Awake is the new sleep!

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    • #3
      For me, the high demands on you section was pretty much maxed out for the physical and child-related. In terms of low resources...I would have to savy that I was pleasantly surprised that I've made changes in this area and have begun taking those breaks for myself and doing things for personal enjoyment....a MUST or I'd go bonkers. The interpersonal was what struck me....

      Little tangible support from relatives, little sense of connection with other mothers, little sense of connection with community institutions supportive of famiilies...Though those things also just count the same as other things, in my mind they are big and are what cause me a lot of lonliness and frustration. It is food for thought for me...

      kris
      ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
      ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

      Comment


      • #4
        Interesting....I know that I am near depleted!!

        Comment


        • #5
          Good night!!!

          I scored a 25.


          Jennifer
          Who uses a machete to cut through red tape
          With fingernails that shine like justice
          And a voice that is dark like tinted glass

          Comment


          • #6
            Jennifer, my goodness!

            I scored a 12. I counted some of the items as 0.5 -- they were nagging issues not screaming ones, if that makes any sense. Although, as I sit here trying to type and answer my child's questions, I think I should have taken another point for a child with a challenging temperment.

            This is interesting -- it opened my eyes to some challenges that I have overlooked.

            Comment


            • #7
              This has me thinking....
              What about high maintenance pets? This doggy diabetes stuff is driving me nuts.

              I was suprised not to see some of the common culprits of stress such as recent death in the family, a move, overwhelming debt load, that sort of thing. But maybe that has less impact on parenting?

              Comment


              • #8
                I got a fifteen. And I am feeling it today!

                Sally
                Wife of an OB/Gyn, mom to three boys, middle school choir teacher.

                "I don't know when Dad will be home."

                Comment


                • #9
                  21
                  Needs

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    That's a good point Nellie--I think one of the main things that I worry over the most is finances (see post in call room), so it surprises that that wouldn't factor in.
                    Awake is the new sleep!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Wow-

                      I scored a 4! So, I'm guessing my lifestyle is working for me for another few weeks or so!!!!

                      Jenn

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        19...and feeling every bit of it.

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