Competitive Parenting

Nellie,

Only if you follow the two most important "rules": 1) Don't contact me again after sending me your ten-page letter 2) Don't ever ask me anything about my family's life if we should ever meet up with one another accidentally (since letter writers often don't want to meet up with recipients -- and since once I receive your letter I'll be trying to avoid you since I don't want to hear about Lizzie ad naseum ). :! :>

[JaneDoe]

I think I'm going to be the lone dissenter. I actually really enjoy receiving holiday letters! I love reading about what friends and family have been up to during the past year, even if it is a little on the boastful side.

Although I enjoy receiving holiday letters, it's not so easy for me to send them for the very reasons expressed in this thread - I'm afraid people will think I'm bragging! I also think our lives a really boring.

I guess for me it is simply an easy way to keep in touch with people who I don't see very often. And, believe me, in the last five years, there are quite a few people who we rarely see since we live on the other side of the country from most of our friends and family.

Jane Doe,

Yes, some of what I said was tongue-in-cheek though I really have read some awful ones. I hope folks don't get upset at my post -- that's just been my limited experience with the few holiday letters I've received. Honestly, I imagine there are many people on this site who write thoughful, well-meaning, and socially appropriate letters that warm the hearts of folks who haven't seen them for a while. And I also understand that the exigencies of medical training (e.g. moving fairly frequently and perhaps far away) makes holiday letter writing an attractive and economical (speaking of time) way to reconnect with old, but true friends.

So, please don't take offense if you've just dropped a note to an old friend in the mail.

[PrincessFiona]

Jane...ummm...can I just...say that I... usually send out holiday letters

I'll have to send them out to everyone here this year so I can get a brag rating after this rant of mine! :>

Kris and Other Holiday Scribes ,

It's not that you write, it's who you write and how you write. In short, I'm certain no one here writes the kind of notes that I was thinking of when I wrote my tongue-in-cheek "rant".

I have received those letters and they usually provide some much needed holiday comic relief at our house (though that wasn't the intent, I'm sure!).
I like getting letters too, most of the time, because it's hard to keep up with everyone but also hard to let them go....

And, I got to see a picture of a blue-footed boobie from a Christmas letter we got yesterday. Their feet are really bright blue!

Last year, we sent out brief Christmas letters with a bullet point for each family member. But I guess you could still fit: "Saved the world from certain destruction while developing a vaccine for the common cold and planting bulbs to bloom in the image of Mother Theresa." But that's not what our bullet points said.

Speaking of Christmas letters, we got one today from one of my husband's colleagues. Thankfully he kept it down to about 1/2 a page and he also wrote a personal message at the bottom...that let us know that he really was thinking of us when he sent the letter and not just automatically sending it to everyone in his address book. I can't stand it when I get an unsigned holiday letter!

You know, I've gotten a few very well-done letters, but most are just annoying. I agree, in a lot of cases its just an excuse to tell people how wonderful your kids are, thus how wonderful YOU are. At least thats what I think is behind a lot of these Holiday Updates.
Once, when I was still living at home, one of the neighbors had a son who did something so exceptionally wonderful that I forgot what it was, BUT the parents put flyers in everyone's mailboxes announcing the achievement. That was over the top, in my opinion.

Once, when I was still living at home, one of the neighbors had a son who did something so exceptionally wonderful that I forgot what it was, BUT the parents put flyers in everyone's mailboxes announcing the achievement. Rolling Eyes That was over the top, in my opinion.

Funny, it does provide comic relief until the poor neighbors realize they'll see "Johny's" over-involved and narcisistic parents at every PTA meeting for YEARS to come. Just recently, in my in-law's neighborhood a family strung up a professional marketing banner across the width of the house that read, "Congrats (insert name here) on acceptance to Georgetown." I couldn't make this stuff up.

[mommax3]

I send out Christmas letters, usually, although I didn't last year, because for 8 years now, we have lived far from family and friends that we want to keep up with. I live in fear of writing one of THOSE letters.....I think so far, I have done okay, because my mom would be the first one to let me know if I crossed the line! I keep the letter to one page, which for a long time wasn't too hard, but now with three kids and two adults, there is almost not enough room for the essentials, never mind embellishments! (Maybe next year I will switch to a smaller font...... )

I like getting letters, too, even if they are a little on the self-congratulatory side. The fact that someone would write a letter like that tells me at least as much about them as do the things they choose to share in print. I really haven't gotten any annoying letters so far in my life, but my mom gets some doozies.....interestingly enough, they are usually from people that she never sees and hasn't sent cards to in years. Go figure.....

Sally

Wow. A marketing banner.... I don't even know what to say to that.

Growing up, I had a lot of friends and classmates whose parents pushed them incredibly hard. There was one Mary Poppins-perfect family who sent the annual Christmas bragging fest and it always made ME feel inferior-- I never even thought about how it made my parents feel about their parenting skills!

I still get these annual letters from this family, except their 3 kids (the oldest is my age) have all since had their rebellion stages and/or emotional breakdowns. So now I get to read about how their kids have all moved to different continents (literally) to get away from them! Just think, Kris, in 10-20 years, you'll have the last laugh, AND your kids will be balanced and socially well-adjusted adults.

Jennifer,
I think you are missing the whole idea of this post. Everyone here is just joking around and co-miserating a bit. Not everything has to be a debate.
I am glad you were so busy in high school, that is wonderful. Just don't be such a BUZZKILL and let us laugh a little ok?

Esther, I'd love to see what that family's letters say now!

[SueC]

And, I got to see a picture of a blue-footed boobie from a Christmas letter we got yesterday. Their feet are really bright blue!

Nellie, I have to know--what in the h*ll is a blue footed boobie? I've read that sentence half a dozen times--is there some kind of new lingo that I'm not up to speed on?
I think holiday letters are often fine, I've read plenty that give a little blurb on each family member and don't seem as though they are bragging too much. My dad sends one out every year and it is hysterical. He usually pokes fun at himself and his offspring and usually somebody in the family gets pissed off. It has become one of the highlights of Christmas for me.