Kids and Religion

[HeartRN]

Do you take your kids to church? DH grew up Catholic but hasn't been in a LONG time. I grew up in a very relaxed Christian Protestant atmosphere (small congregation where you could wear jeans to church). DH has been talking about getting DD baptized or christened or whatever it would be called now, but in the Catholic church. Honestly, I'm not too sure how I feel about it all, especially since neither of us has been involved with church for a while. Part of me feels like it's important, the other part...hmmm...not so sure. I had many great experiences through my church--camp, youth group stuff, etc., but I don't know if I would be a dramatically different person had I never attended church. Just curious about how things are in your family if you're willing to share. Thanks in advance.

[SueC]

My dh grew up Catholic and I grew up Episcopalian. My parents took me to church on a regular basis, whereas dh was never confirmed and didn't really attend church. Being that I felt more strongly tied to my religion, we got married in my church and our kids will be Episcopalians (at least while living in our house!). I need to talk more about religion to my kids, that's one thing my parents didn't do. We never discussed religion at home. Our 4 year old in particular has taken an interest in talking about God, and is always stumping me with her questions. It is really important to me to give my kids something to believe in. I want them to have some sort of spiritual base so that when terrible things happen in the world (9/11, the death of somebody close, etc.) they'll have something to cling to. While I'm not outwardly religious (most people that know me probably wouldn't describe me as particularly religious), I've leaned on my faith quite a bit over the years and I can't imagine not giving that to my kids.

[Rapunzel]

I grew up LDS (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) as did my husband (our parents were all converts, however). We were married in the Dallas, TX, LDS temple and have been very active members our entire lives, no matter where we live. Our beliefs about existance pertain to just about every aspect of life so church, for us, goes way beyond attending Sacrament meeting, Sunday School, and other classes on Sundays. All of our children are being raised with our values and views on existence. My eldest is reading on about the fifth grade level so he has just begun reading the Book of Mormon for himself this year. Next year he'll move on to reading the King James version of the New Testament. He was baptized on his last (8th) birthday on October 31st by his dad which is a REALLY big thing and I am so proud of him for taking it very seriously.

I know that I would be a radically different person without my faith. Growing up in our church we learn at a very early age exactly what we believe and why and we are taught to constantly ask questions, focusing on gaining a testimony of these things for ourselves as individuals. I feel like I am constantly evolving as a person and my religious beliefs are the largest contributors to this growth. I want my children to have these things. I want them to feel for themselves a personal relationship with God. I want them to come to a knowledge on their own in due time of the things I, my husband, my parents, and all of our siblings have learned are true. I think this is the greatest gift my husband and I could give our children other than life itself.

Hi Marla,

I don't have any kids but I thought I'd write anyway, so feel free to ignore . I suggest you get in contact with someone at a local parish to learn more about the sacrament of Baptism. In terms of pragmatic considerations, you will probably find that parents who are seeking the sacrament for their child will have to (at the very least) attend a few sessions to learn more about the sacrament itself and their own responsibilities in the matter. It may also be that the parents (or at least one of them) needs to be a member of the parish where the sacrament will take place.

You may know this already, but in recent times the church has placed a much greater focus on the parents', godparents', and the larger faith community's (parish) role / participation in the sacrament on that day and from that day forward in the baptized child's future faith life. One example of this shift is that private baptisms which used to be the norm are very rare these days. Virtually all children baptized will be baptized with a few other children during a regularly scheduled mass (so the parents, godparents, and wider community are all present).

Checking in with the local parish should enable you to learn more not only about the logistics/requirements but about the sacrament itself. After doing this, you and your husband will be better able to assess whether or not this commitment is something you want to undertake for your child and yourselves.

[mommax3]

My husband and I both grew up in a fairly strict Baptist church. We would never go back to that particular denomination, but I am not ruling out Baptists altogether! (There are as many "brands" of Baptist as there are ice cream!) I just wouldn't go back to that specific type of church. Anyway, there were LOTS of positives about growing up in a church, and I wouldn't trade them. I would have to say that for me, the biggest positives were: being taught that there are moral absolutes that are not situation-dependent, and that our reason for existing is not a random one. I think that both DH and I would be much different if our faith was not a part of our lives, but it is hard to say how since it has been part of our lives since we were young.

I think with kids, they will learn what they live, so if you want them to have a religious component to their lives, they need to see you having the same thing. Because we have moved around so much due to DH's training, it has sometimes been a huge hassle to find a church that we like, but having the kids has kept us from giving up, since we want them to think of going to church as a normal part of their weekend, and have the benefits that I referred to above. When we have found good churches, an added bonus has been the friendships we have made, both for ourselves and for our kids.

With you and your husband coming from different backgrounds, I guess a good place to start would be with the things you both believe, and go from there. I think there is some kind of online quiz that you can take to determine the best church for you. Try this link if you are interested....
http://www.beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html

Sally

[HeartRN]

Thanks everybody for your responses so far....I have found the info and input (esp Sally and Kevin) especially helpful. I plan to go to the link you gave, too, Sally.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate this website! In particular, I am so grateful to be able to talk so honestly to a group of people with which I have so much in common (naturally, I'm referring to this crazy medspouse lifestyle!) Thanks again for your candor and input.

PS Kevin, are you in Charlottesville? DH and I just drove there today to go to the Crutchfield store It was nice to get away, though....

we've struggled with this too...

My husband and I struggled through this about a year ago. We had been married for about a year and still had not joined a church. He had grown up Baptist and I had grown up Methodist, but neither of us felt a particular draw to religion. I also was struggling with the many conservative views that much of the Methodist church tends to take on certain issues and wasn't sure if I was ready to tackle that concern.

I decided that we at least needed to think seriously about it when my son was born last year. We ended up finding a wonderful Methodist church that is compatible with our views and we felt welcome from the very first day. I joined almost immediately because I suddenly realized how much I missed belonging to this supportive community. Granted, my attendance lately has been horrible because of my new pregnancy (so tired and nauseous!) and my husband's rotation schedule, but it's made a big difference to be able to depend on the people I've met and the programs that are available through the church. I really didn't realize how much I missed that particular kind of community until I came back. I think that it'll be a good place for my son to experience growing up--more than anything, you just have to keep looking around until you find a church that will fulfill your needs.

PS Kevin, are you in Charlottesville? DH and I just drove there today to go to the Crutchfield store Rolling Eyes It was nice to get away, though....

We're not in C'ville anymore, but UVa is where my wife and I met. I got my graduate degree there and she received her undergraduate degree there. Actually, we just drove through there over Thanksgiving as my parents live in Harrisonburg. But we've stayed in the ACC as now we're in Chapel Hill.

How was Crutchfield? If you get a chance (and haven't already), you might enjoy a short trip to C'ville. You could check out Monticello, UVa, and a lot of local wineries, such as Barboursville vineyards.

Did you drive from the Tidewater area?

[HeartRN]

Yeah, I've thought about checking out Monticello, probably best to do sans baby! The UVA campus was really pretty yesterday....We're in Richmond. I guess I should quit hijacking my own thread!