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The book that I am reading, "The Pecking Order" has posed the question in my mind about how we are/wiil raise each of our children differently. It has only been three months that I have had two children, so it is hard to truly discern these differences yet, but already I have done some small things differently which can or will create different outcomes.
First, there are external circumstances which my first born has endured that my second born will never know. My son has been with us through the last year of medical school and 7 years of residency in Minnesota. He will be 9.5 when training has completed. He will have cross country moves which entail changing schools. His grandparents live far away. I worked when he was young. DH worked so many hours and we have no family here so my relationship with him was super intense for 4.5 years. He was an only child during the all important baby/toddler/preschool years. We overanalyze everything with him and have been harder and faster about the rules.
My daughter, on the other hand, will not remember living where she was born. She will not remember sharing a bedroom, frigid cold winters, the stress of residency, the tight finances (hopefully). She will be 4.5 years old when training is complete, and hopefully experience more geographic stability and a closer proximity to extended family (HOPEFULLY). Her parents were in their early thirties and more stable in their relationship by the time she came along. I'm sure she will face her own challenges, but they will be different from my son's.
Even beyond these external factors, however, I'm sure that we will parent our children differently because they are different individuals. I'm not saying this is right or wrong, it is what it is. I hope that they feel we parented equitably and with love. I wonder if we are setting them up for widely divergent outcomes as talked about in that book. I hope that we are sending them on the right path. But we shall see....
Anyway, here is a loaded question for you all. How are you raising each of your children differently from one another? Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Do you think that it will create different outcomes for your children?
Kelly
First, there are external circumstances which my first born has endured that my second born will never know. My son has been with us through the last year of medical school and 7 years of residency in Minnesota. He will be 9.5 when training has completed. He will have cross country moves which entail changing schools. His grandparents live far away. I worked when he was young. DH worked so many hours and we have no family here so my relationship with him was super intense for 4.5 years. He was an only child during the all important baby/toddler/preschool years. We overanalyze everything with him and have been harder and faster about the rules.
My daughter, on the other hand, will not remember living where she was born. She will not remember sharing a bedroom, frigid cold winters, the stress of residency, the tight finances (hopefully). She will be 4.5 years old when training is complete, and hopefully experience more geographic stability and a closer proximity to extended family (HOPEFULLY). Her parents were in their early thirties and more stable in their relationship by the time she came along. I'm sure she will face her own challenges, but they will be different from my son's.
Even beyond these external factors, however, I'm sure that we will parent our children differently because they are different individuals. I'm not saying this is right or wrong, it is what it is. I hope that they feel we parented equitably and with love. I wonder if we are setting them up for widely divergent outcomes as talked about in that book. I hope that we are sending them on the right path. But we shall see....
Anyway, here is a loaded question for you all. How are you raising each of your children differently from one another? Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Do you think that it will create different outcomes for your children?
Kelly
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